


A Light in the Darkness

by ChristinaE1985



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Lucius Malfoy, Book 2: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Child Abuse, Draco’s sister, Gen, Patriarch - Freeform, abused, malfoy daughter - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2019-10-02 07:13:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 75,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17259875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristinaE1985/pseuds/ChristinaE1985
Summary: Help me become a better writer! I really welcome your feedback in the comments.Delia Malfoy can think of nothing but her Hogwarts letter. Will it come? Will father allow her to go if it does? She rarely leaves the Manor, and has dreams of being free of her abusive father. His cold and sometimes cruel ways have left her feeling so alone. All she wants to do is go to school, and make a friend. Maybe away from fathers constant glare, Draco would even be the brother she had always hoped he would be. His need for fathers constant approval has created a distance between the two young Malfoys, and she missed the close relationship they once had.





	1. Chapter 1

The summer had been long, and stressful. It was so hot and everyone seemed to be even more irritable than normal. All Draco seemed interested in was Quidditch and would spend hours flying around the Manor or holed up in his room. Mother seemed to be under a great deal of stress and it was related to the constant meetings father had in his office. There was a regular flow of dark witches and wizards in our home this summer. It was something that left me unnerved. Unlike Draco, I was frightened by many of them and I wasn't too preoccupied to notice that something was going on.

This is the summer I should receive my Hogwarts letter. I have dreamt of going to Hogwarts for years! Away from this dreary house and away from my father. He doesn't hide his feelings toward me well, and mother has come to my defense less and less as the years pass. I love my father, I truly wished he loved me too. He cares for Draco, I can see it in the way he lavishes him with gifts and takes him places. He speaks to Draco about things of interest and they often enjoy each others company. Don't get me wrong, Father can be rather strict with my brother too, but I have never seen him look at Draco the way he does me. There is a coldness in his voice when he addresses me and it has served me as a warning. I constantly have to remind myself to steer clear of his anger because the results can be terrifying.

I suspect today will be much like the last few months. I spend the majority of my days reading in my room or tending to Mother's abandon gardens. She used to love to garden, some of my fondest memories are playing in the gardens while she tended to her plants. Life at Malfoy Manor was not always a loveless as it is now. Mother used to be full of life. She had a passion for Herbology and Potions. She loved to listen to music and smiled all the time. The years have not been kind though, as darkness and fear seemed to permeate our lives now. Mother is just a shell of the women I knew. You can see the worry in her eyes and she has retreated within herself, to the point where it seems like she's hardly there at all.

As I am standing inside my enourmous closet trying to find something to wear for the day I hear a slight pop behind me. I know that Dobby has come to check on me. My sweet little house elf, whom I love dearly. He is diligent in reminding me to be on time for meals. Father does not tolerate tardiness of any kind and does not hesitate to punish the offender.

"Miss must get dressed quickly! Miss must not keep Master waiting!" Dobby said, full of concern pacing my closet.

"I am nearly finished Dobby, don't worry." I smiled at him. I can see in his face both worry and love. I think he is the only one in this house that makes me feel loved and I am grateful for him.

I quickly throw on a light grey button down dress and shoes. As I brush my long blond hair away from my face, I can't help but be amazed at how much I look like my Father and brother. How can we look so similar and yet be so different?

When I arrive in the dinning room I am greeted by Mother. "Good Morning Delia." she says. She looks so tired. It pains me to see her like this, but I never know quite what to say to her these days. Whenever I express any feelings of concern, it seems to cause her even more alarm. She looks so fragile to me this morning. I don't even think Father realizes how vulnerable she has become.

"Good Morning Mother." is all I can reply. I desperately want to wrap my arms around her and ask her what's wrong, but I don't dare. Not only would it cause her more pain, but Father would be furious over such a display of emotion at the dinning room table.

So, like every morning I sit at the table in silence, waiting for Father to appear. The house elves know not to serve a drop of anything till Father is seated. We sit in silence in the grand room with it's cold elegance. Dark walls draped with tapestries and paintings depicting the Pureblood nobility of The Malfoy and Black families. Dark wood tables and chairs that look severe rather than welcoming. Gold and silver heirlooms from generations past and enchanted silk upholsteries that twinkle as if they were hiding something.

Draco comes scrambling in, quickly taking his seat. I can tell by creases on his face that he overslept and must have thrown his clothing on and raced down. "Good Morning." He says to us both and I can see the relief in his face that our Father has not beaten him to the table.

Before we have a chance to even reply Father appears. "Good Morning." He says to us and we all return his formal greeting. I can see Father eying Draco suspiciously.

The house elves quickly appear with coffee, tea and our breakfast. I love breakfast! Our house elf Tansy makes the most delicious food. As Dobby brings me my plate I see that my favorite orange scones, cream and raspberry jam await me. Once everyone has been served the house elves disappear. "Narcissa, I have business at the Ministry today and I won't be home till this evening." Father says to Mother.

I look up to see her response and I say a silent prayer that my own excitement is not visible on my face. Having Father away from the house for the entire day means freedom. I don't dare let him see how this excites me.

"What are you plans for today? I do hope you are keeping the children up to date on their lessons." It is Mother's duty to ensure we are educated in the ways of Purebloods. She teaches about the history and traditions of Purebloods and decorum. I hate the Pureblood mentality and I don't think my Mother embraces the same beliefs as my Father, but we all go through the motions anyways.

"I had intended to show Delia how to prepare the east ballroom for fall." Mother replied. Learning to run a household was supposed to be high on the list of things I needed to learn as the daughter of Lucius Malfoy. I had no interest, but had learned obedience was also expected of me, and that my opinion didn't matter much.

Before they could say more there was a soft tapping at the dining room window. One of the house elves appeared to let the large grey owl in. Nigel, our owl dropped a handful of letters in front of Father and then dropped one in front of Draco. I could see it was his Hogwarts letter from where I sat across from him. My heart sank a little as Nigel flew past me to Mother with a stack of letters for her. I was struggling to keep my emotions in check when he suddenly flew past me and dropped a single letter on my plate. In emerald green writing it was clearly addressed to me and it was from Hogwarts!

I was afraid to even look at Father, he still has not given his permission for me to attend. He had spoken to Mother last year when Draco started at Hogwarts about how he felt they were lacking in the things a Pureblood Witch needed in an education. He even encouraged Mother to consider to continue to homeschool. He told her that she was the best example of everything I ever needed to learn about being a witch and why send me to commiserate with Mudbloods and Blood traders. I couldn't stand the thought of never being allowed to go to school, the thought of living another 7 years like a prisoner in Malfoy Manor was just more than I could bare.

Without looking up I slowly began to open my letter. When I unfolded it, it clearly said "Congratulations Miss Malfoy, you have been accepted into Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry......." along with the acceptance letter was a list of school supplies. When I finally gained the courage to look up I realized that not one member of my family was even remotely interested in me or my letter. Mother was reading what appeared to be a letter from Aunt Bella, who was in Alzkaban Prison. It pained mother greatly to be separated from her sister and to make it worse, the knowledge of her being in Azkaban was more than she could take. Father was reading the Daily Prophet and Draco was busily eating his breakfast.

I didn't know what to do! I wanted to know if I was going to be allowed to go, but I knew better than to ask a question like this at the breakfast table. It wasn't long till Father had finished his meal and excused himself from the table. He was in a hurry to get to the Ministry. Draco followed suit, anxious to return to his room. It was just Mother and I and I decided to ask her.

"Mother, will Father allow me to attend Hogwarts this year? My letter arrived today, l've been accepted." I asked.

She didn't reply right away and it made me feel even more doubt. "Delia, I hope your Father says you will be able to go. You will have to ask him yourself though. The last time we discussed it, he still seemed to feel you would be better served with a home education." Her words filled me with dread. Having a discussion with my Father was one of the very last things I wanted to do, but it was obviously unavoidable. 

"Could you please talk to him?" I pleaded, trying not to cry.

"I don't know, you should speak to him sooner than later and he won't be home till late this evening. I am not sure he will be in the right frame of mind tonight for me to bring this up. You need to request a time to speak with him directly in his office." And then she stood up and left the table, making it clear that this discussion was finished.


	2. Chapter 2

My morning left me feeling such a mixture of emotions. I went from being excited about my Hogwarts letter, to stressed about the prospect of a trip to Fathers office. I was also hurt and angry with Mother. Why couldn't she stand up to Father on my behalf? Why can't she just demand I be allowed to go?

I decided to take advantage of Fathers absence and head to our library. While I am not forbidden from using the Library, its right next to Fathers office and I always feel like I have angered him when he finds me there.

We have an amazing Library, filled with books that have been in our family for hundreds of years. I am permitted to use any of the books on the first floor of the Library and there are thousands to choose from. The second floor is off limits to my brother and I. Those books are Fathers private collection and I suspect contain a great deal of the Dark Arts. I wonder if the Ministry would approve of such a collection. I am often tempted to sneak up there and have a look, curiosity sometimes being more of a challenge than my fear of being caught. Today, will not be the day for that sort of thing though. I don't need to anger Father right before I ask him to allow me to attend school.

I make my way to the Herbology section of the Library and select a few books to help me in the garden. My Dittany plants have suddenly lost a lot of their color and I am suspecting some sort of deficiency. I want to make sure before I attempt anything, it can be such a temperamental plant, but it is a must in any good witches stores.

In my mind I am already trying to prepare myself for my meeting with Father. I keep trying to imagine what I must say to him so that he agrees to let me go without angering him. I make up my mind to go to my room and send him an owl. I know Mother is right when she said I must have this conversation with him right away. I just wish he was easier to talk to.

I leave the Library and head to the third floor. Draco and I share the East Wing of the third floor. We each have our own bedroom, bathroom and sitting room. You would think that sharing the same wing of the house that we would see more of each other but we don't. Draco scarcely lets me even come into his rooms, which are decorated in Slytherin Green and Silver and enchanted posters of famous Quidditch players. Our family have all been in Slytherin for as long as anyone can remember. You can see the families allegiance to Slytherin through out our house, especially in Fathers office. My room is a pleasant mixture of purples, blues and green. I love the gardens, and the theme of this love is everywhere in my room. It is the only space in the house I can truly be myself and I love to surround myself with the joy I find in the flowers and beautiful creatures from the gardens. My ceiling is enchanted to mirror the outside sky, and my wallpaper is filled with climbing vines, vibrant flowing plants and small magical creatures like fairies and gnomes. My bed is a large four poster, with intricate carvings of flowers and vines that change to reflect the seasons. I have a rich purple duvet with blue, green, yellow and red hand embroidered flowers on it. I love my room and I am thankful Father never comes up here because he would find it silly and childish, probably demanding I change it.

In the corner of the room, near the large window that overlooks the gardens is my desk. It is made to match my bed with its floral carvings. I sit down at my desk with a plunk, pulling open the top drawer and removing some parchment, a quill and some ink. Looking out the window I see a small Garden Gnome running past my Wolfsbane beds and I make a mental note to deal with that in the next few days. Struggling to come up with the exact wording to my letter I put quill to parchment.

Dearest Father,

Would you please be so kind as to allow me to take a few moments of your time to discuss my education plans for the Fall? I realize that you are very busy as of late and will make myself available to you whenever it suits you.

Respectfully Yours,

Cordelia Bellatrix Malfoy

Sealed and tied with a small ribbon I take my letter to the the post outside of Fathers office where Nigel hangs out when he is not delivering or retrieving letters. As soon as he sees me letter in hand, he fluffs up his feathers and lets our an annoyed squawk. He lowers his head and glares at me. Nigel is a beast of an owl, who on more than one occasion has bitten me. I dislike him a great deal, but the bird is always well behaved towards Mother and Father. "I'm warning you Nigel, if you bite me you'll be sorry! Remember, this letter is for Father and if he doesn't let me go to Hogwarts this year than I will be allowed to do magic at Malfoy Manor as part of my home education. The first thing I plan on learning is how to transfigure you into an old tea towel if you don't behave!" The owl and I both glared at each other. I roughly thrust my letter at him. I had hoped he would be intimidated enough by my new found bravery to take the letter and be off but the evil thing scratched me as he took off.


	3. Chapter 3

With Father away for the day the Manor was fairly quiet. Draco was in his room with his two creep friends Crabbe and Goyle. Mother was spending her day in her sitting room. I was tempted to drop in on her and see if she would allow me to keep her company but I thought better of it. After our conversation this morning, I was still feeling a little resentful. I knew she didn't want to be in the middle, but I was also lonely. Malfoy Manor is a lonely place and I can't wait to someday escape.

I make my way to the kitchen to visit with Dobby and Tansy. They are so different when Father is not around and I enjoy their company and warmth tremendously. The kitchen is nothing like the rest of The Manor, it is filled with sunlight, warmth and delicious smells. When I walk in I see Tansy busily rolling out dough, flour covers her arms and sprinkles her nose. She looks up at me and a large smile replaces the look of concentration on her face. "Miss Delia has come to see Tansy!" she says joyously, jumping down from her stool and wrapping her thin, flour covered arms around me. I hug her back enthusiastically, she and Dobby are the only ones who hug me like this. 

"Where is Dobby?" I ask her, and with a pop he appears.

"Miss Delia is ok?" Dobby asks concerned.

"I am fine Dobby, I was just missing you both and with Father away for the day I knew it was safe to come and visit." I smile at them both mischievously.

Tansy quickly made 3 large mugs of hot chocolate with whip cream and the three of us enjoyed baking ginger biscuits and dinner rolls all afternoon. I am grateful for the company and affection, I love them both so much and I realize that if I am to go to Hogwarts, that I will miss them both dearly. 

We enjoy cheese sandwiches and tea for our lunch in the kitchen and I tell them both about my Hogwarts letter. I'm disappointed that neither of them seem happy with my news. They both exchange nervous looks when I tell them I received my letter. "Father hasn't given me permission to attend yet." I tell them both. "I sent him an owl this morning requesting a meeting with him so that I can ask. I don't know what to say to him, I am scared he will say no."

"Miss should stay at the Manor where she is safe." Dobby says to me with his giant green eyes filled with worry.

"Hogwarts is very safe Dobby and Draco is there, he may not always show it, but he wouldn't let anything happen to me." Dobby looks unconvinced by my reassurance.

"If Misses leaves Tansy will cry every day without her." Tansy tells me as she wraps her tiny arms around me.

"I will miss you too Tansy, I will miss you both. I love you." me saying that is too much for the both of them and they begin to sob and blubber.

"Calm down will you." I laugh. "Father hasn't even said I can go yet." I remind them handing Tansy a tissue. She blows her nose and then straightens up. I kiss them both on top of their heads and excuse myself. I want to go out to the garden this afternoon and before I do I want to look up some things in the books I took from the library.

I make my way back through the silent halls of the manor towards the third floor east wing. As I pass by Draco's room I hear muffled laughter, music and talking. I know this means that Draco has friends over and to steer clear. They can be so obnoxious when they are together and I am in no mood to be the brunt of any of their jokes. 

I quietly make my way past his door and silently open and close my own bedroom door so as not to attract any of their attention. On my desk by the window are the books that I took from the library this morning and I crack one open. I pull out some extra parchment and a quill to take notes and before long I am lost in "One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi". It is more than an hour later that I hear a tapping on my window and look up to see Nigel standing on the outside window ledge with a letter in his beak. I open the window and he flings the letter at me with indignation and flies off. The letter is addressed to me and I recognize fathers meticulous handwriting. Suddenly I am afraid to even open it, I hadn't expected him to even reply to me today. Slowly I peel open the envelope and remove the letter.

Cordelia,

I will be home earlier than expected this evening and will be available to speak with you in my office after dinner at 9 pm.

Father

I sit staring at the letter unmoving for a second. I wasn't ready for this! "DRACO! DRACO!" I yell scrambling out of my room. 

"What are you on about!" he shouts at me when he throws open his door. I can see he is a bit glassy eyed and notice a bottle of Mother's Sherry on the desk over his shoulder. Crabbe and Goyle are both a bit red faced and smiley. He notices me taking all this in and turns me by the chin so that I am facing him. "What do you want Delia." he says trying to sound stern like our Father.

"Umm... Father is coming home early, thought you ought to know." I look at him weakly. I had wanted to talk to him about my meeting with Father but I could see it was unwelcome right now. "You better get it together in there before he does, or I dare say it will be you standing in his office tonight and not me." I can hear scrambling and shouting in the room after Draco slams the door. Now I am angry with him and storm off back to my room to get my wits together.


	4. Chapter 4

"Dobby!" I call out as soon as I reach my bedroom.

With a pop he appears. "Can Dobby do something for Miss. Malfoy?" he asks.

"Yes Dobby! Do you know when Father is due back and what time he will be expecting us for dinner?" I ask him anxiously.

"Master will be expecting dinner at 7 pm sharp!" Dobby says very officially. "Master is wanting Sirloin Medallions with Truffle sauce and the 1914 Tenebrae Responsories Cabernet to be served at 7:20 exactly!" I can tell by his mumblings he is stressed over dinner service on such short notice "Thank you" I say, and dismiss him.

This gives me a little over two hours to shower, dress and collect my thoughts. I want to be sure to be perfectly dressed, with not a hair out of place this evening. I tell myself that I won't give Father any reason to find fault with me tonight and possibly sabotage my hopes for Hogwarts.

As I stand in the shower, hot water cascading down around me, I try to imagine what I must say to Father. I practice out loud in my empty bathroom, "It would be my honor to go to Hogwarts Father and I will do everything I can to bring respect and admiration to the Malfoy name." No, that's not right, he looks at me like a liability, he would never buy that. I try "I would be forever grateful if you would allow me to go to Hogwarts Father, and I will try to do everything I can to meet your approval." yes, in all honesty, that sounds a little more realistic and less likely to incure sarcasm. I can't believe my nerves.

I choose a black skirt that comes just below my knee, an emerald green silk blouse with silver buttons and the set of African Blackwood, emerald and diamond hair clips Mother gave me last Christmas. Once I am dressed with my hair finished I take one last turn at the mirror. I can't help but think to myself that I look exactly like a Slytherin dressed like this. Surely Father will give his approval. The clock on my desk shows that it is already 6:40 so I start to make my way to the dinning room.

The dining room is empty when I arrive, but I can see that the house elves have been busy making preparations. The candles are lit and the large silver chargers, house silver, green linens and crystal have all been set. I notice that the table has been set for five and not four. I wonder who Father's dinner guest will be and suddenly I am concerned about how this could affect my meeting. If he enjoys the company of his dinner guest he may not wish to cut his meal short to keep our meeting. If this guest is someone who displeases him, he might not be in a very generous mood. Whoever this guest was, I found myself wishing this person had not been invited tonight of all nights.

Mother arrives at the table seeming a little brighter than earlier. "Good evening Mother." I greet her.

She smiles at me and says "Good Evening, I see your Father has a dinner guest. I wonder who it will be?"

She and I both look over to see Draco entering the dinning room, he looks at me with cool grey eyes. I know its a warning not to say anything about the Sherry or the house guests. "Good Evening. Are we expecting a dinner guest?" he asks, looking at Mother and I.

"I was just commenting to your sister about it, I don't know who. I really hadn't even expected your father this evening, so its all a surprise to me." she says looking bemused.

Just then we could hear voices coming down the corridor, we all turned to see who our mystery guest was. Father walked in with Uncle Severus and I felt a bit of relief knowing our guest would most likely keep Father in decent spirits. "It ridiculous, Severus! All these raids....." Father cut himself short when he realized he was within earshot of the dining room.

"Good evening family." Father said with a smile. "Severus has been so kind as to join us this evening for diner."

"Nice to see you Professor." greeted Draco. He had taken to calling Uncle Severus "Professor" since he started at Hogwarts last year. I guess it wouldn't be wise to accidentally call your Potions Master "Uncle" in the middle of class. It still sounded funny to me.

"Good Evening God Father, so good to see you." I joined in.

"Severus! You have been such a stranger these few weeks. So glad to see you." Mother said looking genuinely please to see him.

"I have missed your company entirely Narcissa." Severus says with a playful smile. He is always so kind to Mother and she seems to be more present when he is here. They both enjoy discussions revolving around their cauldrons and Father finds their mutual interests amusing.

The house elves begin to serve the wine and appetizers and Uncle Severus says to Draco " I hope that you have been keeping up on your summer studies. Second year is much more challenging than First year."

"I have Proffessor." Draco lies, unconvincingly. My Brother has not done much more than sleep and hang out with his friends since coming home for the summer, no one would notice but me. On occasion Father will take Draco with him on business or to London for the day, but since the end of school term Father has been very busy with something secret. He hasn't really been paying as much attention to what's going on around the Manor as usual.

Dinner carries on and I can scarcely keep up with the conversation. None of it is actually directed at me anyways, which is a small blessing because so much of it is cryptic. I try to eat my meal, smiling and pretending to pay attention to what they are talking about, but not enough to seem nosey where I am not wanted. The wine glasses are being refilled and the dinner plates are being cleared before I realize that its already 8:30. I can only hope that we can get through desert and be dismissed from the table before the clock strikes 9. If not, I will have to wait another day or two before I can speak to Father.

"Lucius, dinner has been exceptional as usual but I really must be getting back to the school. We have student arriving in three weeks and there is so much to be done. I'm sure you've heard about the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor? Uncle rolls his eyes at Father.

Father let's out a small laugh, "That fool Dumbledore, making that school the Joke of the Wizarding world. I suppose he thinks hiring a celebrity professor will impress the Mudbloods." He says coolly. I hate when he uses that term, it cruel snobbery, but I don't dare comment.

The men get up and father escorts Uncle Severus to his office where he can apparate to Hogsmead and make his way back to Hogwarts. I quickly excuse myself seeing that it's already 8:55. I head straight to Fathers office and take a seat on the black leather upholstered bench outside the door. The large grandfather clock shows 8:58, two more minutes to go. Anytime Draco or I have a meeting with our father it takes place in his office. All meeting are to be exactly on time, no exceptions. As soon as the clock strikes 9, I walk over an knock on the large wooden door. I realize I am now holding my breath waiting for a reply. "Come in." I hear Father say and with a sweaty palm I reach up and turn the old brass doorknob and push the door open.

Father is seated across the large imposing room at his desk, he doesn't even look up as I enter the door. Head down, he is busily writing something on a piece of parchment. As I approach the desk, without looking away from his work he gestures to the two enormous black leather high back chairs across from him. "You may sit down." he says distractedly.

I wait for a moment, not wanting to interrupt his work. When he continues on as if I am not there I reach into my pocket and produce my Hogwarts letter. "Thank you for seeing me Father. I appreciate you taking time away from your busy schedule to speak with me. I received my Hogwarts letter." I interrupt tentatively.

He glances up at the letter and then at me, saying nothing. I can never read my father, he wears a perpetually serious expression no matter what the discussion. "I...I was hoping you might consider letting me attend this year Sir." I say meekly, suddenly feeling nauseous. He still says nothing, but stares at me cooly.

All my practicing earlier seems to have eluded me, I begin to fear that he has already decided to say no and is now just punishing me by making me go through this. "I know you have expressed a desire for me to remain at the Manor to learn more from Mother about how to manage a noble household. I'm confident I can keep up with my studies at school and work with Mother during holidays and summer break." I try to sound a little more confident. He leans back in his chair and continues to listen.

"I respect any decision you make Father. I want to do my very best to honor the family name, I promise to work very hard if you let me go." I can't think of anything else to say. I look at him hoping for the best and expecting the worst.

"While you make a decent argument for your case Delia, I have concerns regarding you leaving the Manor and being away from your mothers tutelage and my authority. Unlike Draco, you have little regard for family nobility and the standards and traditions of Purebloods. You would be an ambassador to our family if you were to attend. People will look to you and expect you to choose your associations carefully. They will expect you to behave with dignity, and I would expect you to do nothing to disgrace the name of Malfoy. I am not sure I can rely on you to do these things and I will not have our family disgraced by your weaknesses and disregard for our ways." His words are critical, I can feel myself struggling to keep it together.

"Please Father, I promise to do whatever you wish of me Sir. I will do my very best to honor you while I am in attendance. I will focus on my studies and behave appropriately, I will do anything you ask of me! Please just let me try." I can't maintain my complete composure any longer and a tear runs down my face.

He looks at me and I can see my emotions make him uncomfortable. "I have spoken to both your Mother and your Godfather. Severus has agreed to keep a very close eye on you in my absence and your mother is in agreement. You may attend Hogwarts this fall on a trial basis. Should you do anything, and I mean anything at all that angers me you will find yourself back here at Malfoy Manor for good. Any behavior corrections that need to be made in my absence will be administered by Severus and you will show him the same respect and obedience you would I." He says sternly. I can hardly believe his words, I am going to Hogwarts! 

Now I really can't keep my emotions together and the tears freely flow down my face. "Oh, Thank you so much Father, Thank you!" I sob

"I promise you won't be disappointed in me Sir, I will do my very best." I honesty wish I could hug Father but I don't dare. He may completely change his mind about everything if I can't even remain composed over this. 

"You may join your Mother, Brother and I on Wednesday to Diagon Alley to purchase your school supplies. Now, if there is nothing further you need to discuss with me I am very busy." Father says dismissively 

I excuse myself, thanking him again and race out of his office and to my room before he changes his mind. I wish I had someone to tell and share my joy with. I am tempted to knock on Draco's door and tell him, but I know he won't share in my excitement.


	5. Chapter 5

Wednesday couldn't have come soon enough, all I could think about was going to Diagon Alley to shop for my school things. I had to watch myself because I was often distracted by my own daydreaming. Once Draco found me looking over my supplies list for the millionth time and he barked, "I hope your not going to keep acting like this once we get to school! I wouldn't want everyone to think you're odd. It would be humiliating!". I brushed him off, I knew he was only parroting Father's tone.

Mother on the other hand seemed very excited for me and I realized that she had been secretly cheering for me regarding school and she just didn't want to be seen as siding with me over Father. She and I discussed all the thing new things I would be permitted to get for school. This included a new school wardrobe. for the first time in a long time, Mother is happy and smiling with me. She has even been telling me stories of her years at Hogwarts, some of which include Father. I have a hard time imagining Father being the charming and awkward young teen Mother refers to.

I wonder what my parents would have been like if The Dark Lord had never rose to power. They don't speak to me about it, but I have heard the comments over the years. Father was a Death Eater during the Dark Lords reign and from what I have gathered, he was a part of the Dark Lords inner circle. When The Dark Lord fell, many families like our were accused of unspeakable crimes. Some, like my Aunt Bella were even sent to Azkaban. Mother often fears for Father and that he could somehow end up in Azkaban too. It has been eleven years but the rumors of his return have gotten more common. The though of what this could mean for our family worries me and I hope it is nothing more than than gossip.

"Delia! We are leaving in 15 minutes! Draco! Lets go!" Mother shouted from downstairs. Father would apparate, but we would have to travel by Floo given our age. Father despised traveling by Floo if he could avoid it.

"Coming Mother!" I said as I walked out of my room. I had spent an hour getting ready this morning because I wanted to look perfect.

When I arrived downstairs Draco was already there looking like a miniature of Father. He smiled at me and said "You look very nice Delia." Both mother and I looked at him and then each other and smiled. Draco rarely complimented me, but he seemed to mean it today.

"Thank you Draco, you look very handsome yourself." I tell him with a grin. To an outsider you might even think we were a happy family in this moment, sharing smiles and excitement.

"Come children, we must not keep your father waiting." mother snaps us back into reality with her words. We make out way to the drawing room and take turns entering the large fire place. Draco goes first and then it is my turn. I walk into the empty fireplace, take the Floo powder from mother and drop it saying "Diagon Alley!"and the green flames reach up and surround me. I feel my stomach lurch a bit and my feet have nothing to hold onto. I see fireplaces passing me by and with a crash I come tumbling out of the hearth at The Leaky Cauldron.

"Good grief Delia! Lucky Father didn't see that!" he laughs. Mother comes out right after me like it was nothing. She pulls out her wand and quickly casts a charm to remove the soot clinging to our clothes and hair.

We make our way out to the shops, keeping an eye out for Father. "He's over there Mother." Draco points to Ollivanders. Father is standing outside the shop with unfriendly looking wizard named Igor Karkaroff. He is headmaster at Durmstrang, a boys school that Father often threatens to send Draco to when he was angry. Seeing him spoils the mood a little because he reminds Mother of Aunt Bella. Karkaroff was sentenced Azkaban but was able to secure his release because he named other Death Eaters, some of whom were Mother and Fathers friends.

When he sees us, Father waves Karkaroff away and steps towards Mother. "Narcissa, would you ladies like to do your shopping while Draco and I attend to some business? We can meet you at Flourish and Blots when you're finished." I can see Mother isn't thrilled with his suggestion. The idea of Draco accompanying our Father for whatever business he had to attend to worries her, but the reality is that neither Draco or Father would survive a few hours of shopping with us.

"Sounds like a good plan Lucius." mother gives him a smile as she takes my hand and we walk towards the entrance of Ollivanders.

Walking into the dusty old shop I am amazed that every wall, shelf and surface is stacked high with wand boxes. There must be hundreds of thousands of them in here. "Ah, Mrs. Malfoy! Good to see you, good to see you." Mr. Ollivander gestures us closer to the counter. "This must be young Delia." he smiles and begins digging through boxes.

"Lets see, lets see." he says distracted by his thoughts. He opens the first box and hands we the wand. "Cypress with Pheonix Feather, very sturdy."

It instantly starts hissing and sputtering in my hand, shooting of green sparks and smelling of burnt hair. "No! Absolutely not!" he says, taking the wand from me.

Mr Ollivander rummages through a few more boxes before returning with another want. "Holly with Dragon Heartstring, very swishy." he announces handing it to me and taking a few steps back. When nothing happens while I am holding it, Mr Ollivander suggests giving it a wave. It instantly lets of a warm glow that fills the room and lets out a low humming vibration that can be heard and felt through the room. Not sure what to make of it, I place the wand back on the counter. Mr Ollivander smiles at me patiently and says "I think this wand has chosen its witch."

Mother seems pleased by all of this and as soon as my wand is packaged up we head for Madam Malkin's for my robes. The old seamstress witch smiled as we entered and motioned for me to stand on the stool in the middle of the room. while she was busy talking to mother an enchanted measuring tape was taking all of my measurements and dictating them to an enchanted quill and parchment. "Do please see that her robes are exceptional Madam Malkin." I over hear mother telling the old witch, "She is my only daughter and I want her to have the finest clothing of all the girls in her year." I feel that its a little snobbish of Mother but I am enjoying the attention and don't want to sour her mood.

We are at Madam Malkin's for over an hour because Mother orders me new shoes, boots, dresses, sweaters, you name it. If I might possibly have need of an article of clothing over term Mother has ordered it. Madam Malkin's is quite happy to attend to Mothers every whim and its not long before I have to remind her that we are to meet Father and Draco soon. Madam Malkin continues to gush over Mother as we make our way out the door while assuring her that all of my new clothing will be delivered to the Manor by next Monday.

As we approach the entrance of Flourish and Blotts I see a large portrait of a smiling Gilderoy Lockhart. I picked up one of his books last year at the train station when we took Draco to go to Hogwarts. It was called Holidays with Hags and I adored it. So much adventure and whit, not to mention the dashing wizard on the front cover. Father found it when I accidentally left it in the drawing room and said it was nonsense and forbade me to read anymore of them. I hated to think how he must feel about buying the whole lot this year as part of our school curriculum. I had enough sense not to bring it up.

I followed Mother into the shop and we were greeted with an unpleasant scene. Father and Draco seemed to be having some strained words with another family. I could see Father holding out a handful of battered books mocking the man and his children. Suddenly the red haired father shoves Father into a book shelf and the two men start having at it. Mother and I stand horrified watching this all unfold, not knowing what to do. Thankful a very large man with a bushy beard pulls them apart. Father angrily shoves the books he was brandishing earlier into the cauldron of a small red haired girl who looks to be my age and spins around to storm out of the shop. I see my brother lean in and say something menacing to one of the red headed boys and his friends and then turn to follow Father. "Get Delia's books quickly so we can be going!" Father snaps at Mother as walks out the door. Just like that, my perfect day was over. Mother was a bundle of nerves again fumbling around with my book list and I was realizing I would be walking on eggshells around Father for the next few days.


	6. Chapter 6

The last week has been filled with packing and planning. All of the beautiful clothing Mother purchased for me had arrived and stowed away in my trunks along with my school supplies. Dobby is fretful about this whole thing. "Miss Malfoy should stay at the Manor. Hogwarts is no place for a young lady like Miss Malfoy." he is constantly trying to come up with reasons as to why I shouldn't go away. I love Dobby very much but he is being ridiculous. He even tried telling me that it's not safe at Hogwarts. Hogwarts is one of the most secure locations is all of the Wizarding world, he is just grasping at straws. I am flattered that he wants to keep me near but all I can do is reassure him that I will see him when I come home for Christmas.

Father bought Draco a new Nimbus 2001 the day we were at Diagon Alley, and he has been flying around the Manor non stop since. He wants to impress Father by becoming the new Seeker on the Slytherin House Quidditch team. I really hope he is able to join the team, I know he will be humiliated to tell Father if he is unsuccessful. Sometimes I realize that in many ways I am fortunate that Father takes less interest in me. Draco is constantly trying live up to Fathers expectations and disappointing our Father can have seriously unpleasant consequences.

I survey my room and try to come to terms with the fact that I am actually leaving till December. I have spent years imagining this day and now that it's here, I'm nervous. I feel so much excitement but I am also worried. My entire existence has been maintained within these walls and now suddenly I am unbound by them. If anything at all goes wrong, I could end up back here for what would feel like forever. For far too many years this home has been my prison, I pray I won't be forced to return to Malfoy Manor against my wishes. 

I hear my brother in the corridor, with all of his luggage banging down the stairs. We are all to leave for Kings Cross Station directly after breakfast. One last glance tells me I have forgotten nothing and I head down to breakfast. 

When I arrive for breakfast, I am not late but Mother and Father are both already seated and sipping their morning coffee. "Good Morning!" I chime.

Mother smiles and I can see her happiness for me. Father has his usual business face on, defiantly not going to show any emotion about Draco and I leaving. I suddenly feel a pang of guilt, I realize Mother will be completely alone with us both gone. I am not kidding myself about that. She has been incredibly disconnected from us for years but, for her, we were still there. However little our presence was felt by her in these passing few years, we still lived within these wall along side of her. Now, for the first time since my birth I was leaving, and I was happy to be set free from this place.


	7. Chapter 7

I have never really been around many Muggles before, so I am completely engrossed in their behaviors and attire at the train station. "Stop staring Delia." Father hissed. They are completely fascinating though, and I can't help myself.

We make our way to Platform 9 3/4 and Draco tells me, "Don't be nervous just walk quickly between the barrier and you'll come straight through. I'll go before you and wait on the other side." He gives me an encouraging smile and than disappears between the barrier. How do these Muggles not even notice? 

When it's my turn I take a deep breath and hold on tightly to the handle of my trolly. I walk quickly at the barrier like Draco said but at the last minute, expecting to crash into it, I close my eyes. I don't crash into it though, and when I open my eyes I am on the platform and Draco is standing there grinning at me. "Come on then, we want to board soon before all of the good seats are taken." he says pushing me along.

I can see Mother and Father ahead of us talking to Mr. Flint, Marcus's father. I don't like Marcus, he is mean and he's full of himself. I have had the misfortune of meeting him on occasion when his parent have visited the Manor. He's is the Slytherin Quidditch Captain and I suspect Father is attempting to secure Draco a position on the house team. 

Draco shows me where to drop off my trunks and we go over to say goodbye to our parents. I look at Mother and she is smiling at me, but I can see a tear in her eye. "I'm going to miss you Mother." I tell her and then I feel my own eyes well up a bit. I throw my arms around her and hug her. I am surprised at how fiercely she hugs me back. 

"I am going to miss you too my darling." she tells me with more love in her voice than I have heard in a long time. I step back from her and I can see by Fathers expression that he does not approve of such a display of emotion in public and I quickly straighten myself up.

"Good bye Father. I promise I will work very hard this year, thank you for letting me go." I tell him. I don't know what else to say to my Father and now I am anxious for the good byes to be over so I can put distance between him and I.

"Well, see to it that you conduct yourself accordingly and remember that you Godfather will be watching your every move and reporting back to me." he says warning me. "It is nothing for me to come to Hogwarts and deal with you myself if need be." Leave it to Father to turn what could have been a warm family moment into a reminder of his authority.

"Come on Delia! We need to go find seats!" Draco says impatiently. I know he's really just trying to save me from Fathers intimidations. "Good bye Mother. Good bye Father. See you at Christmas." taking me by the arm, he heads us both towards the train.

The train is already getting pretty full, but Draco's friends have saved us seats. I realize when I see them that I am not entirely looking forward to spending the long train ride with Gregory Goyle, Pansy Parkinson and Vincent Crabbe. I take the seat closest to the window so that I can distract myself from their conversations. 

Just as the train starts moving Draco hands me a large green box he carried onto the train with him. "What?" I ask, not knowing why he has handed it to me.

"Its for you. I wanted to get you something for school but I didn't want Father to see. I was afraid he might say no if he did." he says sheepishly.

"Awe Draco! Did you get your little sister a prezzie!" Pansy Teases him and I can see Draco blush.

"Well, come on then! Open it already!" he says nodding his head anxiously.

I careful open the box waiting for something to jump out of me. I am half expecting to be some sort of prank. When I pull back the top of the box a small tabby cat with most beautiful green eyes hops out. She jumps up on my lap and starts to purr, rubbing her sweet little face in the crook of my arm. I am instantly smitten with her, never in my entire life has anyone given me a gift like this. I can see why Draco didn't want father to see him giving her to me.

"Oh Draco!" I start sobbing, I am so overwhelmed by my brothers gift. "I love her! I love her so much Draco! Thank you!" I sob.

Pansy smirks at Crabbe and Goyle, and I can see Draco blush a little in embarrassment. "Just be sure to look after her." he says trying to brush the whole thing off. 

"I will! I promise!" I hug him. I can feel how completely embarrassed he is now by his stiffness, but I hug him anyway.

I have always wanted a cat. I asked Mother a few years ago if I could have one. She said she would speak to Father and he of course said no. I decided to name her Esme and Draco said it suited her.

Pansy began complaining that Crabbe ate all of her Jelly slugs and sent him out to find the snack cart witch. "You just sat there and stuffed you gob with my sweets you big lump! Go fetch me a new pack before I turn you into a jelly slug!" she barked and threw the empty package at him as he walked out the cabin and into the hallway to find the old witch. 

He wasn't gone long before he came back with Pansy's candies. "You'll never guess what I heard." He says with a creepy smile. "Potter isn't on the train and niether is his red-haired sidekick Weasley. Do you think he was too much of a coward to come back this year?" 

"We saw them shopping for school things a few weeks ago at Diagon Alley." Draco says gesturing to me. "Maybe Weasley's parents couldn't afford to send the whole heard this year and he and Potter decided to run off together. I'm sure Potter couldn't last a day with out his ickle pal Weaslebee." The four of the burst into laughter. 

They spend the rest of the trip mocking Harry Potter and his friends. I hadn't realize it was Harry Potter that day at Floursh and Blotts and I wonder why my brother and his friends seem to have it in for him. Even my Father seems bothered by the existence of the bespectacled boy with dark hair sticking up in all directions. He really looked rather ordinary to me. I definitely would not have thought him capable of defeating the Dark Lord as a small baby.


	8. Chapter 8

It was night by the time we arrived at Hogwarts and we all filed off the train at once. I began to follow Draco towards the carriages but he said "Your a First Year, First Years go by boat to the sorting." He pointed to the same large rough looking man who pulled Mr. Weasley and Father apart that day at the bookstore.

"First Year! First Years this way!" The large man called out.

I follow him and the other First Years down to the lake where we are put on small boats that glided across the lake towards the beautifully illuminated castle. I am finally here! It wasn't all a dream and I am going to live here with all of these other children while we learn our craft. I am so happy I could nearly cry. Esme senses my emotional wobble and nuzzles me around the neck with her head. I think this might be the greatest day of my life.

After the boats dock themselves along the stone wall, we all disembark and begin to make our way towards the Great Hall. Esme goes off to prowl for a bit and investigate our new surroundings. I don't blame her, I am anxious to do the same. 

Inside the enormous room there are four very long tables, one for each house. I see Draco sitting with his friends at the Slytherin table and I notice he has left a space for me. As we all walk to the front of the room to be sorted I am overwhelmed by how beautiful the enchanted ceiling looks with the candles floating high above the tables. The ceiling is a perfect nights sky. Hogwarts is Magnificent, I can't wait to see it all.

Soon its my turn to be sorted and I am glad because I am anxious to sit with my brother and I am starving. I walk up the steps to the landing and sit on the stool like all the other children before me. A serious witch who introduced herself as Professor McGonagall places the old hat on my head. At first nothing happens but then the Sorting had starts to speak to me. "Hmmmm a Malfoy, but not like a Malfoy. loyalty and bravery are strong in you, and there is a kindness, but where to put you? Gryffindor!" the hat shouts out and I sit there frozen, unsure what to do. 

Professor McGonagall takes the hat and looks nearly as surprised as I am. "mistake." is all I can mutter.

"No mistake Miss Malfoy, go take a seat with your house." she tells me and guides me back towards the steps. I look across the room and I can see Draco, he looks absolutely horrified and then it hits me. My Father is going to be furious. He's going to say I have shamed him and he's going to punish me for this. I only hope that punishment doesn't include returning home. 

I sit next to another First Year girl at the Gryffindor table and try not to cry, I am in so much trouble for this. The only other member of our family to not be in Slytherin was my Mothers sister Andromeda and she was disowned by the entire Black family.

The rest of the night is difficult. I am no longer hungry, as a matter of fact I feel very much like throwing up now. The girl sitting next to me introduces herself as "Ginny" she is friendly and doing he best to make me feel more at ease. I am not really up for much chit chat and am relieved when the last of the food disappears and we are excused to go to our houses. I follow the other Gryffindors through the corridors and up the staircases till we get to the Portrait of a very large lady in a pink dress. "Password" she prompts. 

"Caput Draconis" the Head Boy announces and the large portrait swings away from the wall, reveling the entrance to Gryffindor House. "Be sure to remember the password or she won't let you in!" the boy says officially.

The Common Room is decorated in red and gold and looks very inviting, you would never find such a cheerful room at Malfoy Manor. I can't even enjoy it though, I just want to make my way to my room and go to sleep, maybe I will wake up in Slytherin and this will have all been a mistake. 

I head up the stone staircase leading to the girls dormitories, I just want to find Esme and be alone. "Harry! Ron! How did you two get here? I have been so worried!" shouts a girl with wild brown hair. I turn around to see who she's talking about, its Harry Potter. Standing next to him is his friend Ron and I realize that Ginny is Ron's sister and they were the people Father had the disagreement with that day at Flourish and Blotts. Things have gone from horribly wrong to horrific. Not only am I not in Slytherin, I am in the same house as Harry Potter and the Weasley's. I can't take it anymore and head upstairs. I find Esme sleeping on the bed where my trunks have been left, I throw myself on the bed beside her and start crying. How could this happen to me? I never even considered the thought of not being in Slytherin, what will Father do when he finds out? This may be my first and last night at Hogwarts.


	9. Chapter 9

I wake up to Esme purring and my face with hers, surprisingly I slept through the night. I throw back my blankets and notice that my things have already been unpacked by the house elves. They even left red and gold bowls filled with water and cat food for Esme in the corner of the room. I don't know what to expect from today but I decide I need to go and speak with Draco before Breakfast. I take a quick shower and change into my school uniform. 

Nobody is awake yet and the Gryffindor Common room is deserted. I quietly tiptoe down the stairs and out the door into the corridor. It dawns on me that I don't even really know where to go to find him. I turn to my left and hope for the best, Esme trailing behind me. The halls are empty, so there is nobody for me to ask for direction. When I come to a another hallway I'm not sure which way to go, I fell foolish now. If I end up getting lost... I thought about the stories Draco told about the strange rooms in the castle and remembered reading things in "Hogwarts, a History" that sudden caused me to stop. I didn't know where to go.

Esme continues down the hall, she stops when I don't follow and lets out a loud meow. When I don't move she meows again. I decide that if she found her way through the castle last night on her own that I would be better following her than trying to find my own way.

After about 10 minutes things start to look familiar and soon we are in the Great Hall. There are a few people here having coffee or juice and reading. I sit at the Gryffindor table alone and pour myself some tea. "Delia." a familiar voice says behind me. I turn around around to see the worried face of my brother. I jump up and hug him crying.

"Oh Draco, what am I going to do! Father is going to kill me." I sob into his shoulder. I am so grateful he allows me to hold on to him for a while longer before facing me.

"I don't know Delia, he is really going to be angry. Have you spoken to Professor Snape? Maybe they can move you to Slytherin? Snape's head of Slytherin, he could do something." Draco suggests.

I don't know what to expect today, but I am sure I will be hearing from my Father. More students have begun to file into the hall and the food appears on the table. I am suddenly reminded by my stomach that I didn't eat anything last night. 

"I need to go to the Slytherin table, sit down and try to eat something. When we are done eating we can go for a walk and talk a little before class, keep your eyes out for Snape too." he's trying keep me from getting emotional again.

The food smell delicious and my hunger is convincing me to eat. I turn around and sit back down in my seat. I place a large warm carrot muffin on my plate and cut it in half. As I am buttering one side Ginny sits down next to me again. "Hi." she says tenderly. "Are you feeling a bit better today?"

"I'm fine thanks." I tell her, not really wanting to encourage conversation right now. 

"You''ll like Gryffindor, you'll see. It a great house, lots of fun." I want to tell her to go away, but there is so much concern on her face and when I think back to how my father treated them in the book store I don't have the heart to be mean to her. How can she be so nice to me after the way my Father behaved towards them. I'm ashamed my Father and Brothers snobbery.

I've eaten my muffin and started on some berries when I hear Professor McGonagall behind me speaking my name. "Delia Malfoy, you're wanted in Professor Dumbledore's office dear." she tells me a worried look on her face. Maybe they have realized their mistake and I am being put in Slytherin, or maybe worse. Maybe I am in some sort of trouble. The look on her face didn't look like someone who needed to clear up a simple sorting error, this can't be good.

As I get up from my seat to follow McGonagall out of the Great Hall, I see Draco across the room watching with a concern. I shrug my shoulders to let him know that I don't know what's going on and leave the room. We walk through several corridors until we reach a large alcove with an enormous Phoenix statue. Professor McGonagall motions for me to enter the alcove with her. She then pulls out her wand and says "Sherbet Lemon" The statue and the floor it stands on begins to turn and move upward. In a few seconds we are standing outside of Dumbledore's office.

Professor McGonagall knocks on the door to announce our presence and it magically opens to reveal that not only is Professor Dumbledore waiting for us, but he is also accompanied by my Godfather and Father. The outrage on my Father's face is so evident that I can't help but look away.

"This is unacceptable Dumbledore! I won't have this!" My Father bellows.

"Lucius, the sorting hats decision is binding. I simply cannot put your daughter in another house because you want me to." Dumbledore tells him

"Then she will be going home immediately! I won't allow her to stay if you feel you can't correct this enormous mistake!" Father says even angrier. He grabs my arm tightly and turns me toward him. "You will go collect your things and I will deal with you at home." he warns me. His grip on my arm is painful but I know better than to show it. 

"Surely you're not going to punish this child because she wasn't sorted into your house of choice Mr. Malfoy?" Professor McGonagall stunned by Fathers assertion. 

"How I attend to my daughters failures are none of your affair Professor." Father hisses at McGonagall. The anger in him brewing by the second. 

"Lucius, perhaps we can address your concerns without removing Delia from school?" Uncle Severus asks. "While we can't remove her from Gryffindor, perhaps we can work on her schedule to ensure she is where you want her to be during the day?"

"Let us work with you Lucius." Dumbledore asks, "I know your main concern is your daughters welfare after all." I know by the tone in Dumbledore's voice that he doesn't actually believe that but it more of a warning.

The arguing carries on for a few more minute. Father self righteous indignation dominates the conversation but Uncle Severus and Professor Dumbledore give in to enough of his demands that father agrees to allow me to stay on trial, warning that if I should do anything at all that he find concerning I will be sent straight home. 

I am relieved that I am staying, I could have lost Esme and Hogwarts today, it would have been unbearable. I realize that the first nail my coffin has been struck and that Father is probably regretting ever letting me come here and looking for any reason to bring me home. I don't think I could survive there now if I was forced to return. I make up my mind that should I be sent back to Malfoy Manor that I will run away. Living alone in the Forbidden Forest would be less frightening than returning to Malfoy Manor now.

Once Father has been appeased to his satisfaction we all get up to leave. "Severus, might I use your office to have a word with my daughter?" father says cooly as we are making our way to the Phoenix statue.

"Of course Lucius, of course." uncle Severus tells him. I can feel all of the blood run from my face and the muffin I ate for breakfast suddenly feels like a brick. I know what this means, I know that Father wants to make sure that I suffer for the shame I have brought him. 

We make our may to Professor's Snape's office and I feel my palms begin to sweat and my heart pounding louder and louder as we approach our destination. Snape opens the door and motions us in, I don't dare walk past Father right now, so I wait for him to enter before I follow him in.

Once the door closes behind us, Fathers composed façade is gone and his anger boils to the surface. "I warned you! I warned you that if you did anything at all to displease me there would be consequences, DIDN'T I!" he yells in my face. I try to prepare myself for what's to come.

"Yes sir." I say meekly and begin to cry. Before I see it coming Father strikes me across the face with the back of his hand hard enough to knock me to the ground. Pain explodes through my head and I can taste the metallic taste of blood in my mouth. I sit on the floor afraid to move, I can still hear Father yelling but my ear is ringing loudly.

"You will learn to obey Delia, you will learn or you will spend the rest of your childhood locked away in the Manor! GET UP!" He screams and I scramble to my feet. I can see Snape's face is an expression of total shock. While he has seen Father strike me before, he has never seen him this violent. Grabbing the back of my collar Father begins to drag me to the large upolsterd chair in the corner reading nook. 

Standing me in front of the arm rest he snaps his fingers, in his hand appears a thin wooden cane. "Lucius, stop this!" Professor Snape shouts.

"This is none of your business Severus!" Father yells at him. 

"Bend over." he says to me through gritted teeth, pushing me over the armrest. I grab on to the opposite one to have something to hold onto. I am already crying as Father pulls back my skirt to expose my bare legs. I hear the cane swish through the air a second before it lands across my backside with a searing pain. I scream even though I know it will just make him angrier because I can't control myself. Over and over I hear the cane cut through the air before landing with crack across my legs and bottom, the pain is unbelievable. 

He finally stops swinging the cane and yanks me back on my feet. Grabbing me by the neck of my shirt he pulls me closer so that he is right in my face. "You better hope I don't have reason to come back to this school because of you Cordelia Malfoy, or I promise you this whipping will seem like a walk in the park compared to what you'll receive if I do!" he threatens before letting go of my shirt.

He leaves the cane on Snape's desk and turns to look at him. "You my friend had better get familiar with how to use that. It will be your responsibility to in my absence, and if I can't rely on you I will take her home where I can deal with her myself." Snape just stares at Father without saying a word, mouth half open. I don't think he even knows how to respond.

Father turns and walks smoothly out of the room as if nothing had even happened. "You can have a few minutes to compose yourself before heading to class Delia." is all my Godfather can say.


	10. Chapter 10

It takes me some time before I can leave Professor Snape's office. My eyes are puffy and red and my face is tear stained and red. I head to the girls lavatory to wash my face and fix my hair a little. I don't know how I am going to be able to sit in class, I am in so much pain. I'm embarrassed to go to class like this but I am afraid of what could happen if I get into anymore trouble. 

I quietly walk into Transfiguration class, Professor McGonagall looks up as I come in and I sneak into a seat in the back of class. I can't focus on the lesson and when Professor McGonagall asks me to stay after class I almost start to cry, fearing I am now in trouble again for my tardiness.

I stay in my seat as the rest of the class filters out. Once they are all gone McGonagall waves the door closed with her wand and walks over to my seat, her normally stern expression softens. "Are you alright Delia." I hold back my tears and nod yes with my eyes on the ground. I'm afraid if I look at her I'll cry. "You can tell me if you if you're not alright, I'm here if you need me." she pats me gently on my shoulder and lets me leave the classroom.

It's lunch and I make my way to the Great Hall, scanning the room for Draco. He sees me and comes running over. "What happened?" he asks pleadingly. I tell him the whole story, about Father threatening to take me home and beating me in front of Professor Snape. I can see the sadness and anger in Draco's face.

"Father has no right to treat you this way just because you're not in Slytherin Delia! You have no control over where that ratty old hat sorts you!" I put my hand on his arm to try and calm him down. I don't want anyone hearing what we are talking about, I am ashamed enough as it is.

"The one good thing Draco is that its over and Father isn't making me leave." Saying out loud makes me realize how relieved I am that I am being allowed to stay. The thought of going home with Father tonight where there are no witnesses makes me shudder. If things were bad this morning they would have been ten times worse if he had been able to take me home. 

Draco hugs me tightly, "I'm glad he's letting you stay Delia, I love you." In all of my years I think this is the first time my brother has ever said this to me. I feel a little overwhelmed, I love him so much right now and I don't want to embarrass him.

"I love you too Draco." I tell him. "We had better rejoin our houses and eat something before anyone else looks at us." I am suddenly aware how many kids are looking at us and I know my brother does not exactly have a reputation for being affectionate. We let go of each other and rejoin our tables.

I realize that I am suddenly feeling very buoyant. The last 24 hours have left me feeling all sorts of worry and fear, now that I have faced Father and know I am staying I feel a renewed sense. Suddenly I am looking forward again, not fearing anything but looking forward to my life here again. I walk towards the Gryffindor tables and I see Ginny sitting with an empty seat to her left. I sit down and smile at her. "Hi Ginny, how was your first few classes?" I ask her with a smile.


	11. Chapter 11

My first class after lunch was Potions, while I dreaded seeing my God Father right now I was ready to move forward with my Hogwarts life and decided to put the mornings events behind me. I was fortunate to find Ginny as my lab partner. I could see the disapproving look on Uncle Severus's face but I decided I didn't care. Ginny was kind and friendly, I was already labeled a Gryffindor so I might as well embrace the ones that didn't look at me like a Malfoy.

Class was full of threats and warnings about behavior and commitment. I had already scanned our assigned text, Magical Drafts and Potions, and having grown up with "Professor Snape" and my mother, none of this looks too daunting to me. I noticed several of the first years looked completely beside themselves with fright during our introduction and I had to stifle a smile. I didn't find Uncle Severus as frightening as they did. I knew I needed to keep that to myself, but his ability to terrorize an entire class of 11 year olds with a few words and warnings was quite amusing.

I didn't have another class for the rest of the day, so when Potions was finished I decided to go check out the Hogwarts Library. It was enormous in comparison to our Library at home and I had to contain my excitement over the idea of having all of these books at my finger tips. Rows and rows of books on every subject know to the wizarding world. There is even a restricted section of books that can only be checked out with the approval of a teacher. I recognize some of the titles from our own library but I still find it all very exciting. 

As I am scanning my way through the rows of shelves I see Hermione, I don't think she likes me and it really irritates me. Here she is a Muggle born, and probably used to all of the preconceived, notions of purebloods, yet she judges my on my last name. She acts like she doesn't, but she isn't very good at hiding her feelings. I know when she looks at me she sees my father and my brother, she doesn't even give the idea of getting to know me a chance. She reminds me that even though I am hopeful of having friends and the house "family" that professor McGonagall mentions, there will always be those who judge me for being a Malfoy.

Seeing her kind of spoils my mood and I decide to find Esme and make my way back to the Gryffindor common room till dinner. Draco still has a few classes and suddenly I need to be around someone who actually likes me. I hate how little control I have about the way people feel about me. My Father is constantly furious with me because I am not enough like him and I am not completely obedient like a pureblood daughter should be. People outside my family don't trust me because I am a Malfoy, and the daughter of a Death Eater. A part of me can't wait to grow up and leave this life. 

I find my way back to the common room and go up to my dormitory for some peace. Esme is sleeping soundly on my bed and seeing her suddenly makes me feel a little emotional. I had such high expectations about Hogwarts, but in the last 24 hours I have infuriated my father and put myself in a house that has left distance between my brother and I. I am surrounded by people with a preconceived idea of me and all I was expecting when I got here was freedom from Father and the chance to make a friend. Both dreams dashed on my first day.

I start to cry, I can't handle all of this. I am as alone as ever and I am so saddened by the direction things have taken. Suddenly with a pop Dobby appears. "Dobby heard of Master's visit and Dobby wanted to be sure Miss was ok." that's it, my composure is completely gone and I wrap my arms around my sweet house else and thank God that house elves can apparate inside Hogwarts because he may be all that I've got.


	12. Chapter 12

The first few weeks of school have gone by without much more incident. I really haven't made many friends, so many of the kids in my house look at me with disdain. I hear them say "Malfoy" and then privately continue their conversations while looking at me. I am thankful for Esme, she is so affectionate and seems to realize when I really need her.

Ginny has also been a sanctuary for me. She seems to understand some of the pureblood issues that the other Gryffindors don't. I breakdown and confide in her my fear of being sent home. She tries to reassure me that I am ok, that my Mother and Father would be looked down on by withdrawing me, but I don't have the bravery to tell her that I am scared of my father and what he might do. 

We become closer, sharing our secrets and living in the shadow of our brothers. Ginny becomes like a sister to me and we do everything together. I know my God Father doesn't approve of Ginny and I becoming best friends but I remind myself constantly that the Weasleys are Pureblood, so that Father can't take it away from me. I can see that Professor Snape doesn't approve, but he knows that he can't deny their status and thus, I should be allowed to be friends with Ginny. 

Draco is very vocal about it though. I know his heart is trying to protect me from Father, but the things he says drives a wedge between us. "The Weasley's are blood traitors and peasants Delia!" he shouts at me one afternoon. I become so angry with him that I point my wand at him. I have never pointed my wand at anyone, let alone my brother. His anger is not subtle, I know it was a mistake, but he had me in a corner.

It was a few weeks into first term when everyone started getting Quidditch fever. All of the houses were selecting their teams and I knew Draco was trying out for Slytherin. I had high hopes for him, I knew it was important to him. The day after tryouts Draco told me he was to be the new seeker. I was very excited for him, but I was also a little surprised. Don't get me wrong, my brother was very adept on a broom and he knew Quidditch inside and out. I was just a little surprised that he was seated for such an important position his first year. 

None the less, I was very excited for him and looked forward to seeing him play. I skipped breakfast to watch him on the pitch the first morning they had practice. I was a little early, and when I arrived the Gryffindor team was already practicing. I stood back to watch only to see Slytherin arrive and conflict ensue.

Apparently Professor Snape had given the Slytherin team written approval to practice this morning to teach Draco the position of seeker. Ginny and I ran down to the pitch when we saw things were not very friendly. Oliver Woods was busy asking Marcus Flint who their new team member was when we arrived and Draco was none too quick to flaunt his new stats as seeker. It didn't take long for the Gryffindors to see that the entire Slytherin team had new brooms too. Flint was quick to tell Woods that hey were a gift from our Father to Draco's team. 

Several of the Gryffindors looked at me with daggers in their eyes, and Hermione piped up quickly. "At least none of the Gryffindors bribed their way in! They got in on pure talent!" She balked. I wanted to slap her. Yes, I knew father had used those new brooms to ensure Draco's seat on the team, but I had also watched my brother practice all summer around the manor. I knew how hard he had worked and I resented her thinking Draco lacked the talent to be on the team.

Draco's anger and arrogance flooded the conversation and he turned on Hermione and snapped "Nobody asked you opinion, you filthy little mud blood!"

I was horrified at what he said, she looked completely shamed and I was embarrassed for her. It doesn't get much more insulting that that. Ron Weasley was so angry with Draco that he pulled out his wand and tried to curse Draco for making such a horrible comment. It blew up in his face though, as he had broken his wand the first day of term. Instead of cursing Draco when he shouted "Eat Slugs!", it rebounded on him and the next thing we all knew Ron was vomiting slugs left and right. 

Draco and the rest of the Slytherin's all laughed hysterically at Ron's misfortune. Draco eyes me accusingly, like I am somehow betraying him right now for being a Gryffindor. Ron, Hermione and Harry get up to take Ron to Hagrid in hopes of quelling the slugs and Ginny looks at me with conflict. "I have to go." she mumbles as she gets up and leaves. I know she doesn't want me to go with her because of what just happened between our brothers. She is the only friend I really have, so it stings.

I don't even want to watch Draco now, I don't know why he has to be so mean sometimes. I know he has heard our Father speak like that a million times, but that doesn't mean he has to be Father.


	13. Chapter 13

After all the ruffled feathers on the Quidditch pitch this morning I felt like hiding. I knew both Draco and Ginny were feeling I had somehow betrayed them this morning. Even though I had done nothing but be present during the squabble. The fact that I didn't take a side was the problem. As this continued to replay over and over in my head during the day I found myself becoming angry with them.

It was Saturday, so at least I didn't have to deal with classes. I decide to go to the Library to get some books for my own entertainment. The library was fairly empty due to the fact it was the early in term and I was able to secure a large cozy chair in a quiet corner and snuggle up with my book, leaving the stresses of my mind for "The Adventures of Zaladious Drinkle". I don't even realize that I have read most of the day away till I look up and see the sun going down through the large windows. 

My stomach growls, reminding me I have missed lunch, and I decided to pack up and make my way to the common room before heading down to dinner. When I reach the common room I see Ron and Hermione playing a game of Exploding Snap at one of the large tables. The room is bustling with students, all playing various games or simply enjoying conversation. At quick glance I don't see Ginny and I hope that means she is upstairs in our dorm. I really want a chance to speak to her about this morning. I don't feel like I should have had to take anyones side in the matter but I desperately want to clear the air between us. Spending the entire day without speaking to her has really been tough.

I reach the dorm and the only soul there is Esme. She is curled up on my bed, but raises her head and lets out a welcoming meow before stretching luxuriously and going back to sleep. Oh to be a cat, hardly a care in the world. I am disappointed that Ginny isn't up here but I am hopeful she has also felt my absence and maybe at dinner she will talk to me. After putting away my books I rummage through my wardrobe for a jersey, the castle gets a bit chilly in the evening and I want to go down to the Great Hall early incase I find Ginny.

Ginny is nowhere to be seen. She doesn't come to dinner at all and now I am worried. Maybe she is angrier than I thought. When the meal is nearly finished and there is no sign of her I ask Lavender Brown if she has seen Ginny since this morning. "No, I haven't." is all she says and looks back to Parvati to finish the conversation I had interrupted. I give up and leave the Great Hall to look for her. I want to speak to Draco too, so I dilly dally near the exit waiting for them. I see my brother leaving and try to follow him. There is a lot of conversation after I exit and it suddenly turns into a row when we turn the corner and reality becomes clear. Emblazon on the wall, in blood is written "The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the Heir... Beware!" 

Draco is there and reads it out loud. " You'll be next Moodbloods!" He's shouts, looking at Hermione.

"Shut up Draco!" I shout at him. The look he fires at me is vile. 

"You had better watch your mouth Cordelia, or I will send Father an owl. I'm sure you don't want him knowing who you hang out with!" 

Our eyes lock in venom, I want to hurt him right now but I'm not used to being this angry with him and I know he holds all the cards. Suddenly I see Ginny in the crowd, she looks really worried and on the verge of tears. " Ginny, are you ok." I ask her. She hears my voice and looks in my direction but she makes no reply. I can see fear in her face, but I don't know what to make of it. As I make my way closer to her, her eyes finally focus. "Ginny! What's wrong?!". She looks at me, I see tears in her eyes, she looks really confused. I don't know what's wrong, but I can see she needs me, I don't know what it is, I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her. "It's Ok, Ginny, it's ok.".


	14. Chapter 14

Ginny wasn't herself after the words appeared on the wall. I wasn't sure if the message or the sight of Mrs. Norris, petrified and hung by her tail had been more terrifying for her. She was traumatized by the whole event and seemed to withdraw a little. It didn't help that gossip seemed to be running through the school like wildfire. Everyone was talking about The Chamber of Secrets and lots of dirty looks and whispers were aimed at the Slytherin house. I knew why too, I had heard Father talk about The Chamber when I was younger. I knew that the legend was that Salazar Slytherin, one of the original founders of the school had built a hidden chamber someplace within the school. He didn't approve of the other founders allowing children from non Pureblood families to attend. Father said that one day the true Heir would return to the school and find the chamber, and when he did, the Heir and the monster Slytherin left in the chamber would drive out or destroy all those who were not Pureblood. 

I had never given it much thought up until now. To me it was more like a fairytale, meant to frighten children, nothing but a story. Suddenly it seemed frighteningly real and it was hard to not notice the looks and whispers when I entered the common room in the days that followed the attack on the cat. I knew that many of the students in my house thought I knew something. Hermione just glared at me accusingly, it made me sympathize with my brothers hatred toward her. I had never been anything but pleasant to her, yet she somehow found herself to be my moral and intellectual superior based on my last name. 

Draco wouldn't speak to me for a few days after the event either. I was silently fearing that I would receive a Howler from my Father in response to my publicly shouting at him or worse, that Father would show up here in person. I was even half expecting Uncle Severus to feel obligated to punish me on Fathers behalf, but thankfully nothing happened. In all his anger, Draco didn't tell Father anything. He knew Father would be outraged and the price I would pay would be far greater than the embarrassment I had caused him. So, instead he punished me with silence. When he finally did speak to me he it was not pleasant. I had been following him around for days trying to get him to forgive me. I still hated what he said, but he was my brother and I couldn't take not speaking to him like this.

I waited for him to come out of Transfiguration one afternoon and finally caught him alone. He was one of the last students out of the classroom and for once his two sidekicks were not around. "Draco, please talk to me. Please, I wasn't trying to..." I pleaded, but he cut me off abruptly.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that again Delia! Never!" he yelled, grabbing me by my upper arm. "If you ever side with a Mudbloods against your own family again, so help me I will make sure Father knows and he will whip you within an inch of your life! You are a disgrace to Pureblood when you act the way you did!" 

I don't know what hurt more, the grip he had on my arm or the horrible threat he just made. I knew he was serious and it hurt my heart that he felt this way. "I'm sorry Draco." I sobbed. "Please... please don't tell Father, I won't do it again I promise!"

Draco's face softened a little bit and he let go of my arm. "Delia, our family has a responsibility to act dignified and to respect our Pureblood heritage. You would be foolish to think Father won't find out if you continue to behave that way. I am sorry I hurt you." he said, looking at me rubbing my arm. "But you have to remember who we are and where your loyalties lie. You can't speak to me like that, I am your older brother. It makes us look common."

All I could do is nod my head and rub my arm, tears running down my face. I was hurt and I was angry, but I also knew what Draco said was true. I was the daughter of a noble family, my job was to be pretty, an obedient daughter and someday an obedient wife. If I didn't exemplify the virtues of a noble family, I would never find a respectable husband and what use would I be to the family then? If I wasn't everything I was supposed to be, I would be nothing more than a shameful stain on the family tree. I had already hurt my chances of finding a husband that my Father would find acceptable by being placed in Gryffindor. I would be expected to marry soon after graduation. No Slytherin would ever consider a Gryffindor for a wife. I don't think the reality of my mess had truly hit me till now. I could see that Draco felt bad for hurting me and I understood that it wasn't just his own selfish pride that drove his furry right now. He was genuinely worried about me, and the future I might have if Father deemed I was unfit for a proper marriage. He put his arm around me and drew me closer to him, embracing me tightly, as if he was afraid I might blow away.

"I love you Delia, I don't want Father to force you home. You know if he does, you will have a Governess." his words were frighteningly accurate. If Father felt I was bringing too much shame to the family name I would return home for my education under the care of a Governess. In the wizarding world a Governess would be employed by a noble family to educate their daughter and teach her to be everything a Pureblood should be, including completely obedience. It was considered an antiquated practice these days, but some of the most noble families still employed them, especially if their daughter was already proving to be a bit wayward. I had heard enough stories about them to know it would be far worse than just dealing with my Father. A Governess becomes like your shadow, never leaving you alone for one second and correcting even the smallest flaw with severity. My mother and her two sisters grew up with one. I think my mother blamed the cruelty of their Governess for part of why my Aunt Bellatrix had gone so mad. She and my mother had been incredibly close as children and I think Aunt Bella would sometime suffer the brunt of it to protect Mother. It was because of this that Mother had been able to convince Father that I should not be given a Governess when I turned 8. If Father had, had his way I would have stayed in the nursery and received a Governess. Draco and I shared the two bedroom suite that was the Nursery till he was 8 and then he received his own suite and I stayed in the Nursery with our Nanny till my 8th birthday. Mother convinced Father I would do just fine without a Governess and he relented and let me have my own suite too. I am sure it is something he regrets now. I can't give Father an excuse to bring me home, it would be the end of any happiness in my life if it did.

"Come, let's go for lunch and put this behind us. Father doesn't know about this time, you have to do better is all." we walked together to the Great Hall and then went our separate ways to our house tables without another word. 

"Why do you look so sad?" Ginny asked me when I sat down next to her.

"It's nothing, I just got into an argument with Draco is all. It's fine, we're both over it." I told her with a forced smile. 

"Your brother is a bully you know." Ginny said rolling her eyes.

"I know you think he is, but you just don't know him. He doesn't mean to sound like a snob, he just...." I don't know how to put it into words so Ginny calls me out on it.

"He just can't hide it well, can he." she says. I decide to let it go, I don't want to argue with anyone else today.

"I am so glad it's Friday, I need a break from this week." I complain pushing my plate away.

"Tomorrow is the first Quidditch match of the season! I'm excited about that! Should be interesting too! Gryffindor vs Slytherin." She smiles mischievously.

I smiled at her, she was actually acting a bit like her old self and I was glad. "I hope Draco does well. I know he's been horrible, but he has really worked so hard. I wonder if Father and Mother will be here tomorrow to watch?" I suddenly felt a little worried. Ginny could see the sudden worry in my face as I thought about it. It still left an opportunity for Father to find out. Perhaps Uncle Severus had already told him and Father was just waiting to deal with it himself tomorrow after the Quidditch. 

"If your parents do come to watch, I don't think you need to worry. Neither of them would be caught dead in the Gryffindor section!" she tried to joke. I hoped she was right. I didn't want to ruin the mood since she was finally herself again. 

"What do you want to do this afternoon? We don't have anymore classes today." I ask her.

"Hmmm.....we could go down to the lake, Ron says it's full of Merpeople. I've never seen one, have you?" she says smiling.

"No! Let's go! I just need to run up to the common room and drop off my books and get a jersey." I am excited to suddenly have someone to have fun with again. We both head out of the Great Hall and up to the common room feeling a little adventurous. While it's not completely forbidden to visit the lake, first, second and third years are required to be supervised by a teacher. As long as we keep a low profile, I think we should be fine. Hardly anyone visits the lake this time of year.


	15. Chapter 15

The lake is a lot creepier than I expected. The air is much colder down here and the water is a mixture of dark grey and black. Ginny and I sit cross legged on the dock, peering down at the water, but all we can see is an occasional ripple or bubble. We are both lost in silent concentration looking into the water when until Ginny finally breaks the silence. "Can I tell you something?"

Her question seems strained and when I turn to look at her she is still staring down into the water not wanting to make eye contact. "You can tell me anything." I tell her, wondering why she won't look at me.

"But you can never tell a soul Delia." she says dropping a pebble into the water. She finally looks at me when I don't answer her. "Swear! Swear you won't tell anyone!" I look around because suddenly she is shouting a little and I don't want to attract attention if this is seriously something.

"Yes Ginny, I swear to never tell a soul! What is wrong!?" I ask her concerned. She looks away again as if she is too ashamed to look at me. "Ginny, please... I promise, you can tell me anything and I will never share it with anyone."

She finally turns and looks at me for a second before looking away again. The cold wind picks up a little and the surface of the lake ripples with it. "I... I found a book over the summer." She paused and took a deep breath, then threw another pebble into the water. "It was blank, so I decided to write in it, like a diary. I wrote my name and the date, and the next thing I knew the book was writing back to me. I knew I shouldn't keep talking to him, my Dad works for the Ministry for Petes sake! He always told us not to trust an object if it didn't have a brain but could think for it's self." I did't really understand, but I sat there silently listening. "He said his name was Tom, Tom Riddle. He told me he was my friend, but... I think he's tricked me and I...." she couldn't finish the sentence. " You promised never to tell." she reminded me trying not to cry. I knew I had heard the name Tom Riddle before, but I couldn't for the life of me remember where.

"I told you I won't tell and I won't, but Ginny, where did the book even come from?" I asked her, hoping we could pinpoint its magic if she knew where it had come from.

"I don't know!" she said in tears. "We went to Diagon Alley to buy all our school supplies and when I got home it was in with all of my school books. At first I didn't even give it a second though, I thought it was a text book." suddenly I was reminded of the vision Mother and I were subjected to the we arrived at Flourish and Blotts the day we went school shopping. Father was shouting at Ginnys Father and holding a bunch of books in his hand. No! Surely Father wouldn't put a child in danger. I know he can be cruel sometimes, but he would never do something like this, especially to another Pureblood family. I pushed the thought out of my mind as soon as it came.

"Where is the book now Ginny? You must not talk to it anymore if it scares you. Why do you think it tricked you?" she looks away again when I ask this. 

"Sometimes I will be writing in the book and the next thing I know I am somewhere else and a lot of time has passed. The last time was the night someone tried to kill Mrs. Norris and wrote that message in blood on the wall." she said shamefully and scared.

"That had nothing to do with you Ginny! That message was definitely written by a Slytherin and you could never hurt anything let alone a cat, even a wretched cat like Mrs. Norris! You don't have a dark bone in your body Ginny Weasley! You haven't done anything!" I tell her forcefully. I know Ginny isn't capable of any of what she is suggesting. 

"I don't know Delia, I don't trust myself now." she says looking down at the water again.

"I trust you, and I know you Ginny. You're a good person, you haven't done anything. Where is the book?" I ask he again.

"Its upstairs in our dormitory, I'll show you when we go back up." and we sit in silence again for a few minutes contemplating everything. 

After about twenty minutes of us sitting there I think I see a blur of something just below the surface of the water. I hold my breath, concentrating on the spot to see if I see it again or if it was only my imagination. I could almost swear I saw the water ripple a little but with the wind I can't be sure. Suddenly I see it again, this time a little closer to the dock. "Ginny, did you see that?" I ask in a whisper.

"See what?" She whispers back sensing my wariness. I don't reply, I just keep staring at the spot just below us on the dock, trying to make out what I saw. I see another ripple but nothing more, just as I begin to settle back convinced it was nothing I see another ripple a little further away. Leaning forward to look closer I hear Ginny gasp and see more ripples in the water. 

"What was that!" Ginny says nervously. I lean over to take a closer look and suddenly 2 large green arms and a fish like morphic face breaks the water screaming at me. It grabs hold of my arm and before I have a chance to scream for help it pulls me under the ice cold darkness. I can feel all the air escape my lungs in one loud and muffled scream. My chest burns from lack of air, my whole body convulses from the cold and I feel myself fighting in fear of the horrible slimy thing clawing my arm and dragging me deeper and deeper within the lake. It all happened so fast that I barely have time to think. The thing is so much stronger than me and slippery slimy, so that I cannot break its embrace. The freezing water makes my head pound, my brain foggy and my limbs begin to grow heavy and numb. In a matter of seconds the reality crashes down on me. I realize that in all likelihood I am going to die in this horrible abyss of darkness and cold. I want my mother, I am so scared and there is so much pain, I can't even think straight anymore, it all starts to become darkness. At least the darkness isn't nearly as painful as the cold and lashing claws of this horrible beast dragging me to hell. I have a last thought of understanding, I deserve this. I deserve to die like this after everything and I know that this death is a far less horrible than the one I deserve. I feel myself begin to drift away in the darkness and cold, acceptance and submission to my fate are the last things I remember. 

Sometime later I begin to be aware of the warmth and light surrounding me. Slowly I hear voiced and I realize they are arguing. I can't make it all out, its just too blurry and I wonder for a moment if I have died and the argument I am overhearing is the one for my soul. Then I think I hear Ginny's voice over the muffle argument. "I think she's waking up!" I hear her say/ 

"Ginny?" I call out feeling lost and confused. I try to open my eyes to focus, but the pounding in my head is explosive. 

"Now, now" I hear Madam Pomfrey's voice. "Give her a chance to come around. The shock of it all will take a few minutes." I open my eyes and as bright as everything seems to be I can finally focus. My head is still pounding, but I can make out the faces and voices. 

"Ginny, how...how did I get here?" I asked her, I had no memory from the time I was being drug down to the cold darkness and for the life of me I couldn't imagine how I was alive. 

"It was Professor Snape, he was near the lake where you were pulled under. He heard me scream when you went into the water and if he hadn't been there..." her voice broke into tears. I became aware that my God Father was also in the room, staring at me full of worry. 

"Delia! What were you thinking?!" shouted Uncle Severus, his face filled with emotion. I wasn't used to seeing him like this. My usually stoic God Father looked on the verge of tears. "You two had no business going down to the lake alone!" he snapped angrily yet still filled with worry. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't think it would be dangerous, I am so sorry, please don't be angry." I pleaded with him. 

"The child has been through a shock, she needs an evenings rest now, let us not overwhelm her." Madam Pomfrey chided. I realized that Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore were also in the room and I was suddenly concerned about my inability to fly under the radar on this one. I looked back at Uncle Severus and while I knew he was seriously concerned, I also knew I was going to be in a great deal of trouble when I was well enough to leave the hospital wing. 


	16. Chapter 16

The next morning I woke up in the Hospital wing feeling a little stiff, but no worse for wear. I hoped this meant that I would be discharged and allowed to get back to normal life without my Father finding out or Ginny and I being punished. A few moments after I started to sit up in bed and take in my surroundings Madam Pomfrey appeared. "Feeling better are we?" She asked.

"Yes Ma'am."

"You've had quite a few visitors this morning, I've had to turn them all away, can't have visitors waking up the patients." She says as if there were several people in the hospital, at the moment I seem to be her only patient. "Let me see, your brother was here, your friend Ginny, Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape, and oh yes, your Father was here as well. He wasn't very pleased at being told he would have to wait, but I don't believe in waking a sleeping patient!" her words make me wish I was unconscious again. Father is here, he knows and he is here. Nothing good could come from that. I knew he would be coming for Draco's Quidditch match, but I had hoped he wouldn't find out about this. I quickly start to get myself together asking Madam Pomfrey if I may return to my dorm under the guise of looking for my Father. I have no intention of looking for him, but I am hoping if I can get out of here quick enough, I can at least have a head start on avoiding him. "Not until you've had your breakfast Miss. Malfoy, can't have you leaving the ward until you have kept some food down."

Thankfully the house elves brought me a tray with porridge and toast as soon as she said it. I quickly gobbled down my meal to prove to her I was well enough to go and she brought me some clothes. You would have thought the building was on fire, I got dressed so quickly. I was out of the hospital wing before you could say Quidditch. I scrambled my way to the Gryffindor wing looking for Ginny, while trying to avoid running into Draco, Professor Snape or my Father. When I got to the common room, it was nearly empty. Most of the students had already left for the Quidditch pitch to watch the big match. I throw on my Gryffindor scarf and head to the Quidditch pitch. I am just about to make you way up to the Gryffindor seating when I feel something hard come down on my shoulder. Before I even turn around I know what it it. Father is standing behind me with his walking stick still resting on my shoulder. I turn around slowly to face him, every ounce of me wishing I was still unconscious in the hospital wing right now.

"Well, well.. we are in a hurry aren't we." he says with a tisk. "I stopped by the Hospital Wing earlier, but they said you were still sleep. Come, join Severus and I in the Slytherin box for the match and then we can have a little chat." 

I can see Professor Snape standing behind Father, his expression emotionless. I have no other choice but to follow them up to the Slytherin box and wait for the match to finish. I know I am in trouble and there is no place to escape to. Obediently I follow Father, taking a seat where he motions and making no noise. I have learned long ago that when he is angry, it is best to be as invisible as possible.

The match starts and the stands are filled with excitement. Not only is this the first match of the season, but it’s Slytherin against Gryffindor and our two houses have had a long running rivalry. All of the Slytherin students in our box look at me like a three headed toad. While they don’t want me there they don’t say a word because of Father and Professor Snape. Father on the other hand acts as if I am not even there. He smiles and talks to Professor Snape and some of the other parents. Several times I see Draco shooting across the pitch on his new broom. He navigates like a pro. Father barely even notices him, he is more interested in his conversation with Mr. Zabini to see how hard Draco is trying. Several times I catch Draco looking our way, hoping to impress him, but Father takes no notice. 

About halfway into the match things start to get a little more interesting. Draco and Harry are both hanging out above the rest of the players hoping to catch a glimpse of the snitch and hurling insults at each other when a bludger comes barreling past them both, nearly unseating Draco. They both recover quickly only to have the same bludger round back on them causing them scramble out of its way. They are so preoccupied dodging the bludger that at first neither of them sees the Snitch right behind Draco. Harry suddenly sees it and takes off past Draco. Draco turns and sees what Harry is after and follows suit. They are both so focused on the Snitch that initially neither of them is aware of the bludger that is still pursuing them. It isn't until it crashes into one of the viewing stands, sending chunks of wood flying everywhere that they realize they have company. Struggling to capture the Snitch and avoid being flattened by the bludger, they both end up in the alley between the pitch and the stands. For a few minutes you can't even see them, but you can hear the booming destruction of the bludger crashing through the alley after them. I stand up trying to catch a glimpse of my brother, I am anxious with worry he will be smashed before he has a chance to catch the Snitch. Father grabs me by the back of my sweater and yanks me back down into my seat with a warning glare. Suddenly, Draco comes flying out of the alley, flipping across the pitch without his broom. He hits the ground with such force that the wind is knocked out of him, and I can see a look of disgust on Fathers face. Moments later Harry comes out of the alley, still in hot persuit of the Snitch. His arm outstretched he nearly reaches it, when suddenly the bludger is back and connects with his outstretched arm. Harry is nearly thrown from his broom, but is able to recover quickly and continues after the Snitch, holding his injured arm close to his chest. He is forced to let go of his broom to make another grab at the Snitch and as soon as he wraps his fingers around it, the broom tips forward launching him from his seat. He lands on his back, still clutching the Snitch. Out of nowhere the bludger appears again and slams into the ground, if Harry hadn't rolled out of its way the thing would have landed on his head. The bludger rebounds and picks up speed, aiming itself at Harry one more time before someone on the field is finally able to obliterate it. Several students and teacher run out on the field to make sure he is ok. 

I watch from the stands as Harry continues to cradle his injured arm. Professor Lockhart pulls out his wand to heal him, the next thing Harrys arm is floppy mass hanging from his body. Father laughs and looks at Proffesor Snape. "What an absolute fool, and this is who Dumbledore employs to teach our children." his comment laced with disdain. Professor Snape shares an expression of agreement. 

Harry's friends and Hagrid help him off the field, I am assuming to go to the Hospital Wing so Madam Pomfrey can mend is arm. The stands are quickly emptying out and Father continues his conversation with Professor Snape while he gets up and begins to descend the stairs. I hope that he is so distracted by the events of the match and conversation that he forgets about me, but I am wrong. "We are leaving Delia!" he glared at me. 

"Yes Father." I answer him and follow him down the stairs and back towards the castle, passing all the students and staff excitedly chatting about the match. I look around for Draco, but I don't see him on my way up. I worry perhaps he too was sent to the Hospital Wing after his fall. I don't dare ask though, instead I humbly follow my Father and God Father through the dark halls towards the dungeons where Snape's office is. They both continue their conversation into the office without even acknowledging me and I quietly stand near the door, hoping to blend in with the shadows and be forgotten. Finally after continuing to berate Professor Dumbledore for all of his perceived inadequacies and the disgrace the school has made of itself, Father finally turns his eyes on me. 

"And speaking of disgrace, I still have my daughter to attend to. Come here Cordelia." he says in a cold voice. I obediently cross the room towards him with my head down, knowing he could strike me at any second. I can see it in his eyes, he may be more composed than the last time we stood in Uncle Severus office but I can see the anger boiling just below the surface. His grip on his walking stick tell me that if my God Father were not in the room right now he would no doubt be beating me with it. "I hear you've made yourself a friend here at school, is that true?" he asks with an unnatural calm in his voice. 

"Yes Sir." I answer him and look towards the floor. I know very well how my Father feels about the Weasleys. Even though they are Pureblood Father views Mr. Weasley as a traitor to our kind. He believes that because they are poor and because Mr. Weasley has worked with the Ministry against former Death Eaters like him, that they are trash. 

"I was a fool to think you could leave The Manor and come to Hogwarts without bringing shame to us. A daughter of mine in Gryffindor! Parading around with Bloodtraitor trash! Breaking school rules! You received detention for your little escapade down at the lake Delia! Maybe we would have been better off if Severus hadn't pulled you out of that water. At least then I wouldn't have to worry about what you will do next to destroy our honor! Who will marry you the way that you are carrying on! Not one family we had hoped for would touch you know that you're a Gryffindor, and to make it worse, you throw yourself in the gutter with that Weasley trash!" His calm completely gone now, Father raged on. "I will not have my name and everything I have worked for defiled by your behavior!' He screamed in my face before grabbing my arm and directing me towards the reading nook chair. I want to run but there is no escape, tears already burning my face I am nearly choking on my own sobs and he forces me over the arm rest. I hear the familiar snap of his fingers as he produces the cane. I am tempted to beg him not to, but I know it will only make him even more angry. "If you had used this like I told you to Severus, perhaps we wouldn't be dealing with this today." he scolds Professor Snape before bringing the cane down hard on the backs of my legs. It takes my breath away so that I can't even scream out in pain at first, It isn't until I hear the swishing sound of the cane again and lands directly across my bottom that I finally find my voice and scream. My pleading only act as fuel to the fire of furry within him and the cane rains down on my legs and bottom for what feels like forever. The pain is so horrible that I begin to have trouble focusing and I pray that at least if I faint, the pain might stop. Finally out of breath and his anger somewhat abated he stops, I am barely even crying anymore because I have run out of tears. 

"If you see her anywhere near the Weasley girl Severus, you will whip her, am I clear! She is your God Daughter and you will act in my absence! We had an agreement, she could attend here and you would maintain order. I am not even sure I will allow her to return after Christmas, Its was a mistake that I allowed Narcissa to convice me she didn't need a Governess. None of this would be a problem had I not let that women have her way." I knew that wasn't an empty threat, the likelihood of me returning after Christmas was probably very slim. I had hoped I would at least be allowed to finish the school year, but looking at my Father right now I knew I was lucky he wasn't taking me home right now. I couldn't speak to Ginny anymore and nobody else wanted to be near me, so there wasn't much here for me anyway. I realized at this moment that I hated my father, and as I stood there trembling in pain and fear I promised myself that someday I would make him tremble, one day I would destroy him the way he destroyed me, and when I did I would enjoy every minute of it.


	17. Chapter 17

I spent the rest of the day in curled up in my bed with Esme, the pain from my Fathers beating radiating through my body and a feeling of hopelessness surrounding me. I really began to doubt that I had anything to look forward to in my life. I had looked forward to escaping Malfoy Manor and coming to Hogwarts for years, yet nothing had turned out the way I had hoped. I think it may have even made things worse. What kind of future did I have now? More than likely I would be expected to stay at The Manor after the Christmas holidays. I had hoped I wouldn't even be require to go for Christmas, but now.... Now everything was a mess. I have always lived in fear of my Father, but I can't Imagine what life will be like with him now. I had been confined to my room many times as a punishment in the past. It had sometimes lasted weeks at a time. My doors and windows would be charmed, so that they could only be opened by Father and Mother, and the elves could aparate in and out to bring me my meals. During those times Dobby was usually my only visitor. I wondered if Father would lock me away in my room forever. I knew nobody would ever come for me if he did, not even my Mother. 

One of my earliest memories was being 3 or 4 and laying on the sitting room carpet coloring on a piece of parchment while Nanny was teaching Draco his letters. Father was reading The Profit and drinking his coffee while Mother was reading a book. I was excited about my creation and when I rushed over to Father to show him, I knocked his coffee cup out of his hand, spilling the contents all over him. "Dammit Narcissa! Look at this! Children running wild and having no respect for proper behavior! This is what comes from not discipling these little barbarians! If you'd used a firmer hand with the child she would know how to behave like a lady, not tearing around The Manor like a bloody animal!" Being so young I was shocked at all of this and began to cry. This just made matters worse, and Father violently yanked me across his lap, pulled down my underthings and spanked me without mercy. I had never been hit by anyone in my life up until this point, but it was the first of many that only seemed to grow more violent as I got older. No matter what I did, I always seem to fail in my Fathers eyes and my Mother seemed to drift further and further away to avoid it. After years of trying to please Father I learned I was better off avoiding him and making myself as invisible as possible, because I knew there was no changing things. 

It was starting to get dark when Ginny came up to the dorm looking for me. I tried to pretend to be asleep so I wouldn't have to explain things to her, but she was too persistent. "I know you're awake. Won't you talk to me Delia? Please, I had no idea one of them would try to pull you in like that! I'm so sorry..." Ginny sounded crushed and I didn't want her to think that I was angry with her, I didn't blame her at all. I just didn't want to explain to her everything that had happened since the lake. It was too much to tell my only friend I couldn't be her friend anymore after everything else.

"Just leave me alone, please." I said just above a whisper, hoping she would let it go for now.

"I'm sorry, I really am. I'll tell them it was all my fault! I was so scared when it pulled you in.." She was crying now. "If it hadn't been for Professor Snape....... it would have been all my fault."

"None of this is your fault and I am fine, but will you please just leave me. I am tired and I need some rest, we can talk tomorrow." I had hoped that would be enough to buy me some space for tonight, but knowing Ginny she wouldn't let this go. She sat down on the edge of my bed and I hoped if I continued to ignore her she would go away and let it wait till morning. After a few minutes of sitting there in silence I used my foot to try and shove her off the bed. I heard her let out a gasp when she grabbed me by the ankle and then I realized what happened. When I kicked her, my leg came out from under the covers and I knew she could now see some of the angry welts on my leg. I yanked it back under the covers quickly, but it wouldn't erase what she saw.

"What happened! Who did that to you! Someone did that to you, who was it!" Ginny was starting to get too upset and way too loud, she was going to attract attention. So, I pulled the blanket back from my face and looked at her.

"Stop it! someone is going to hear you!!" I hissed at her. I knew she was upset and worried about me, but I didn't need her attracting half of the common room into our dormitory right now. "Its ok! Really, it's ok. Just calm down, please." 

"That's not ok!" she says pointing to my legs. "You have to tell me what happened." She demands, wide eyed. "Was it your dad? I saw you with him...... and Professor Snape after the match." She knew. She knew the most humiliating secret of my life. 

"Please don't do this right now." I tell her crying. "You don't understand...."

"What's there to understand? This.. is so wrong Delia." She looks at me, imploringly. "I told you my secret, I told you about Tom. You can trust me..... was it your dad?" I can't even look at her now, I just stare at the beam in the ceiling crying silently.

"Yes...." is all I can say. I still can't look at her though. I just keep staring at the beam, and for a moment neither of us says a word. 

Finally Ginny asks me "Why?" it's a question I have asked myself forever and I am no closer to an answer.

"Because I disappoint him and I make him angry." I hear the words as they come out of my mouth and I realize its not a good enough reason. Ginny comes from a different world than I do, her family doesn't put so much value on nobility and appearance. She wouldn't understand.

"That's no reason to.... to beat you. Fred and George make my dad angry all of the time, but he would never hit them like this. I don't think I've ever seen him give any of us more than a swipe. You have to tell someone." she says.

"No Ginny! You promised me! No one can know! My Father would kill me if he found out!" I was becoming completely unhinged at the thought of what she was suggesting. Father would look at it as the ultimate act of shameful defiance. He would be murderous. I wouldn't put it past him to use the Cruciatus Curse before locking me away somewhere forever, or worse. It took a minute of Ginny reassuring me she would say anything before I calmed down.

"What about your mum? Does she know? Her question hurts me, because it reminds me of reality. 

"She knows, but she won't do anything to defy my Father." I tell her while twisting the ends of my hair. Its a mixture of hurt, shame and anger that I feel while I have to admit to my only friend that my own mother has watched my Father beat me for years without ever issuing a whisper of protest. Ginny senses my shame and plays with Esme to avoid looking at me. 

"Is there nobody in your family you could tell? Your Grandparents or and Aunt or Uncle?" Ginny asks me ignorantly. I almost laugh at her question. 

"The only grandparent I have is my Fathers mother, Grandmother Ophelia and I'm grateful she rarely leaves her estate in Monaco. My Aunt Bellatrix and my Uncle Rodolphus are locked up in Azkaban Prison, I've never even met them and I've heard people say she is mad as a hatter. There is no one." If there was ever a question as to why Father was as cruel and unfeeling as he is, the secrets could be found within the lovelessness of my Grandmother. While still beautiful and respected, she was the most unnerving person I had ever met. Never in my childhood did I ever find her a comforting and loving Grandmother. On the opposite, she was harsh and scary. She found a reason to be angry about everything, no one could ever meet her standards and she chastised everyone in her company, including Father. 

"I'm sorry Delia." Ginny said to me and I could see she felt terrible about my situation. 

"There is nothing anyone can do Ginny, it just is, there is no changing it. It's been like this my whole life, I don't expect it to change now." I tell her. "So, are you going to show me Tom Riddle's book, or what." I am ready to change the subject now. Ginny looks uncomfortable, but she gets up and walks over to her trunk and opens the top. After a few seconds of digging around she pulls out an older, leather bound book and shuts the top of her trunk. As apprehensive as she looks, she brings the book over to my bed and we both sit cross legged together as she opens the front cover. Ginny, flips through the whole book to show me that it's nothing but dusty old blank pages. "I thought you said you wrote in the book and he wrote back to you?" I ask confused. 

"I did, I wrote in it and somehow he could write back to me in the book, he said it was a diary. Every time I close the book everything goes away." Ginny looked like she was worried I wouldn't believe her. "Look, I'll show you." she says, getting up and walking back over to her bed. She opens her school bag and produces a bottle of ink and a quill, then walks back over and sits down next to me. Nervously she open the book and dips the quill into the ink. She writes "Hello Tom" on the blank page and within seconds another set of words appear, the handwriting much more ornate than Ginny's. It says "Hello Ginny, I have missed you. Who is your friend?". Both of us look at each other startled that the book knew I was there. 

"Don't tell him my name!" I whisper to her urgently. 

"Well, what should I say then? He knows you're here." now we are both whispering, worried that Tom could hear us too. 

"Alright, fine. Tell him, but this is already giving me the creeps." I say, wishing now that I hadn't brought up the book because this feels so wrong. I have this nagging feeling that there is something really important I am missing with this, but whatever it is, its telling me there is something bad about this diary. 

"Her name is Delia, she is my best friend." Ginny scrawls in the diary. I am flattered she calls me her best friend, nobody has ever called me that before. I don't have much time to think about it though because Tom's, reply comes quickly. 

"I thought I was your best friend." he replies and his writing looks a little more ragged than before. Ginny looks uncomfortable with his response, it almost sounded jealous."What have you told her about me?" he asks after a minute. I can see Ginny looking even more nervous with his question. 

"I just told her we were friends and wanted her to meet you." My mind is screaming at me now that there is something wrong, I can see Ginny is worried about his reactions and I am ready to tell her to close the book, but curiosity keeps me from speaking. 

"I hope you haven't been telling her any of our secrets Ginny." Tom replies in the diary. 

"I wouldn't do that Tom, but Delia is my friend and you can trust her." Ginny writes, I feel like she is trying to appease him. I don't like that she looks so concerned about the opinion of a jealous book. Even charmed books don't have feeling, but this one was obviously more than that. 

"We should probably start heading down to the Great Hall soon, its nearly dinner." I tell Ginny hoping she will put the diary away. I don't even feel comfortable telling her my concerns with it out. 

"Good", Tom finally replies before the pages go blank. Ginny looks at me and closes the book. 

"I think he's mad at me." she tells me looking worried. She gets up and crosses the room to her trunk, where she carefully replaces the diary. 

"It's a book Ginny, it shouldn't be mad, it shouldn't have any feeling about anything! Let's not forget you said you think he's been tricking you and strange thing have happened to you when you've been using it." I tell her wide eyed gesturing towards her trunk. "Are you sure the diary isn't a dark object? Maybe someone put it with your things on purpose to hurt you." saying this reminded me again of seeing Father in the bookstore. I feel a tightness in my chest just thinking about it. Could Father have put this in Ginny's things on purpose? I remind myself that while cruel, this would be criminal and Father would never soil the Malfoy name especially after escaping being accused of being a Death Eater so many years ago. No, surly Ginny or someone in her family must have accidentally picked up the book themselves, but I wasn't sure if I believed that or if I was just trying to convince myself. 

Ginny doesn't say anything more about it, and I can tell she doesn't want me to either. "Let's go to dinner, I'm starving and you skipped lunch." I agree and make a mental not that she and I really need to talk about this agin. It drives me crazy that I can't put my finger on the nagging feeling I have about Tom Riddle and the Diary.


	18. Chapter 18

The Great Hall is bustling with conversation when Ginny and I arrive for dinner. Everyone is still talking about the Quidditch match and Ginny looks disappointed when her brother mentions Harry is still in the hospital wing. I don't realize how hungry I am till I sit down and the smell of all of roast chicken and mashed potatoes hits my nose. My stomach instantly starts to growl and I start heaping piles of chicken and potatoes on my plate and covering it with gravy. I was just about to start devouring my meal when I realize Ginny's brother Ron is staring at me. "Bloody hell, I've never seen a girl eat that much and you must be the smallest first year at ever." I can feel my face flush a little in embarrassment, not just about the food, but about my size. I am very aware that I am smaller than most children my age and I hate it. 

"Shut up Ron!" Ginny says scolding him. "Your so rude!"

"I'm sorry, I meant it as a compliment. I was impressed." he says smiling at me over his own heaped plate. I can see he really didn't mean to embarrass me and I am far too hungry to give it much more though. Instead I pick my fork back up and attack my dinner. It is absolutely delicious and I am so engrossed in my meal I don't really talk. Ron and Hermione both sit there discussing the Quidditch and how someone must have used a spell to cause the bludger to attack Harry like it did. Hermione is keen to figure out who the culprit was and spews a list of people she thinks could be guilty. I know the first person on her list is Draco, even though she doesn't say it. I try not to think about it because it only makes me dislike her more. It also reminds me that I still have not seen my brother since I watched him be thrown across the quidditch pitch this morning and I turn around to search the Slytherin table for him. It doesn't take long to see him seated between Crabbe and Goyle, Pansy Parkinson talking his ear off from across the table. His white blond hair like a beacon. I will have to tell him after dinner about Father and his warning about Christmas. Its only five weeks away and if I have any chance of avoiding my Father forcing me to stay home, I will need Draco's help. 

I finished my meal and told Ginny I would meet her back at the dorm, I needed some time to speak to Draco. I left her sitting with Ron and Hermione and walked over to the Slytherin table to ask him to if he could go for a walk with me so we could talk about things. As I near the table, Pansy sees me coming and glares at me. "Aww, Draco the little Gyffindor has come to visit." her voiced filled with sarcasm. I know she doesn't want me taking my brothers attention away from her and now that I am a Gryffindor she has been nothing but obnoxious to me.

Draco excuses himself from the table immediately and as we walk away together Pansy shoots me one last dirty look. As we leave the Great Hall Draco asks me "Are you ok?' his eyes are filled with concern. I don't want to tell him about everything and I look away before answering him.

"Yes, I'm fine." I lie.

"I saw you with Father at Quidditch and then you disappeared for the rest of the day. Did.......did he hurt you?" Draco is not the most sensitive of beings, but I can see nothing but love and worry on his face. It doesn't do either of us any good for him to be upset about Father whipping me and I know it will hurt him, so I lie. 

"No, he just yelled a lot and he said that he probably won't let me come back to Hogwarts after Christmas." as much as I had intended to keep a brave face for my conversation with him, I feel myself waver repeating Fathers threat. Draco didn't answer me right away, we continued to walk dow the empty corridor in silence for a few minutes. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and I turned to look at him. I'm surprised at how sad he looks. We turn down another corridor before coming to a sitting area with a couch and a few large upholstered chairs. I take the corner of the couch and pull my feet up under me, suddenly feeling chilled.

"Did he say for sure that you wouldn't be able to come back after the holidays?" he asked me sitting down on the couch next to me. He takes off his jersey and hands it to me. I try and wave him off but he insists. "Take it, I know you're cold and I'm not."

I pull the jersey over my head, thankful for its warmth before I answer. "He said probably, but I'm pretty sure he meant it. He's not happy with me and everything I do just goes so wrong.." I had intended on be strong and not get emotional but like everything else, I fail and start to cry. Draco puts his arms around me and pulls me closer to him, stroking my hair and trying to comfort me.

"I'm sorry Delia, we will try and find a way to change his mind. I promise you, I will do everything I can try and convince Father to let you stay. Your grades are excellent and apart from you and Ginny Weasley heading down to the lake on you own like a bunch of fools, you haven't been in any trouble." he pulls me back to look at him. "I know Father is hard on you, I'm sorry Delia. I wish I could protect you from him.

"Father says I can't be friends with Ginny anymore either." I tell him.

"You're not surprised by that, are you? You know how Father feels about associations. You might as well be hanging out with that Mudbloods Granger, or even better, you could start dating Potter." I bristle at Draco's words. I love him, but sometimes when he opens his mouth he sounds just like my Father.

"Why do you have to say things like that Draco! Why does it matter who my friends are if they're nice and don't get into trouble? And you shouldn't call Hermione a Mudblood. She's an annoying, know it all, snob, but it's a horrible thing to say." I'm hurt Draco would insinuate Ginny wasn't good enough to be my friend, she was the only person who even wanted to be my friend. I can see he's annoyed by my outburst but I can't just listen to him like this. He puts his hand to his forehead and rubs it as if he's trying to dismiss a sudden headache.

"Look, if Father told you not to be friends with her, you have to listen to him. You and I both know how well disobeying Father will play out. I don't want him to hurt you Delia and if he makes you come home...... You won't be safe at The Manor with him." I know he's right, I just can't lose Ginny.

"I can't Draco, she's the only friend I have ever had." I plead with him. I can see him becoming irritated.

"You don't need her Delia, you will make other friends, you just have to try harder. You can't let your relationship with that Weasley ruin your chances at Hogwarts!" I know his anger comes from a misguided attempt to protect me, but having nobody is something Draco doesn't understand. 

"More than likely he's going to make me return to the Manor no matter what I do Draco! What is the point of me throwing away my one friendship to please a man who has never been pleased with anything I have ever done in my life! He's always going to find a reason to punish me Draco! He always has!" as ashamed as I am that I am yelling at him, I just can't help it.

"I'm sorry." he say, looking defeated. "I just don't want things to get worse for you."

"I know." I tell him leaning into him. He puts his arm around me, trying to remind me he loves me.

The two of us sit this way for nearly half an hour before we need to head back to our houses. Draco walks me back to the portrait of the fat lady before walking back to the Slytherin common room alone. He looks about as hopeless as I feel. I had no intention of causing my brother guilt. I feel terrible about it, but I realize that I'm not the cause of our feelings.

When I arrive at the Gryffindor common room its later than I had expected, hardly anyone is up. I walk straight to the girls dormitory, mentally and physically exhausted from the stress of the day. I just want to fall into my bed and sleep this madness away. When I reached the first years dorm I am surprised to see Ginny's bed is still empty. It's only 9:30 and I know that she has another half hour before curfew. I go to my wardrobe and pull out clean pajamas and a towel before going to the the lavatory. A hot shower and fresh clothes sound like a good idea for a good nights rest. I turn the water on as hot as I can stand it and undress. when I walk into the shower I have to fight the desire to turn down the temperature, but after a few seconds the hot water become tolerable and try to wash away the horror of the day. I scrub myself till my skin starts to sting and when I step out of the shower stall the room is filled with steam. I dress quickly and brush my teeth before my earlier chill returns and head to bed. Only, when I get back to our room, Ginny is still not there. It's nearly 10 and I would hate for her to receive another detention after our disaster at the lake. I wait up for as long as I can, but around midnight, my eyelids get too heavy and I fall asleep. I don't wake up till the next morning and the I open my eyes, Ginny is sound asleep in her bed, but she's still in her school uniform from the day before.


	19. Chapter 19

Sunday should be a day to relax and prepare for the new week, but this Sunday was proving to be anything but relaxing. It started out with Ginny. I have no idea what time she came in the dorm last night, but I struggled to wake her for breakfast and when I was finally able to wake her up she was a mess. Her clothes and bare feet were filthy, even her hands were dirty. I had to drag her out of bed and force her into the lavatory to shower. Once I was able to get her in the shower I went back to our room and pulled out clean clothes for her and took them back to the lavatory. Ginny was still standing in the shower when I arrived and she had barely spoken a word since I was able to get her moving. "Ginny, are you ok?" I ask her, standing outside of the shower stall. When she doesn't answer me I start to get worried. "Ginny Weasley! If you don't start telling me what's up I'm going to get Professor McGonagall!"

This seems to shake her back to reality. "I.... I'm ok, I....I just need a few minutes." she stammers.

"Fine! I'll meet you in the dorm when you done, but hurry up! Breakfast will be over soon and I don't want to miss it. Your clothes and things are out here on the bench and I put your towel on the hook." I tell her a little annoyed before heading back to the dorm and pulling out my potions book. I have an exam tomorrow and the last thing I need is to let my Potions grade slip. After twenty minutes Ginny arrives, looking still a bit worse for wear but at least she doesn't look like she's been rolling around in a rubbish bin anymore. "Where were you last night?" I ask her.

Ginny looks at me like she's only half listening and half still trying to figure things out. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? What were you doing all night? I waited up till after midnight and you still weren't here. You could have gotten into a lot of trouble Ginny, the least you could do is tell me where you were." I guess Ginny was hanging out with someone else and she just didn't want to tell me. I just wished she didn't have to lie to me about it. After the beating I received from my Father just the day before over our friendship I found myself being very resentful over her secrecy.

Ginny shakes off her trance and grabs me by the arm, staring me straight in the face. "Delia, I am not lying. I honestly don't know where I was last night and I'm a little scared about it. My whole body hurts and I am covered in scratched and marks. I have no memory of even leaving the dorm after dinner, but I was covered with dirt this morning, I even had leaves in my hair!" I know she's telling me the truth, the level of distress on her face and in her voice warns that something was very wrong and Ginny wasn't lying about it. I don't know how to answer her. She looks exhausted and stressed out. I pull her close to me and hug her because I don't know what else to do and I hate seeing her like this. A million thoughts start running through my head about what could have happened to her before she finally speaks.

"I was writing to Tom in the diary..... I thought he was upset with me and I just wanted to.....I wanted to make sure he wasn't mad. I don't remember much more than that." She looks at me and I can see she feels like she losing her mind. She looks scared and ashamed of herself. I want to ask her why she would even write back to that tosser Riddle but I know it won't help anything.

"Ginny, you have to get rid of it. You have to get rid of that diary. There is something bad about it, I know there is. Maybe you should give it to Professor McGonagall, she could at least figure out if its a dark object." I tell her hoping she would relinquish the evil thing and let Professor McGonagall help her figure out what's been happening to her. I can see her whole jerk at my suggestion.

"Are you mad! I would get into so much trouble, and my parents would kill me. What if my Father even somehow got into trouble! He works for the Ministry and he already got in trouble this year because Ron and Harry driving that flying car of his. I can't......" Ginny looks like she is about to snap and I do everything in my power to calm her and reassure her I won't let her get into trouble.

"You don't have to tell anyone Ginny, it's ok. Just, get rid of it. It's not safe." I would do anything to help Ginny right now and I know exactly how it feels to have a scary secret that nobody can know about. I am able to convince her we should go down to breakfast before her brothers come looking for her, but I know I have to make sure she gets rid of that book.

Breakfast is nearly over the we arrive and Ron looks at us suspiciously. "Where have you two been? Sleeping the day away I suppose." he asks us as we sit down and I try and scrape together a reasonable meal from the meager remnants of breakfast. Ginny just sits down despondently, staring blankly at her empty plate. "Aw cheery up Ginny, Colin will be fine."

"What are you talking about Ron?" I ask.

"You know Colin, that annoying little first year, always chasing after Harry. He went and got himself petrified last night! Can you believe it! They have him up up in the hospital wing. Everyone thinks it's the monster from the Chamber of Secrets, that the Heir of Slytherin has set it loose in the castle." both Ron, Harry and Hermione are staring at me suspiciously and I feel my cheeks burning with anger. "Um..you know a lot about Slytherin don't you? Do you have any ideas who it could be?" Ron asks me awkwardly. Ginny looks like someone has just stuck her with a pin. I see her gasp a little and continue to stare at her plate, her whole body ridged with tension. I would have asked her if she was ok if I wasn't ready to throw my plate in Ron's face.

"NO I DON'T! Is that what you think of me? Because my whole family is Slytherin that somehow I must know something because we're all no good! I suppose what you really want to ask me is if my brother did it, but you don't even have the backbone to just come out and say it!" I shout at them and shove myself away from the table storming out of the Great Hall, leaving Ginny behind. I am so angry I want to scream. I know my brother can be an obnoxious snob, but I am tired of Ron, Hermione and Harry always insinuating Draco is up to some nefarious deed.

"Wait! Delia Wait! Please!" Ginny shouts, running after me. "I'm sorry, Ron's an idiot. He doesn't know what he's talking about." poor Ginny looks a wreck. I know she is already stressed out about last night and suffering from lack of sleep. I don't have it in me to be mad at her when I see her looking at me desperate for forgiveness. I'm not even angry with her, I am mad at the Golden Trio. The three of them so smug, always looking for a reason to blame Draco when something. I slow down to let her catch up. 

"Your brother's a prat, you know that right?" I tell her, when she finally catches up with me at the entrance. I keep walking at the same angered pace so as not to make it easy for her. 

"I know, so's my brother Percy. He's smarter than Ron though and has the worlds biggest ego. I'm really sorry Delia...." Ginny said, sounding like she had more to say but never finishing her sentence. I just keep walking back to the common room, I want to go to the library to study for my potions exam without running into Ron, Harry or Hermione again today. 

"Are you ready for our exam tomorrow?" I ask her, it comes out a little sharper than I intended, but I just keep walking down the corridor. 

"wha... um..what exam?" she stumbles over her words. I stop and turn to look at her. 

"Ginny Weasley! Are you really going to stand here and tell me that you have forgotten we have a potions exam tomorrow? Its half our grade for first term!" I remind her with my hand on my hip. I can't believe she has forgotten about this. "I have to do well on this, My Father will kill me if I do less than excellent. Obviously you need to study too. I was going to go grab my books and head to the library to study, we will go together." I tell her firmly. "I'll help you study." We round the last corridor and the portrait of the Fat Lady stands before us. "Caput Draconis" I say, so she will grant us entrance. We step into the common room and it's fairly quiet, apart from a few students studying , we are mostly alone. I head straight for the dormitory stairs because I am anxious to retrieve my things before Ron and his friends return. Ginny drags her feet the whole way and I try not to get annoyed with her, but I'm in a hurry. When we reach the dorm I grab my potions book off my bed and shove it in my bag. I throw it over my shoulder and when I look at Ginny to see if she's ready, she's just sitting on her bed. "Ginny, what are you doing? Come on, we have to go. If I don't study for this..." 

Ginny cuts me off, "I... I think it was me." she says. 

"What was you?" I ask her, impatiently. 

"I think it was me that hurt Colin." she says, still sitting on her bed, but staring at her shoes. I am getting irritated with her at this point. 

"Jesus Ginny! What are you on about?" I ask her, feeling incredibly impatient. It's not till I really look at her that I realize I need to listen. She just sits there staring at her shoes and chewing on the end of a piece of her hair that she's twisted nervously around her thumb and forefinger. "Why would you say that?" 

"Because I think it's true, every time I lose time something bad happens." She tells me, still avoiding my gaze. 

"I don't know what you mean, what bad things?" I press, suddenly feeling that nagging feeling again that I was missing something I should understand. 

"The fist time was when Mrs. Norris...the second time Ron told me that several of the school chickens had been killed, said they thought it was a werewolf or something from the forbidden forest. This is the third time its happened, and now Colin...I think its the Diary, somehow...I just don't know but I think it's me, or I'm helping it. I think it's my fault." I can't believe she would even think this. Ginny isn't capable of any of these things, but I can see the conviction on her face and I know there is something eluding us both. 

Where's the Diary now?" I ask her. 

"It's in my trunk." she says weakly. 

"If you really think that Diary is making you do things you have to destroy it." I tell her looking around for something to to use on the infernal book. Ginny gets up and pulls it from her trunk. She carries it over to me like a bomb that could go off. My eyes settle on the small wood burning stove in the center of room. "In there, stick it in the fire, let it burn." I say, pointing at it. Ginny grabs the iron hook from the wall and pries open the door of the stove and sticks the book inside. At first it doesn't catch alight, we both standing there frozen, waiting for it to catch. Finally a bit of black smoke starts to surround the book and it looks like its smoldering. I feel myself start to relax for a second thinking the fire is starting to take hold of the evil thing. I'm wrong though, the book continues to issue a thick black smoke that only gets heavier and heavier. It starts to pour out of the furnace and reeks of sulfur, burning our eyes and making us both gag and choke on the smoke. The whole room is filling with smoke, I start to think the book is going to burn the whole tower down with us trapped in the room. "Ginny!" I try to shout but it comes out more of a choked cry. "Ginny, I can't see! Where are you?" 

I can hear her coughing and try to crawl in her direction. "Here" she chokes. "We have to.... out" is all she can manage. The smoke is so think, even trying to breath through my shirt is agony and the darkness makes it hard to figure out how to get out of the room. I drag myself along the floor, eyes closed to protect them from the smoke, towards the sound of Ginnys voice. My hand brushes up against her foot and I realize I have found her. My lungs are burning, I can't take another breath. Trying to orient myself I try to guide myself and Ginny towards where I think the dormitory door is. If we can only get out of the room, I'm sure we can escape the tower. We are both making our way in the direction I pray contains the exit when suddenly I hear a voice. 

"What the bloody hell are you two weirdos doing!" I hear the voice of Hattie Bones, our dorm mate say. Suddenly I am aware that I can breath again and I open my eyes, gasping for air, Ginny does the same. The smoke is gone, and it's like it never even happened. I am in such a state of shock that I am rendered speechless and just stare at Ginny as we both try and catch our breath. Hattie and her older sister Susan are both staring at us like we're mad and I can't even try to argue that, because for the moment I am even questioning my own sanity. 

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph Hattie, are they always like this?" Maybe you should owl Mum and see if the can change your dorm, that's madness that is!" Susan tells her little sister as they walk in to retrieve some items from Hatties trunk before leaving. Susan gives us both a look on the way out. 

We both just sit there together on the floor for a few minutes trying to catch out breath and figure out what just happens, then I see it. Tom Riddles Diary is sitting neatly on Ginny's bed, un singed by the fire. 

"


	20. Chapter 20

Ginny and I both knew the smoke had been a warning. We had threatened the Diary, and Tom was angry. It took us about an hour, and a great deal of courage to get up off the floor and store the Diary back in Ginny's trunk. Neither of us even wanted to touch it, but we couldn't leave it out for someone else to find. Poor Ginny looked scared to death when she finally found the courage to snatch it from her bed and quickly shove it to the bottom of her trunk. As soon as it was out of sight, we both scrambled out the dormitory door, down the stairs and out the common room door. We both kept walking quickly away from Gryffindor tower, needing to put some serious distance between us, and Tom Riddles Diary. My mind was racing, we needed help. We were in way over our heads. After about 10 minutes of walking we found ourselves at the Library entrance, it reminded me of our impending Potions exam tomorrow. I knew how important it was, but I didn't think I would be able to study at this point. We walked through the large double doors and found ourselves a quiet table in the back. 

"What are we going to do?" I asked Ginny. 

"I don't know." she replied, struggling to keep her composure. I could see she was on the edge, struggling to keep herself together. Her eyes were full of tears and her hand shook a little as she nervously twisted a lock of her red hair between her thumb and forefinger. 

"I know you don't want to ask anyone, but we need help Ginny. I think Tom Riddle is a lot more powerful than we could have imagined, I sure he could have killed us if he wanted to." She doesn't answer me, instead she continues to fiddle with her hair, staring off into space. "Ginny! We have to tell someone!" I raise my voice slightly. It seems to have gotten her attention because suddenly she's snapped back to earth. She glared at me and I am a little taken aback, she looks angry.

"We are not telling anyone! I should have never told you! She says accusingly, as if this were somehow my fault. "He got angry because of you! Now you want to run off and get me expelled!" Ginny's words have shocked and hurt me, not only is she still refusing to tell a teacher, she's now blaming me for what just happened. I don't want to get in trouble anymore than her. I have way more to lose than she ever would by being expelled. At least she would go home to a family that loves her.

"You told me because you're afraid of him, and rightfully so! He is evil and manipulating you. You think I want to be sent home? All I have done is try to help you! I'm not the one who started messing around with the diary in the first place!" She flinches as if I actually struck her and we both glare angrily at one another. I've never seen Ginny like this. Tom Riddle had just threatened both our lives and she was more concerned about getting expelled. I wanted to scream at her and tell her how severely Father made me pay for our friendship. How could she blame me? 

I was ready to let her have it, but suddenly she burst into tears. "I'm so sorry! You're right, this is all my fault. I don't know what to do, but Delia please don't tell anyone. I have to figure this out on my own. My whole family would be hurt if it came out that I was using Dark Magic at school. Think of my Father, he could loose is job. My brother Bill works for Gringotts..... The shame and inquisition that would be brought on them if anyone knew, it could ruin my whole family. I would rather die than live with that Delia." Ginny looked completely defeated. My anger with her quickly diminished, I understood her fears completely and she was right. Both of our families would suffer if this came out. My own family would also fall under suspicion and they didn't exactly have a reputation for being the most virtuous lot. We would both pay dearly if exposed. Perhaps she was right, death might be a kinder fate than the life I would be subjected to after this. 

"It's not your fault, none of this is your fault Ginny. I'm sorry, I was angry and I didn't mean to..." Now my own composure began to waver, I was scared and it was horrible to feel like we couldn't even ask for help without throwing our futures away and hurting our families. We had to figure out how to find a way to deal with Tom Riddle and his Diary, without raising any suspicion or getting ourselves killed. It seemed like an insanely tall order to me, but I didn't know what else to come up with. I desperately wished I could talk to Uncle Severus about it, I'm sure he would know what to do. It wasn't worth the risk though.

"Well, I guess we are in the right place if we want to dig for information on something." Ginny gestures around to the endless shelves of books in the library. I couldn't help but feel like it was futile. There were thousands of books surrounding us and neither of us had a clue where to even start. 

"Do you have any idea where we should even look? We could spend the next seven years looking in here and still never find a thing." I hadn't intended to sound so hopeless, but looking around was overwhelming. 

"I'll try looking for information on Tom Riddle and you start looking up enchanted objects and see if you can find something that sounds like our diary." In silent agreement we both went in separate directions looking for answers. I didn't dare ask Madam Pince for advice, aside from the fact that I didn't want to attract any attention to what we were looking for, she really was next to no help anyways. She was so preoccupied with worrying over the condition of all of the books that she scarcely answered a straight question. Instead she would prattle on about not creasing pages and having clean hands. It took me about fifteen minutes just to find the Magical and Enchanted Objects section and the shelves were limitless. I scanned the spines and grabbed about a dozen books that sounded like they had potential and parked myself at a table. Surveying the stack of books surrounding me, I was once again reminded that I was meant to be spending the day preparing for a Potions exam. I tried to wave away the anxiety given the seriousness of things, but I couldn't completely shake my fears. If I don't do well tomorrow I would have another crisis to deal with, but I had to push it out of my mind and stay focused. 

Hours passed before Ginny came my way, and she looked as if she had about as much success as I had, none. I sat behind the mountain of books I had compiled on the table in my quest and not one had yielded even a clue. My eyes were weary and stomach growled, we had missed lunch. Madam Pince had been eyeing me disapprovingly for well over an hour. I knew the chaotic mess of books I had created around me was the reason behind her looks, but I didn't have time to worry about it. 

"Any luck?" Ginny asked me unenthusiastically. 

"Nothing." I replied flatly. We had spent the greater part of the day in the Library scanning dusty old books and had come up with nothing. Without direction or guidance it was a needle in a haystack. "This is never going to work, how are we going to find anything when we don't even know what we're looking for?" 

"Well, if you have a better idea I would love to hear it." I had no reply, I felt like I just wasted my entire Sunday and I still had not studied for my Potions exam. While I was very concerned about our situation with the Diary, I also knew that if I failed the exam Ginny might have to figure Tom Riddle out on her own because Father would kill me himself. 

"Help me put these books back and let's go eat dinner. We can't look anymore tonight and I'm starving." Ginny looked at me irritatedly, but I pretended not to notice. She may be content to miss another meal and stay down here till Madam Pince booted her out for the night, but I was hungry and anxious to start studying. If I thought staying another two hours would make a difference I would have, but we were looking for a one in a million answer and that would take some serious time. 

Once we had replaced all the books in their rightful places and I was sure Madam Pince was no longer staring at me disapprovingly we left the library. 

"We can go back tomorrow after classes. We'll just have to go every day till we find the answers we need." Ginny said enthusiastically, as if she were Quidditch Captain and I was her Seeker. I didn't share her enthusiasm though and I was trying to think about how else we could figure this all out without looking suspicious or getting caught. Simply being a Malfoy was enough to make me appear suspicious as it was. 

"Fine, but after dinner I am studying for Potions and nothing else. It wouldn't hurt you to study too." Ginny didn't reply and something told me that studying for our exam was the furthest thing from her mind. Neither of us said anymore about it as we walked together to the the Great Hall. 

When we found our seats everyone seemed to be trading and inspecting various objects at the table, some of them more unpleasant than others. Neville Longbottom was seated with several items around him and the smell alone was enough to drive off a Banshee. 

"What is all of this and why does it have to smell so horrible in here!" The odor of rotting meat and rancid onions seemed to be everywhere and I was rapidly losing my appetite before I even sat down. 

"They're talismans and objects of protection." Neville said seriously. "Everyone is getting them to protect themselves from the Heir, you should have some too." He was right, everyone seemed to be collecting items as the tables were nauseatingly littered with them. 

"What good are rotting newt tails and putrid old onions against something as powerful and pernicious as the Heir of Slytherin?" I asked Neville, but half the table suddenly quieted and stared at me with distrust. I instantly regretted my words.I knew how most of them viewed me with my family history rooted in Slytherin. "I just mean, I don't think you should be giving yourself a false sense of security. Don't assume a bunch of old bits of rubbish would give you enough protection." I had tried to back pedal a little, but it seemed to be backfiring because the looks of suspicion even deepened. 

"You would know, wouldn't you. Your whole family is Slytherin, for all we know you might actually be related to someone behind it." Said Susan Bones from the Hufflepuff table. I could feel my cheeks blush with a mixture of hurt and embarrassment, anger welling up inside me quickly. 

"If you really thought I was such a threat I doubt you would have had the courage to say that to my face." I snapped at her. "You're so quick to run your mouth because you know it has nothing to me, but you can't just leave me alone!" I grabbed a bread roll off my plate as I stood up and threw it at her as hard as I could, smacking her square in the face. I only had about two seconds to enjoy my aim before I heard un unmistakable and angry voice behind me. 

"Miss Malfoy! What is the meaning of this!" Scolded Professor McGonagall as I turned slowly to face her. I could see she was not impressed. 

"It wasn't her fault!" Ron piped up surprisingly. "Susan Bones was having a go at her Professor." I was shocked to hear him defend me. I turned to look and saw Ginny was sharing the same stunned expression I was. 

"That doesn't give anyone the right to go hurling bread rolls through the dinning hall does it?" 

"No Ma'am, I'm sorry Professor, I should have better self control than that. It won't happen I again." I could see Professor Snape watching us from the teachers tables and hoped he wouldn't come over too and give me an earful. 

"Well, see to it, it doesn't happen again or you'll find yourself in detention." She said sternly and then left. I was incredibly relieved that I didn't get into any real trouble. I made the mistake of glancing back at the teachers table once more before sitting back down and I could see the disproving stare from my God Father. I expect I will still get an earful from him, but it could have been worse. 

"Sit down and ignore Susan, she's just being a HufflyPuffliy toad." Ginny said reassuringly. I could see most of the table had gone back to their conversations and the ones still looking at me seemed a lot less judgmental than they had a minute ago. Ron looked at me and smiled. 

"Bread roll?" he offered me the basket grinning. "Remember, no throwing." he wagged his finger in mock disapproval and mischievous smile. 

"Thanks." I told him, holding up the roll a bit and shooting Susan a wicked smile. I wasn't going to throw it at her, but I wanted to know I wasn't shaken by her snottiness. The rest of the meal was surprisingly pleasant. I could see Ginny was still distraught about the diary. Her twin brothers Fred and George assumed it was worry about Colin and everything else that had been happening and they were constantly being more annoying than reassuring. Her brother Percy had to finally threaten to owl their Mum before they would leave her alone. They were all much more friendly than they had been up till now and I really appreciated not feeling like so much of an outcast at my own house table. I probably should have thanked Susan, she inadvertently did me a favor by being so mean. 

After dinner I went directly up to Gryffindor Tower. I showered and threw on a cozy track suit so I could hunker down on my bed and study for Potions. Esme snuggled up with me purring loudly, It was as if she knew I needed a little extra love and was doing her very best to let me know she was here for me. As tired as I was, I knew I needed to spend at least the next few hours studying. After a little over an hour my eyes became too heavy and I fell asleep surrounded by my Potions books and notes.


	21. Chapter 21

I awoke completely flustered the next morning. I had every intention of staying up half the night studying and I had barely managed an hour. Thankfully I woke up early enough that I could still squeeze in an hour before classes began, if I hurried. I quietly found my clothing and went to the lavatory to change without waking the other girls. When I returned I silently deposited my pajamas on my bed and collected my Potions books and notes, most of which had fallen all over the floor in the night. Once my bag was packed I left Gryffindor Tower for the Great Hall. I figured I could have some tea and toast while I studied and the tables would be empty for a while still.

When I arrived, there were several teachers milling about drinking their coffee and chatting with one another and all the tables were empty with the exception of a single Ravenclaw and Hermione Granger. I was a little disappointed when I saw her, because she is not my favorite person and I was hoping to be alone, but her presence didn't mean I had to pay any attention to her. I set my books down a bit of a ways down from her and poured myself a cup of tea from the large pot on the table and smeared Marmite on some buttered toast. The Great Hall smelled of coffee, bacon and cinnamon, it was pleasant and comforting. Hermione too seemed to be studying for Potions, as I could tell by the books she had surrounded herself with. She didn't even look up from them and I was grateful, because it meant we didn't have to exchange insincere pleasantries. 

It was well over half an hour before another student came to our table and in that time I was fairly confident I had accomplished a great deal. I continued to keep myself solely focused on my notes and text books for the remaining part of breakfast. The only time I stopped was to acknowledge Ginny when she arrived.

"I woke up and you were already gone, I was worried about you." Ginny said concerned. "You know you shouldn't leave the common room alone, not with the Heir of Slytherin roaming about the school." She was right, I hadn't even thought about it till now. I was so focused on my Potions grade and Tom Riddle that I had barely even given the threat of The Heir much thought. 

"I guess the fear of failing Potions had pushed the thought from my mind. You're right, did you study?" I asked her and she gave me a nervous smile that said it all.

The day carried on rather smoothly, but I was nervously trying to cram as much in for my exam till the very last minute. When it was finally time for Potions a part of me was more nervous than ever and another part was grateful it was nearly time to just get it over with. 

Professor Snape looked rather cross and was quick to shout that class into silence when we all arrived. 

"For your exam this morning I will expect each of you to brew a Wiggenweld Potion from memory and write an essay on its history and uses. There shall be no talking and messing about. Any student foolish enough to look at their neighbors work area or parchment will find themselves with a zero. You may begin." He said sternly. I could hear some of the students gasp a little when he announced the assignment. It was a rather complicated Potion for First Years, but it was a potion we had covered and I felt fairly confident. I glanced over at Ginny before I began and could see the look of worry on her face. I don't think she studied at all and now there was nothing to be done. 

I set about my task by fist selecting and laying out all of my ingredients and tools that I would need to make sure I didn't forget anything. I lit my cauldron and once the flame was low and the cauldron nicely warmed I added the Horklump juice and waited for it to simmer. While I was waiting I began my essay. I slowly added the ingredients one by one, given the cauldron time to recover between each ingredients. When I was younger, my Mother and God Father used to brew all sorts of interesting potions together, particularly things for Mothers garden. I loved sitting on Mother's lap while she was busy at her cauldron. She would talk to me all about what she was using and how to prepare and add each ingredient. I was nearly done well before the end of class, but judging from the smell coming from Ginny's cauldron, things were not going as well for her. About 15 minutes before class was over I had finished my potion, handed in my essay and began to tidy my work area. A few minutes later there was a bit of commotion coming from the front row and Abel Jenkins cauldron was emitting a horrible purple smoke that smelled like rotting fruit. The whole class began to complain about the smell before Professor Snape quickly waved his wand over the cauldron and vanished the mess, shaking his head disapprovingly at Abel. I thought poor Abel might cry, but he didn't. Snape shouted for the whole class to "silence" themselves and they all went back to finishing their exams. 

Almost everyone finished in time, but a few of them seemed to be very anxious about themselves. I was finally relaxed and not stressing about my exam when Professor Snape, who was busy grading the finished exams said "Miss Malfoy, remain after class." without even looking up from his work. I must have messed up my exam! I was sure I had gotten all of the ingredients correct and added them in the proper order. It looked right to me when it was done, yet I was being made to stay after class. Not even Abel was being told to remain after class and he completely bungled the whole thing up. I had been so confident that I had done well and now it seemed I was horribly mistaken.

When the class was dismissed I remained in my seat, Ginny looked at me worriedly as she left. When the room was finally empty except for the two of us, he waved his wand at the doors and they shut. "Do you know why I asked you to remain after class Delia?" He asked me with annoyance in his voice.

"I suspect I didn't do very well on my exam Sir." I replied looking at him and trying to not let my nerves get carried away.

"No, it has nothing to do with your exam. You performed at the top of the class, you have your mothers ability with potions. I told you to remain behind because you seemed to have already forgotten an order you were given by your Father just this weekend. Do you remember what that was?" He asked me crossly.

"Yes Sir." I knew he was talking about Ginny and Father forbidding me to be friends with her any longer. I hadn't forgotten, I just couldn't bring myself to give up my only friend, especially now.

"If you have not forgotten then may I as you why it is that you are so blatantly ignoring an order from your Father? Do you realize what your Father would do if he saw you completely ignoring his demand!" I knew exactly what he would do, I just couldn't give up my friendship with her no matter how much I feared Father's anger. 'I made a promise to your Father when you came here that I would act in his absence the way he would. You and I both know if Lucius were here he would whip you severely for such defiance." I could see both anger and frustration on my Godfathers face and I expected he would be producing Fathers cane any minute. I felt shaky, I had never received more than a mild spanking from Uncle Severus and even that had been years ago.

His angry expression softened ever so slightly when he saw my fear and anxiety. "If I see you with Miss. Weasley anymore Delia I will have no choice but to punish you, am I clear?" relief washed over me knowing I wouldn't be feeling the sting of the cane, at least not today. "You may go." and just like that the conversation was over and I was dismissed. I left his classroom quickly before he had a change of heart. Ginny was waiting for me when I opened the door to leave. I quickly motioned to her to be quiet and grabbed her by the arm, running quickly from Snape's classroom before he heard us and summonsed me back. I would have to talk to Ginny. I had no intention of giving uo on our friendship, but I was going to have to explain to her that I had to keep a low profile for now. Hopefully she wouldn't be hurt or angry with me over it. I had to do something. I had finally felt like I was being accepted by some of the Gryffindors, I didn't want to do ruin things by hurting Ginny. 

Before I even had time to figure out how I was going to tell her about it she started babbling on about a "Dueling Club". She was so excited, Professor Lockhart was starting a Dueling club. 

"You have to sign up for the club! I think it should be very exciting to have a Dueling Club with Professor Lockhart." Ginny seemed more excited about spending time with Lockhart than she did about the actual dueling. It did seemed like a practical idea, with all of the attacks going on around the school, it would be wise for students to be a little better prepared to defend themselves against trouble. It might even be good for Ginny and I, I wasn't sure when we might have to defend ourselves again from Tom Riddle. We still had to figure out how to get rid of him without getting ourselves killed. 

"What did Professor Snape want?" I didn't want to tell, her yet. I hadn't figured out how to put it into words without hurting her. 

"He wanted to speak to me about something my Father had said is all." 

"Was he angry with you? He didn't look very happy when I left, not that Professor Snape ever really looks happy, but you know what I mean. Are you in some kind of trouble with him or your Father? I know he and your father are friendly." 

"Professor Snape is my Godfather, and you are sworn to secrecy on that Ginny Weasley." She looked like her eyes were going to pop out of her head. 

"Your Godfather.... Professor Snape is your Godfather and I am only now hearing this? Delia! You're my best friend and you are only now telling me that our Potions Professor is your Godfather. Why would you want to hide that from me?" 

"I wasn't hiding it from you, I was hiding it from the whole school. Look at how they view me for being a Malfoy. Add being the God Daughter of Professor Snape and everyone would look at me even worse than they already do." 

"I guess. I'm not going to tell anyone, so don't worry. We need to really hurry up or we are going to be late for Herbology." I was glad when she changed the subject and we both hurried along to Green House 2


	22. Chapter 22

By lunch I still had not spoken to Ginny about my need to keep our friendship quiet around Professor Snape. The whole table was chattering on about the Dueling Club, everyone seemed keen to join. All the girls were gushing about Professor Lockhart, while the boys couldn't wait to out duel one another. I would have enjoyed the conversation a lot more if I wasn't aware Professor Snape was watching me disapprovingly from the teachers tables. It didn't take me long to decide to make myself a quick sandwich at the table and excuse myself. Ginny asked me if I was alright and I just smiled at her and told her that I left my Transfiguration notes in the dorm and wanted to fetch them before our next class. I didn't want her to leave with me. I wanted Professor Snape to think I was putting distance between us. Thankfully she seemed satisfied with my story and remained behind with everyone else to discuss the Dueling Club.

I had just exited the Great Hall when I heard Draco call out my name. He was also leaving the Great Hall, but looked to be in a bit of a hurry and I realized it was because he was trying to catch up to me.

"You do realized that Uncle Severus was watching you the whole time you were in there don't you. He's going to tell Father if you don't stay away from her, why are you so willing to suffer for her friendship?" I know Draco is only saying this because he cares. I just wish he could understand. 

”I know you don’t understand, because you have always been surrounded by people who have wanted to be your friend. I have never had a real friend before in my life. Ginny is the only person who has ever wanted to be my friend Draco and I can’t. Besides, Father always finds fault in whatever I do, if I give up my friendship with her, he’ll only find another reason to be angry with me.” I could see Draco was just trying to protect me from Father. We both knew that I was right though, if it wasn’t Ginny it would be something else. 

"If you would just spend more time with me, instead of always hanging out with Ginny Weasley maybe you would make friends with someone Father would approve of."

"Like who Draco? Pansy? Millicent? Crabbe and Goyle? I have known them all of my life and they have never been friendly, why would they be now? They didn't like me before I was in Gryffindor, they certainly don't like me now" 

"I'm just trying to help, I don't want to see you leave school over something you could overcome. At least spend more time with me for a while. Even if it's just to convince Uncle Severus and Father that you're trying to surround yourself with people Father would prove of." I could see he was really just trying to protect me from of Fathers injustice, I just wished my friendship with Ginny didn't create so much drama. He was right, if I spent more time with him, it would look as though I was trying to spend less time with Ginny, it could help, it definitely couldn't hurt. 

"I suppose it could help, it's not easy being in a different year and a different house though. I hardly see you much as it is." 

"Well, at least start taking meals with me at the Slytherin tables. It will be a good start. I will try to make time for you on the weekends too." Draco reached out and tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear affectionately. As much as he made me mad sometimes, I really loved my big brother and knowing how much he wanted to protect me from Father made me love him even more. 

"Okay, but I don't want to make Pansy jealous." I grinned at him mischievously, Pansy Parkinson had, had a crush on Draco since we were very little. Even though he didn't share her affection, he was easily embarrassed by the mention of it. 

"I'll deal with Pansy if she does. Did you receive an owl from Mother or Father today? I received one this morning and Father said I would be remaining at school for the Christmas Holidays.” he said looking a little confused. Christmas at Malfoy Manor was a major event, many of the most noble pure blood family’s came to the Manor for the Christmas Ball. Why would Father tell Draco not to come home for the holiday? I hoped that meant that I too would be expected to remain at school. Christmas at Hogwarts sounded much more cheerful than Christmas at Malfoy Manor, especially after Fathers threat of not permitting me to return. 

”Did Father say why? I asked him. Draco reached into his robe pocket and produced the letter he had received from our Father. 

"He just said that he and Mother would be indispose for the Christmas holiday. I don't think I ever remember a Christmas without a Christmas Ball. I wonder where they are going." he said handing me the letter. I quickly scanned it, there was no more information about Christmas, and no mention of me. Perhaps I would receive a letter too, who knows. Christmas was three weeks away still. 

"I didn't receive a letter, what do you think that means?" 

"Maybe it just means they have not sent yours yet, don't think too much on it, I only received mine this morning." he was trying to sound reassuring, but I could hear the skepticism in his voice. 

"Maybe...." I really didn't have any other answer, but I really hoped I would hear that I would be spending Christmas at school. Many of the students had begun to leave the Great Hall for their next class. 

"I've got to run, I have Herbology and its a bit of a hike to the Green Houses. I'll see you at dinner okay?" he smiled at me as he hoisted his bag over his shoulder and started off to his class. 

I started to make my way to Transfigurations, but I couldn't get Draco's letter out of my mind. I had a nagging feeling that there was something really wrong about it. My parents made a huge deal over the Annual Ball, it was a major event in Pureblood society. I found it hard to believe they were just going to cancel it this year, unless there was something seriously wrong. Why would Draco be expected to stay at school and not me? I realized I was letting my anxiety get the better of me, after all, Draco only received his letter this morning. Perhaps I would receive on tomorrow. If I didn't then I would owl Mother at the end of the week and find out either way. 

I took my usual seat in Transfigurations and was still lost in though over Christmas when Ginny sat down. 

"We are going to the Library after this, right?" Ginny asked me. I hadn't really thought about it, and spending another evening in the Library searching for a clue on the diary didn't appeal to me at all, but I reluctantly agreed. 


	23. Chapter 23

The library was quiet and as soon as we arrived Ginny and I went our separate ways. She in search of Tom Riddle, and I to search for anything that could explain the diary. I knew the importance of this, we had to find an answer, but the challenge of it all having no clues as to where to even begin left me feeling frustrated and unmotivated. I spent hours pouring through more books in the Magical and Enchanted objects section. Madam Prince did not seem happy to see me again, even after I made sure to treat ever book with care and replace them exactly as I found them. I couldn't help but feel a little paranoid, wondering if perhaps she was watching me because she somehow suspected I was up to something. 

Book after book, nothing sounded at all like the Diary. I found information on enchanted mirrors, where your reflection could speak to you. Enchanted books that could tell you a story about your wildest dreams, pocket watches that could warn their owners of impending obligations and candles that would never burn down, but I found nothing about evil diaries that could try and kill you. I think the key is finding out who Tom Riddle is, perhaps that would give us a clue about the diary.

My mind wandered while I searched, I couldn't get Draco's letter from Father out of my mind. Why would Draco be expected to stay at school and not me. If anything, I would have expected the later, unless Father was planning on keeping me home. If that was the case, if I was to remain at the Manor then maybe it was worth risking my life with Tom Riddle first. Living at home with Father after this would be a living hell, Father would punish me for his perceived shame I brought on him and there would be no one to witness. Maybe that was why Draco was not coming home, Father didn't want him to know what he had in store for me. The thought was frightening.

I longed to tell Ginny about all of the worries that plagued my soul. I wanted to tell her about Draco's letter and my anxiety over Christmas. I wanted to tell her about Father beating me for our friendship and Uncle Severus' threats if it continued. I didn't want her to feel sorry for me or to hurt her feelings, I just wanted to be able to talk to her about it and not feel completely alone. I wanted her to know that I probably wouldn't be here after Christmas and if that happened I doubted I would ever see her again. I just couldn't bring myself to tell her any of it though, I was too ashamed. I knew Draco was trying very hard to be there for me and make me feel loved, but Ginny was my best friend. I knew I would have to tell her once I knew for sure if I was going home. I owed her that, to say goodbye. I would have to ask her to keep my beloved Esme safe for me. I knew I could never bring her home, Father would know how much it would hurt me to loose her and her would enjoy taking her from me. It wouldn't be safe for her at Malfoy Manor and she loved Ginny.

I was allowing myself to get too wrapped up in my own uncertainty and I had to remind myself to stay focused. If I really was leaving here in three weeks than I had to do my best to help Ginny now. I couldn't leave her alone with the secret of the Diary, she would be in too much danger. I shook off my own self pity and distraction and dove deeper in my quest to find information on the diary. I had to find answers to keep her safe, before it was too late. Hours had passed before Ginny appeared next to my table, several books in hand.

"I found a whole lot of nothing, how about you." she asked me.

"Nothing I'm afraid." we were both disappointed but not surprised, the magnitude of our search was overwhelming and we would have to just keep chipping away at it till we found something. 

We both checked out several book to continue our research in the dorm after dinner. I told Ginny on our way to deposit the books at Gryffindor Tower that I needed to have dinner with my brother this evening. I told her that he had asked to to sit with him to discuss some family plans for the holidays and she seemed to buy my story.

"I don't think I could handle sitting over there with all those Slytherin's, are you sure you're going to be ok?" 

"I'll be fine, they may not be the friendliest lot, but I have known most of them all my life. I am sure there is a limit to how rude they can be to me with Draco right there." 

"I have such a hard time picturing Draco Malfoy being the nice big brother you talk about." I actually laughed out loud when she said it. 

"I love Draco, he's my older brother and he does try, but we definitely have our moments. Especially at home." 

"I hear you, I have a house full of older brothers. It gets old with all their stinky stuff and caveman ways." She said giggling a little. It wasn't that for me. At home, Draco tried too much to be like our Father and sometimes that meant being as cold and mean spirited. I smiled at her statement, I had no desire to get into the personal nature of our conflicts at home. 

Ginny and I quickly dropped off our things and went straight down to the Great Hall for supper. The school had issued a mandate that all students were to travel the halls together in a group since the attacks and the other students seemed to be traveling in small herds. 

"Did you sign up for the Dueling Club yet?" Ginny asked me as we neared the Hall. 

"No, I will tonight after dinner, I think the sign up sheet is still posted outside the Great Hall." I had intended to sign up, but with everything else I had forgotten. 

"Don't forget! This is the last day for sign ups, the first meeting is tomorrow evening." hopefully the Club would offer the opportunity to learn a few valuable skills, if not I had hoped it would at least be an amusing distraction from everything else that was going on right now. 

As soon as we arrived at the Great Hall we went our separate ways. As I approached Draco's table I felt a bit of apprehension. Pansy was doing her best to stare me down as I got closer. I knew she had a mad crush on Draco and she never appreciated my presence, she didn't want him paying any attention to anyone else. I don't know she never saw how foolish and petty her thinking was, he is my older brother for pities sake. However she looked at it, I was an unwelcome intrusion and she would go out of her way to make me feel unwelcome. 

"Scoot down a bit, will you Pansy. I've asked my sister to join us for dinner." Pansy begrudgingly slid down the bench to make room for me next to Draco, but she was sure glare at me as she did. I couldn't help taking a little pleasure in taking her spot next to him and giving her a smile dripping with insincerity. She has gone out of her way to make me feel unwelcome since we were toddlers. 

"So nice you could join us." she said through pursed lips, not even trying to sound pleasant. Draco either didn't notice, or didn't care to notice, because he carried on as if it were nothing. 

"What have you been doing all evening? I was looking for you earlier. Are you going to join the Dueling Club? I've already put my name on the list, but I didn't see yours. Mind you, half the school has signed up." he asked me, offering me a plate of roast lamb. 

"I haven't yet, but I will. I'll sign up after dinner." 

"You'd better, I expect it will be a lot of fun and you need to keep yourself safe." he said seriously. 

"Yes Draco." I said smiling at his protective comment. 

Dinner with Draco was fairly pleasant, I had to deal with a few comments regarding my house and the opportunity for personal conversation was non existent with Pansy hanging on our every word. Still, it wasn't nearly as awkward as I had expected. Watching Vincent eat was gross, he reminded me of a voracious bulldog, even Draco pulled a face and told him "Try not to be such a savage, will you Crabbe. You're putting my sister off her dinner". Vincent just stared confusedly at Draco when he chided him, he really didn't have a clue. Pansy made it a point to make a few snide comments about the Gryffindors, even singling out the Weasleys and their financial status. 

"Hard to believe they are Purebloods when they look like peasants with that horrible red hair and second hand everything. I would be so embarrassed I wouldn't even come to Hogwarts." she said grinning at me. She knew Ginny and I were friends and I suspected her dig was really aimed at me, in a feeble attempt to upset me.To my surprise Draco decided to change the subject rather that fuel the fire that was beginning to smolder between Pansy and I. I guess as much as Draco dislikes the Weasleys, he didn't want me causing a scene by defending them. 

"We will walk you back to Gryffindor Tower when you're finished eating, can't have you walking back on your own." 

"Can't she walk back with some of the Gryffindors Draco?" Pansy whined. "I still have an Essay to finish for History of Magic." I knew she really just couldn't stand the though of being made to escort Draco's little sister through the castle. 

"No, she cannot Pansy. You're welcome to walk back to Slytherin House on your own if you need to." Draco told her with a small flash of irritation. He too was tiring of her pettiness. Pansy looked as if she might lose it, then suddenly she pulled back her emotions and remained quiet for the rest of the meal. Thank goodness too because I wasn't sure how much more calm I had left with her. 

On our way out of the Great Hall Draco reminded me to put down my name for the Dueling Club and then he, Vincent, Gregory and a pouting Pansy Parkinson escorted me up to my House. 

"Thank you." I told them when we arrived at the Portrait of the Fat Lady. 

"No worries, see you at breakfast." Draco said as the turned to leave. I saw Pansy flinch when he mentioned I would be joining them for another meal and I couldn't help but smile at her discomfort. Hopefully I wouldn't have a hard time explaining myself to Ginny. With Draco expecting me to take all of my meals with him, eventually she was bound to feel hurt.


	24. Chapter 24

The next morning I woke up exhausted, Ginny and I stayed up way too late searching the books we had checked out of the Library and still no new clues. I asked Ginny if she minded me eating breakfast with Draco, I told her we still had things to go over about Christmas. I could see she was a little disappointed, but she said she didn't mind. I would need to tell Draco I couldn't eat every meal with him, I just hoped he didn't get upset with me. I knew he didn't really approve of me being friends with Ginny either, and I didn't expect him to be very understanding. I just hoped I would recieve a letter from Mother or Father today telling me to remain at school for the Christmas break. I would be overjoyed at such news, and relieved at the thought that I could possibly finish my year at Hogwarts. I showered and dressed, putting on an extra jumper under my robes because of the cold and hurried Ginny along so we wouldn't be late.

"Ginny, will you come on! We are going to miss breakfast!." Ginny grumbled but hurried up a bit.

"I'm so tired Delia, can't you just sneak me a muffin? I'll eat it in between classes." she whined.

"Come on, you're nearly out the door already, if you take a bit of tea with your breakfast you might wake up some." I told her half dragging her towards the door. She continued to complain the whole way to the Great Hall, but when I left her she at least seemed content to go sit with Ron and eat.

"Where have you been?" Draco half scolded me when I arrived at his table. Pansy instantly slid down to let me in. 

"I'm sorry Draco, I stayed up too late last night studying."

"Well, you shouldn't neglect yourself like this Delia. You need to sleep and eat properly." he continued to speak to me as if I were a small child and I tried to not get irritated with him.

"I'm sorry." I said to him again, hoping he would be satisfied. He returned his focus back to eating and arguing with Blaise Zabini, whom he was accusing of cheating him in a game of Wizards' Chess. Draco takes games too seriously, especially Wizards' Chess. I stopped playing with him years ago because he was such a sore looser. I don't think Father really approved of me beating him anyway, he always looked irritated by it.

I picked at my breakfast and had two large cups of tea with cream and sugar to give myself a boost. My eyes kept scanning the room for our owl Nigel, hoping he would bring me news from my parents. I wasn’t much conversation, but Draco's attention was with his friends. When it was finally time to leave the Hall I was disappointed. I had not received any mail from home, I would have to continue to wait and hope.

"I didn't get any post." I said to Draco as we were getting up to leave.

"Give it time, Delia. I'm sure you'll hear from Mother this week." he said reassuringly as he followed Blaise and Pansy out of the Hall.

I couldn't help but be worried about Mother and Fathers silence after telling Draco to remain at school. I had classes to get to though, so I didn't have too much time to dwell on it. I saw Ginny heading towards the entrance and waited for her so we could walk together. She smiled when she saw me waiting at the door for her.

"Did you get everything sorted with your brother?" she asked me as we walked towards Potions.

"I think so, we may have a few more things to work on. It's really hard to talk to him about anything important when he is surrounded by the likes of Pansy Parkinson and Vincent Crabbe, she's a beast and he is as dull as a doorknob." we both had a bit of a laugh on our way through the halls, but our jovial mood was quickly shuttered when we walked into class. 

Uncle Severus was sitting behind his desk, starting critically at Ginny and myself. As we quietly took our seats Ginny finally leaned over and whispered to me. "What's his problem?" aware of his mood.

"He's probably just in a bad mood is all." I said, avoiding her questioning look. Thankfully he quickly barked at the whole class to take their seats and keep quiet. I hoped this didn't mean I would be expected to stay after class again. I knew he had seen me with Draco, hopefully it was enough to appease him.

Thankfully I was not asked to remain after class, but Professor Snape gave us an insane amount of homework. We had to write him an essay on the twelve uses of Dragons Blood, to be handed in by Friday. We wouldn't have much time at all to be looking through the library till it was finished. 

"Why does he always have to be so cross?" Ginny asked me.

"He's not always.... he's not as bad as he makes himself out to be."

"Well, that's pretty hard to imagine. All of my brothers had him and they each said he is a tough as nails." my Godfather was such a mystery sometimes. While I knew there was a side to him that students never saw, he was always so strict and stern at school.

When it was time for lunch I told Ginny I had to quickly tell Draco something and to save me a seat at Gryffindors tables. I wanted to walk over and tell him I had some things to work on and needed to share notes with some of the first years at my table. I silently prayed Draco would just accept that and not get too bent out of shape, I didn’t however have much faith that the conversation would be that simple. 

As soon as I approached the Slytherin table Pansy glared at me and slid down. When I didn’t immediately take the seat, Draco stopped talking to Goyle and turned to look at me. “Well, sit down.” He said a little annoyed and turned back to Goyle to finish his conversation. 

“Draco, I...um...I don’t think I’m going to sit here for lunch today if you don’t mind. I have a lot of work to do and I wanted to share notes with some of the other first years at my table. Professor Snape..” before I could finish my statement Draco cut me off. 

“ Sit down Delia, if you need something I am sure someone here can lend it to you.” he spoke in Fathers cool, controlled tone. It made me uneasy, but I had already told Ginny I would be right back. I glanced over to Gryffindor table to see her looking in my direction. Draco turned to see who I was looking at and when he realized it was Ginny I could see the tops of his ears redden in anger. “You’re not going over there, so sit down.” 

Who did he think he was? He may be acting like Father but he certainly was not my Father and the condescending tone in his voice only made me angrier. I turned to walk away, but as I did Draco’s hand shot up and grabbed the sleeve of my robe. His eyes were full of fury, I knew he was embarrassed at my defiance as well as angry. “If you go over there you’re going to be sorry Delia. I am your older brother and told you that you're to sit here now.” 

“Acting like a bully doesn’t make you Father Draco and you can’t tell me what to do. Why are you acting like this?” 

“I will speak to you later, do whatever you want, just be sure you’re willing to live with the consequences.” He turned away from me but I could tell he was incredibly angry. Why did he have to be this way. One minute he would be kind and the next minute he would treat me like Father does. I stormed back over to the Gryffindor table, embarrassed by how many students were looking at me after my conversation with my brother. To make it worse, I could see Professor Snape had been watching the entire exchange. 

When I sat down at the table next to Ginny she looked at me confused, “What was that all about?” She asked me worriedly. 

“It’s nothing, he’s just being Draco.” I wanted to just play it off in hopes it would just not be as big of a deal as I feared it was. 

“He looked really mad, are you sure it’s ok?” 

“It’s fine, it’s nothing. Let’s not talk about my moody brother.” I asked her eager to not think on it. 

Ginny didn’t bring it back up and thankfully the excitement of this evenings first meeting of the Dueling Club was what everyone wanted to talk about. The entire house was planning on attending. I just couldn’t contemplate how we were going to work on our Potions essay, go to the library and attend Dueling Club, and I didn’t have much of an appetite after Draco was so horrible. I didn’t think he would tell Father, he wasn’t trying to be cruel. I think he thought he was saving me from myself, but I embarrassed him in front of his friends and that could create a problem. Every time I glanced up at the teachers table I could see Professor Snape watching disapprovingly. 

I wrapped a cheese sandwich in my napkin and shoved it in the pocket of my robe, skipping dinner altogether might be better than trying keep the peace. I could just say I wasn’t hungry and had an essay to write, nobody could argue with that. It would also, give me time to work on my essay for Professor Snape with out interruption. I was already on thin ice with my God Father, no point in stoking the fire with a poorly worded essay. 


	25. Chapter 25

At eight o'clock it was time to go to the Great Hall for the start of the Dueling Club. We ended up walking down with her brother Ron and his friends Hermione and Harry, because it was after dark. It was hardly necessary, the halls were filled with students heading in our same direction. Hermione and Ginny were both gushing over Lockhart instructing while Harry and Ron both rolled their eyes. I followed them along quietly listening to their back and forth banter. Ron teased Ginny and Hermione about Lockhart and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy over Ginnny's easy relationship with her brothers. They were protective of her, yet always kind and affectionate. Nothing was a simple with Draco, he was kind at times, but his desire for Fathers approval drove him be be just like our Father. We were never this comfortable with each other in my family. 

The Great hall was packed with students. All of the tables were gone and replaced by a large stage running the full length of the wall. Once everyone was inside the room Professor Lockhart came forward, gesturing everyone into silence. "Gather round, gather round! Can you all see me? Excellent. "Now, Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little Dueling club, to train you all up should you every need to defend yourselves as I myself have done on countless occasions- for full details see my published works. 

"Let me introduce my assistant Professor Snape." Lockhart announced grinning, Uncle Severus looked anything but amused. "He tells me he knows a tiny bit about dueling himself and has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration before we begin. Now, I don't want any of you worrying, You'll still have your Potions master when I'm through with him." I couldn't help but grin to myself, if only Professor Lockhart knew what he was getting himself into. I had seen Father and Uncle Severus Dueling for fun in our garden many times. To say he knew a tiny bit about dueling was like saying a hawk knew a tiny bit about flying. Dueling was his element and he even got the better of Father on most occasions. 

Lockhart and Snape walked in opposite directions for a few paces and then turned to face one another on the stage. Professor Lockhart bowed with an exaggerated flourish, while Professors Snape's nod was barely visible. "On the count of three we will cast our first spells." stated Lockhart, I couldn't take my eyes off of Uncle Severus, I knew this would be good. 

They both raised their wands on three, but Snape spoke first. "Expelliarmus!", the flash from his wand sent Professor Lockhart tumbling down the stage with his wand flying out of his hand. He looked winded and rather disheveled, but uninjured. Harry, Ron and I both laughed at the sight of it all. Hermione looked incredibly concerned. 

"Do you think he's alright?" she asked. 

"Who cares?" said Ron and Harry together. 

I could see Draco and his friends all laughing and cheering for Uncle Severus. "Lockhart doesn't, know who he's playing with." I told Ginny, but we didn't take our eyes of the two Professors for we may miss something entertaining if they continued. 

"Well, there you have it!" Professor Lockhart exclaimed as he staggered to get up. "That was a Disarming Charm and as you can see I have lost my wand. Ah, Thank you, Miss Brown. Yes, an excellent idea to show them that Professor, but if you don't mind me say it was too obvious what you were about to do and had I wanted to stop you, it would have been all too easy. However, I felt it would be instructive to let them see. 

Uncle Severus looked furious and I think Professor Lockhart must have noticed because suddenly he was pairing up all of the students so that they could practice amongst each other. "Enough demonstrating, Professor Snape, if you could please help me sort them into pairs. 

When Professor Snape came to our group I could tell by the look in his eyes he was relishing his thought. "Let's mix this up a little, what do you say? Weasley, you can partner with Finnagan." he said gesturing to Ron. "Potter" he said will a cool smile "How about.... Mr. Malfoy, come over here. Let's see what you can make of the Famous Harry Potter. Miss Granger, you can partner with Miss Bulstrode. Miss Malfoy, you can parter with Miss Moreau." Lilith Moreau, a dark haired Slytherin girl came strutting over. She looked much more pleased by our pairing than I was. Her long slender pale arms crossed in front of her, she grinned at me maliciously and I couldn't help to notice how much she reminded me of my Aunt Bellatrix. She wore the same unhinged grin I had seen in several portraits through out the Manor. 

"Face your partners and bow!" Lilith and I barely acknowledge this and I was nervous to take my eyes off of her. "When I count to three, cast your charms to disarm your opponents, only to disarm them. We don't want any accidents. One... two..." before he even said three Draco cast his first spell at Harry, which sent him flying and all the Slytherins laughing. 

Harry quickly stood up and while Draco was too busy gloating over his unsporting behavior, Harry cast his own charm. "Rictusempra!" which knocked Draco flip flopping backwards, knocking the wind out of him. When Draco recovered the two of them went at it and the rest of us were expected to begin with our own partner. Lilith hit me with a leg lock curse, as soon as I could regain control over my legs I blasted her full on with an engorgement charm. Her fingers and body swelled up nicely and I prepared my defense for her next attack. Meanwhile to my right, Millecent and Hermione were no longer dueling, but rolling around on the ground and Millecent had what looked like a small garden mouse or perhaps a large clump of Hermione's hair held tightly in her fist. All in all it was looking more like an outright brawl than anything as civilized as dueling. 

"Stop! Stop! I think perhaps it would be wise to first teach you all how to block unfriendly spells." Professor Lockhart said surveying the battle field. "Lets have a volunteer pair, Longbottom, Flinch-Fletchley..." 

"Bad idea Professor Lockhart, Longbottom's wand causes devastation with even the simplest of spells. We'll be sending Finch-Fletchley to the hospital wing in a matchbox." Neville looked so embarrassed I felt bad for him. "How about Malfoy and Potter." said Professor Snape with sinister grin. I knew exactly what he was doing and hoped Lockhart had enough sense to see it too. Not surprisingly he had no clue what my dear God Father was doing and was just a willing pawn in the setup I could see coming together in front of us all. 

Draco's distain for Harry was written all over his face and I could tell that Professor Snape was also enjoying the potential disaster that lie ahead. Unfortunately Lockhart was too much of a twit to see it. 

'Excellent Idea!" he replied, gesturing for Harry and Draco to come up to the stage. Both boys stared at one another venomously, I knew Draco was already planning something but when Uncle Severus bent down and whispered something into his ear, their conspiratory grins said it all. 

"Serpensortia!" Draco shouted and a shockingly large black cobra erupted from his wand. Landing angrily between them, the snake was poised to strike, hissing and raising itself up high. The other students all gasped and I even heard a few screams. 

"Don't move Potter, I'll get rid of it." announced Professor Snape, obviously enjoying Harry's stunned silence. 

"Allow me!" Professor Lockhart shouted as he produced his wand. There was a loud bang that sent the snake flying straight up in the air before landing with a heavy thud on the stage. Things went from alarming to down right terrifying as the snake reacted angrily from being tossed through the air. It rose up high, hissing and baring its fangs and headed directly for Justin Finch-Fletchly. 

Suddenly Harry moved towards the snake, he opened his mouth to speak, but what came out was not words it was a hissing language that the snake immediately responded to. Everyone in the room stood and watched in horror as Harry spoke to the snake in its own language. It seemed as though Harry was encouraging the snake to attack, grinning stupidly at all of us. Professor Snape walked over and with a wave of his wand vanished the snake. Justin looked angry now, instead of the terrified expression he wore seconds ago. "What do you think you're playing at!" Justin yelled at Harry as Ron and Hermione were dragging him out of the Great Hall. 

I knew what everyone was thinking, I was wondering the same thing as everyone else. The symbol of Slytherin House is a serpent because Salazar Slytherin was a Parselmouth. It was a very rare and unique gift that had never belonged to anyone beyond a select few Slytherins through out history. Was it possible that Harry was really the Heir of Slytherin? He wasn't even pureblood, his Mother was a Muggle born. I couldn't imagine how, but being a Parselmouth would definitely throw him under a dark shadow of suspicion. I looked around for Ginny, her brother and Harry were good friend and I wondered if Ginny had known. I found her standing with Neville Longbottom and this flighty girl named Luna. 

”Did you know? Did you know Harry was a Parselmouth? I asked her. 

”No, and from the look on their faces I don’t think Ron and Hermione did either.” Ginny looked completely besides herself. 

”What do you think it means?” Neville asked us both anxiously. 

”It doesn’t mean anything, Harry is a good person and that’s all.” Ginny told him, I wasn’t sure she was convinced by her own words however. 

As we headed back to our common rooms, the groups of students were much more subdued then they had been just an hour ago. It was as if the shock of Harry speaking in Parseltounge had knocked the wind right out of their sails. It seemed to have frightened them all even more. When we arrived in the common room there no sign of Harry, Ron or Hermione, but everyone spoke in hushed voices. It was obvious they were all talking about Harry. A part of me was glad they had someone else to be suspicious of instead of me. Ginny looked sadly around and when she saw they were nowhere to be found she mounted the steps to our dorm. 

I didn’t know if I needed to try and comfort her or if she was fine. Ginny looked up to Harry a great deal, and I’m sure this made her feel a bit conflicted right now. I decided it was better to follow her up and make sure she was ok, then to assume it was fine. 

I found her upstairs, sitting on her bed with Esme purring away in her lap. My Esme must be the most intuitive cat there ever was, she always seemed to know when her affection was in need. When I walked in Esme turned her head to me and let out a gentle meow, as if she wanted to to know Ginny was hurting. 

”Are you alright?” I asked her. 

”Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just a bit to take in. He’s Ron’s best friend, how did he never mention this? Now everyone’s going to think Harry is the Heir of Slytherin, but he can’t be, he just can’t.” She repeated trying to convince herself. 

”Listen, don’t think on it too much. Wait till tomorrow and then go ask your brother about it. If anyone will have an answer, it’s Ron.” I could see she thought on what I said and seemed to be willing to accept that for now. Hopefully Ron would have the words to make it all make sense. 

The next morning Ginny woke early and went looking for Ron in the common room while I busied myself getting ready. I hoped to hear from Mother or Father this morning regarding the Christmas break, waiting was making me crazy. I found Ginny in the common room talking to Hermione Granger when I came down. When I got closer to them Hermione stopped what she was saying and excused herself, as though she didn't want me to be privy to whatever she was saying to Ginny. She really got on my last nerve. 

"Well?" I asked her when Hermione left. "Did you find out about Harry?" 

"Hermione said that they never knew, she said that Harry didn't even realize it was unusual and that was why he had never mentioned it. He didn't know he was speaking another language, he just thought he could speak to snakes. Apparently it's only happened one other time." Ginny looked relieved but there was still the question as to how could he have such a gift, and at a time when the school was under attack by someone claiming to be the Heir of Slytherin. I didn't push the issue, I didn't want to worry her anymore. 

"I'm starving, I really didn't eat much last night. Do you mind if we go down for breakfast?" I was both hungry and anxious about receiving post this morning from my parents. 

"Yeah, okay." Ginny replied, I could see she wasn't completely satisfied with Hermione's response about Harry. 

The halls were darker and colder than usually, the sky was filled with ominous dark clouds and snow fell from the sky in heavy drifts that bathed everything in a fluffy white blanket. All activities outside of the castle had been canceled for the day, due to the weather. Even Herbology was canceled as Professor Sprout was busy wrapping the Mandrakes in warm woolen hats and scarves, to keep them warm. Thankfully the Great Hall was much warmer than the hallways, the the large fireplace cracked and roared with a large fire. 

As an added treat, the house elves had prepared hot chocolate with glorious great gobs of whipped cream to stave off the winter chill. It made me think of Dobby and Tansy and I wondered if I would be seeing them soon. I still had not spoken to Draco since our quarrel yesterday at lunch. I hadn't been the one in the wrong, he was the beast who was trying to bully me into obeying him. Who did he think he was? I was under no obligation to obey his every word, just because he was my older brother. It wasn't my job to mend the fence, it was his. So, instead of walking over to his table and trying to appease him I simply went straight to my usual seat at the Gryffindor table as if nothing had ever happened. I didn't even look in his direction because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he had me worried. 

When we sat down Ginny's twin brothers Fred and George were busy trying to sell Ever Warming Wheezers to the younger students. They were blue sparkling puff balls the size of a hamster that you could keep in your pockets and they would give off an endless supply of warmth, they were incredibly cute too. I was seriously considering buying a pair for myself but Ginny shook her head furiously when she saw me pulling out two Galleons from my coin purse. 

"Mum told them to get rid of those things after they nearly set Percy's good wool coat alight." she said gesturing to Neville. At first I didn't see it, but from his robe pockets you could see a faint purple smoke beginning to form. Hermione, who noticed our attention was on Neville immediately realized what was going on. She stood up and began to furiously beat poor Neville in an attempt to extinguish the smoldering Wheezers in his pocket, but Neville didn't understand why she was beating him and jumped up from his seat, taking off to escape her. Both Hermione and Oliver Woods chased after him, catching him just before he could exit the Great Hall and dousing him with a large pitcher of pumpkin juice. Poor Neville. 

Fred and George just laughed at the whole fiasco, but Ginny looked irritated. "You best hope that Filtch doesn't catch you with those and owl Mum. If he does, its tickets for you both!" she scolded them, but they just pulled faces at her and laughed. 

I hadn't given Draco a second thought since sitting down till Goyle came over and tapped me roughly on the shoulder. 

"What?!" I snapped at him. 

"Draco says you're to come over to our table, he wants a word." he smirked, his bloated face making him look like he'd been dipped an engorgement potion. 

"If he wishes to speak to me, tell him to come over here himself." I told him dismissively. He just stared at me, not knowing what to say. I'm guessing he didn't really want to go back and tell Draco my response. "Well.... go on then!" I snapped and that was enough to send Gregory Goyle shuffling back to his house table. Ron laughed at the exchange, but Ginny sensed my real feelings. As angry as I was with Draco, I knew I was playing with fire. Should he tell our Father about this, I would be in an enormous amount of trouble. 


	26. Chapter 26

I woke up on Friday feeling full of worry. Draco had still not spoken to me since we argued, I had yet to receive any correspondence from my parents about Christmas and my Potions essay was dismal to say the least. I lay in my bed listening to the other girls still sleeping and watching the glow of the rising sun slowly fill the dorm with light. Christmas break starts in two weeks and I have no idea what to expect. I looked to my right, where Ginny was sleeping soundly and I felt an enormous surge of emotion. She was the only real friend I had ever had in my life. She was kind, smart and as loyal a friend as anyone could hope for, but she was so vulnerable. We hadn't spoke much about Tom Riddle in the last few weeks but it was still there and given we had made no progress filled me with worry. What would happen to Ginny if I was to leave in two weeks and Ginny had to shoulder the danger of the diary all on her own.

Fear of my own future also plagued me. Draco was not speaking to me and I had no idea what my immediate future held, it was all too much. When the other girls began to stir I got up and put myself together for the day. I didn't even want to try and improve my Potions essay because there just wasn't enough time to make a difference. I was feeling defeated and it was making it harder to try. I twisted my my hair into a long tidy braid and slumped into one of the over stuffed arm chairs in the common room waiting for Ginny. 

"Are you alright?" asked a familiar voice. I turned to see Hermione Granger standing next to me.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just a bit tired, you know, too much studying."

"You sure? You look, I don't know.. a little stressed."

"I'm fine, but thanks for asking." it was the first time Hermione ever truly treated my like a Gryffindor, instead of just a Malfoy. I realized that I was slowly being accepted by my house, regardless of my parentage and I didn't know if it was all for nothing. Almost like a cruel joke, that I could finally begin to find my place at Hogwarts after my rocky start, only to have it all dashed away by my Father shortly. 

Ginny finally arrived looking ever fretful "Did you finish your Potions essay?" she asked me, faffing with some loose parchment she was hastily shoving in her bag.

"Yes, but it's rubbish." I told her.

"It can't be that bad." Ginny said, trying to boost my spirits, but I knew better. It was total rubbish and I wished I would be stricken with a case of Dragon Pox this instant, just so I wouldn't be forced to hand this horrible essay into my God Father.

Nigel didn't bring me any post, once again and I couldn't even eat my toast because my stomach was in knots. I had told myself that if I didn't receive a letter from Mother or Father by today I would write them myself to inquire about Christmas, but actually doing it scared me. If I was expected to stay at school over the break, I was sure I would have been instructed to already. Before I was ready it was time for Potions. Ginny tried to keep me positive, but I was feeling rather like crawling under a rock, instead of attending class.

When we entered Potions, everyone walked straight to Professor Snape's desk to deposit their essays. I couldn't even make eye contact with him as I approached his desk and placed mine with all of the others. I could only hope he wouldn't be looking at it right away.

We all took our places at our tables and begun our assignment. We were to brew a Hiccoughing Potion and have it bottled by the end of class. It was a simple potion in my opinion, but the draw back was that Professor Snape was using the time to go over our essays. Together Ginny and I carefully prepared our ingredients while I kept a steady eye on our Potions master and the dwindling pile of essays in front of him. We were just setting it to cool before bottling before I saw him pick up my own essay. He only looked at it for a few seconds before looking up at me, I quickly shifted my gaze in shame. I knew it was horrible and I expected I would hear about it. 

When Ginny and I were just washing up the last of our tools I heard him say it. "Miss Malfoy, remain after class." Ginny looked at me concerned, but I just continued to clear up as if I hadn't heard him.

"Don't wait for me, I'll see you in Transfigurations." I told Ginny when class was dismissed. I didn't want her hanging about incase things went badly. 

"But...we're not to change classes alone, you can't walk the halls by yourself." 

The classroom had nearly cleared out and Professor Snape was glaring at us. "I'll be fine, I can always have a house elf accompany me to class. I'll see you there ok?" 

"Are you sure?" Ginny asked me, struggling to leave me alone with Snape. 

"You need to go Ginny, You'll be late." and with that she reluctantly left. When the last student finally walked out of the room Professor Snape waved his wand and the large double doors clanged shut. He didn't speak at first and I avoided making eye contact, instead I traced the letters TMR that someone had carved into the table many many moons ago. 

"Do you wish to explain this?" Uncle Severus asked me, holding up my essay as if were a soiled napkin. I still avoided his stare and I had no words that I knew he would find satisfactory, so I remained silent. "Perhaps you would prefer that I Floo Lucius right now and ask his opinion on the matter." 

"No Sir." was all I could manage. The last thing I wanted was to explain this to Father, but I just couldn't explain to Uncle Severus why I had done so poorly without telling him about everything else that was going on. I couldn't very well tell him that I had been spending all of my free time with Ginny in the library trying to figure out who Tom Riddle was or that I was fighting with Draco. None of it would help my situation, so I remind quiet. 

"Perhaps if you were taking your studies more seriously instead of associating with a bunch of miscreants that your Father specifically forbid you from befriending. Maybe then I wouldn't have to read such utter nonsense." He said, waving around my essay again. 

"It has come to my attention that Draco has gone out of his way to try and help you secure a better class of friends and you responded by insulting him and embarrassing him in front of his friends." 

"Thats not true!" I cried, defiantly. "Draco wasn't trying to help me fit in, he was just trying to tell me what to do and when I didn't do what he said he got angry and mean." 

"Draco is your older brother, you owe him, your Father and I more respect than this." Snape shouted at me. "You are pushing things too far Delia and perhaps I am partly to blame. Lucius told me to be firm with you and I have failed in that area." the room fell silent. I don't know if Uncle Severus expected me to answer him or not, but I couldn't find the words, nothing I did was going to make a difference. After a few moments I finally spoke up. 

"It doesn't matter anyway." 

"Why do you think your behavior doesn't matter." 

"It doesn't matter because the moment I was sorted into Gryffindor Father had already made up his mind about everything." I stared straight into is eyes angrily. "Everything I did after that was always going to be wrong. I'm going home soon anyways so just let it go." 

"What makes you say that?" he asked me, looking confused. 

"I just know, okay." 

"No, it's not okay and you don't know anything. If you were leaving the school I am sure Lucius would have informed me, now stop refusing to take responsibility for yourself." he scolded me. 

I just stared back at him sullenly, I had no fight left in me. He stared back at me for a moment and I could see he was struggling with his feelings. He was torn between keeping me in line for Father and the fact that he genuinely cared about me and wanted to see me succeed. 

"I have no other choice but to punish you for all of this Delia, you know his don't you?" I still had nothing to say, it was pointless and I saw the direction this was going. Uncle Severus walked over to his desk and pulled the chair out from behind it, setting the chair in front of the classroom. 

"Come here." He commanded, but I remained rooted on my stool, unmoving. 

"Don't make me repeat myself, you'll only be making matters worse if you do." I slowly stood up, never taking my gaze away from his and made my way to the front of the room till I was standing in front of him. 

He sat down in the chair and took me by the wrist, guiding me over till I was standing at his right side facing him. "I have tried very hard to avoid this Delia, you have put us both in this position and I hope it will be the last time." 

Then he pulled me over his lap and brushed back my skirt, leaving me with nothing but my knickers to protect what little dignity I had at the moment. His hand came down much harder than I expected and it only took a few swats before I was crying, but he didn't seem to care for all my pleading only seemed to make his hand come down even harder. Over and over again Uncle Severus spanked me furiously. I tried in vain to wiggle free from his grasp, but he just held me tighter and spanked me even harder. It stared to feel like it was never going to end when as suddenly as it started it stopped. Uncle Severus stood me up and both of my hands instantly went up to try to rub away the burning sting on my backside. Tears ran down my face and I was struggling to catch my breath. 

"If you ever give me reason to punish you like this again Cordelia Malfoy, know that it will be your Fathers cane lighting up your backside and not just my hand! Am I clear?" 

"Yes, S...Sir." I answered through my sobs. 

"Now, get yourself off to your next class before you find yourself over my lap again!" he shouted as I grabbed my bag and hurried from the classroom. 

I opened the large double doors and to my absolute horror Ginny was standing there waiting for me. She had to have heard the whole thing, it was written all over he face.


	27. Chapter 27

I refused to speak to Ginny about what had happened in Professor Snape's classroom. "I told you not to wait!" was all I could say to her through my tears as we walked the empty halls to Transfigurations. Neither of us saying another word. I wiped away the tears on my face with my sleeve, but I knew it would do nothing for the red puffiness on my face. When we walked into class Professor McGonagall was displeased by our tardiness, but when she saw my face she continued with the class rather than scold us.

It was very uncomfortable sitting through class, my bum was hurting and I was embarrassed that the other students could tell I had been crying. I couldn't even look Ginny in the face, I was so humiliated knowing she had heard what had transpired between Uncle Severus and I. Hopefully she wouldn't tell anyone in some sort of misguided attempt to help me, because it would surely just make matters worse. At the end of class Professor McGonagall took me aside and again asked me if I was alright. I told her I was fine, but I couldn't look at her when I said it because I was afraid I would start crying all over again. She let me leave with the rest of the students, but reminded me that she was always there if I wanted to talk to her.

At lunch I told Ginny that I wasn't hungry and was going to go up to the dorm. She offered to come with me, but I told her I really just wanted to be alone. I could tell her feelings were hurt but she understood and didn't push the issue. I waited till all of the other Gryffindors had left the tower before taking a seat in the empty common room to pen my letter.

Dearest Mother,

I hope my letter finds you well, I have missed you very much in the last months. School is pleasant, but the cold weather has kept us all in doors the last few days. Draco tells me that Father wishes for him to remain at school for the Christmas Holidays and I was just wondering if I was to do the same. I look forward to hearing from you with news from home.

Your Daughter,  
Cordelia Bellatrix Malfoy

I couldn't think of much else to write, so I just left it at that. I went up to my dorm and put on my thick wool coat, a hat and a heavy scarf so I could take my letter up to the owlrey. I just wanted my answer at this point, I had no desire to wait anymore. I knew I shouldn't be walking about the castle and grounds on my own, but I really didn't care if the Heir of Slytherin found me at this point, at least I would be put out of my misery. 

The halls were cold and quiet, and I was very grateful for the warm coat Mother had gotten me when I opened the door to go outside to the Owlery. The snow was knee high and I was careful to stick to the path that had been cleared, even though it was slick with ice. The steps to the tower were even slipperier and at one point I even found it amusing to think, if I fell to my death here trying to send this stupid letter, nobody would even find me till the spring thaw.

The Owlrey was warm, even if it smelled a little like wet hay and owl droppings. I crinkled up my nose and went over to the area where the school owls were kept. Draco's owl Nero was on his perch, but I didn't think Draco would approve of me using him when we were not even speaking. Instead I chose a friendly tawny owl belonging to the school. The name plate on his perch said Elbert. "Hello Elbert, could you please do me a favor and deliver this to my Mother? I know its terribly cold, I am sorry to send you out on a day like this, but it's really important." The owl straightened up and chirped enthusiastically, as if sensing he was being sent on an important mission. I gently tied the rolled up parchment to his leg and gave him an owl treat before sending him off. I watched Elbert from the window he flew from till he was out of sight, and I hoped I would be hearing a reply soon. I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, it seemed an awful lot to bear for someone who was only eleven. It was so peaceful in the owlrey that I didn't really want to leave, but I needed to return to the castle before the end of lunch, or I might be late for my afternoon classes. Somehow, it didn't seem wise to find myself receiving a detention today on top of everything else. Uncle Severus had proven he was willing to punish me in the absence of my Father and my backside couldn't tolerate another trip over his knee today.

I went through the motions of the rest of the day, but my heart wasn't in it and I was grateful when evening came and I could hide away under my blankets and imagine my life as someone else. Ginny tried to talk to me a few times about Professor Snape, but I made it clear I wasn't going to discuss it with her so she stopped. Instead I retreated within myself, first hiding behind a book and then pretending to go to sleep early, because I just couldn't deal with conversation. I couldn't sleep, but at least with my eye closed and my blanket pulled up over my head, nobody tried to bother me. I had hoped Elbert would bring me back news from Mother before nightfall, but there was no sign of him. It was well past midnight before I finally fell asleep, listening to the crackle of the fire in the wood stove and the sounds of the other girls sleeping.

The next morning I over slept, Ginny was shaking me out bed. "Wake up, you're going to miss breakfast if you don't get up." 

"I don't care." I said pulling myself under my covers. 

"You have to go eat, you barely eat anything anymore, come on." she jumped on the end of my bed now trying to pull my duvet off. 

I gave into her persistence and finally rolled out of bed rubbing my eyes and mumbling about lunatics tossing poor people from their cozy beds on weekends. I didn't even have time to shower, I just threw on a pair of jeans, that I hid from my parents, and a heavy quidditch sweatshirt that Draco had brought me back from the World Cup last year when he went with Father. I had wanted desperately to go, but Father had insisted it was no place little girls and that I would be better off staying at home with Mother. I had cried in my room the whole time they were away and refused to speak to Draco for over a week when they returned. I knew it wasn't his fault, but I was horribly jealous and hurt. 

I had to climb under my bed to find my sheep skin boots, but I knew my toes would thank me later. "Come on!" Ginny kept nagging me the whole way out the door. It was a casual Saturday and many of the teachers and house elves were busy decorating the Castle for Christmas. Enormous Christmas trees and garland were being erected all over the castle and the halls were filled with the smells of gingerbread biscuits, fresh cut pine and spiced apple. Everyone was cheerfully looking forward to Christmas, except me. I didn't even know if I had anything to look forward to. I imagined it would be wonderful spending Christmas here at school. Ginny and her brothers were spending their holiday at school and I would love to spend three carefree weeks with her, just celebrating and having fun. Hopefully I would hear something from home soon before I went completely mad with anxiety.

Even the Great Hall was filled with holiday decor. There was a huge tree in one corner and large swaths of garland trailed the walls and fireplace hearth. The garland contained strings of oversized cranberries, oranges and small white candles that glowed softly. Everything felt so warm and cheerful, I was longing to enjoy it. Some of the students at our table were talking about going sledding after breakfast and Ginny looked keen to go. I smiled and agreed, even though I wasn't exactly sure what sledging was. Father didn't believe in girls playing boyish outdoor games, so Hogwarts had also been serving in educating me in the finer actives my peers enjoyed outdoors. 

I was nearly finished with my breakfast when I saw Elbert, the owl that had taken my letter to Mother the day before. He gracefully glided above the tables before coming to rest on the table before me. I recognized Mother's handwriting and felt my stomach instantly knot at the sight of it. I had been hoping to hear from her for over a week and now that her answer was in my hand I felt like the ceiling was going to cave in on me. I instinctually looked for Draco, even though we hadn't spoken in days. His eyes were locked on me from across the room, he knew the significance of the letter more than anyone. 

As angry as I had been with him the last week it was all instantly washed away by my need to be with him when I open it. I got up from my seat and ran from the hall as fast as my legs would take me. Ginny stood up and asked me what was wrong and I just told her to stay there, I had to speak to my brother. Draco was not far behind me and we walked together down the hall till we were in the semi private sitting area. 

My hands shook as I held Mother's letter I my hand, I hadn't realized how scared I was to hear her say something I didn't want to hear till now. I sat down on the small couch and Draco put his hand over mine. "Do you want me to open it?" he asked me gently 

"No.....it's my letter, I'll do it. 

I carefully peeled back the envelope and removed the letter it held. Mothers beautiful script took up only the smallest of spaces, it read very simply: 

Dearest Daughter, 

I will be at Kings Cross Station to meet your train. 

Love, 

Mother. 

It was done, I was going home. Everything that mattered in my life was over. I looked at Draco, we were both shocked and before I could control myself I began to cry. Draco held me close while I tried to come to terms with all of it. "It may not mean anything Delia, you mustn't let this upset you so when you don't even know what it all means." 

We both knew better, but he was trying to give me hope. "I won't be coming back Draco, we both know it. Why would they make you stay unless there was something they didn't want you to know." I didn't know how I was going to tell Ginny. The only thing I was sure of was I did not want to leave. Draco and I sat together for well over an hour, he stroked my hair and told me how sorry he was about everything. He reminded me how much he loved me and said he was going to write to our parents, but I didn't see how it was going to make a difference. Our Father wanted to keep me locked away where I couldn't bring him anymore shame and he wanted to punish me for all the shame he felt I had brought onto our family. It was done.


	28. Chapter 28

I waited in the dorm for Ginny to come back from sledding with the kids from our table. I sat on my bed with Esme in my lap, giving her as much attention as she wanted. Knowing my time with her was growing short, I wanted to remind her how much I loved her before she thought I had abandon her. 

Even though it was still very cold outside, the sky was blue and the sun shown brightly in what should have been the most perfect afternoon sky. Occasionally I heard the laughter and joyful shouting coming from the grounds beyond my window, but I felt like I was a million miles away and in a different world than everyone else. I would soon be far beyond this, and a distant memory before long. I doubted my absence would even be noticed by anyone except Ginny and Draco. 

Before lunch Ginny, and several other Gryffindors came back to the dorms to change out of their cold wet things before going down to eat. Ginny was happy and full of excitement when she came up the stairs. "Oh my goodness Delia, you should have seen! You missed the funniest thing ever! Fred and George enchanted Ron's sled and sent it racing wildly around the castle grounds, poor Ron couldn't get off till Percy threatened to tell Mum about the Wheezers. Hermione kept trying to stop him, and twice he nearly ran her down." Ginny couldn't stop laughing as she told me the story, her cheeks were rosy from the cold weather and her clothing was soggy, but she looked so happy. I just couldn't bring myself to take her happiness away at this moment, when I knew it wouldn't change my outcome. I tried hard to smile and laugh at all the right times, even though watching her only reminded me how much she meant to me and how broken I would feel when I could no longer see her.

I spent the rest of the weekend like this, disconnected and pretending everything was fine. If I tried hard enough, at times it even felt like everything was alright. I just had to push down the anxiety and sadness, till I didn't feel them.

By Sunday night Ginny decided to let me know I wasn't doing as good a job feigning contentment as I thought. "Are you going to tell me what's bothering you, or do I have to guess?" she said to me when it was just the two of us in the dorm. 

"What do you mean?" I tried to sound confused, but I knew she had already seen through my facade and maybe it was time to tell her. 

"Really? Come on, you know what I mean. You haven't been yourself since you got that owl yesterday. You can tell me anything you know, you're my best friend." I had to take a deep breath so I could keep myself from getting emotional as I began to tell her. 

"The letter was from my Mother, she wants me to come home for Christmas." 

"I'm sorry Delia, I was hoping you would be able to stay here with us, but it's only three weeks." she said, trying to sound upbeat. 

"I don't think its just for three weeks Ginny. My Father has been threatening to send me home since I was sorted into Gryfinddor, he told Draco to stay at school. I don't think he is planning on letting me return." I tried to remain stoic, but I could feel my chest tighten as I told her. 

"Is this because of Snape!" Ginny snapped. 

"No Ginny, it wasn't because of Professor Snape, if it hadn't been for him I doubt I would have ever been allowed to set foot at Hogwarts at all." 

"Your grades are fantastic and you're rarely in trouble, why!? Why is he making you leave? You haven't done anything wrong!" Ginny was starting to tear up and I had to look away from her for a moment to keep my own tears at bay. 

"It's a lot of things Ginny, I don't think he really wanted me coming here to begin with. My Mother and Professor Snape convinced him to let me. He wanted me to stay home and learn how to run a household from Mother. I had hoped he would be pleased having me away from The Manor and out of his sight. Maybe I even hoped he would forget about me, or at least forget about how much I displease him." 

"You can't go back Delia, you can't let them do this to you. It's not right, and your father.... he hurt you. It's not safe." poor Ginny, I felt guilty for the pain my situation was causing her. Maybe she would be better off without such a complicated friend. 

"I spent eleven years of my life at Malfoy Manor, it won't be any different than it was before. I will just miss you horribly." I didn't want her worrying about me anymore than she already was. I didn't want to tell her about how scared I was to go home without Draco. It would be too much for her. 

"There has to be something?" she said full of tears. 

I calmly looked at Ginny, I had hurt her without meaning to. Sharing my reality had hurt the person I cared most for. I had to find a way to protect her, if it was my last act as a friend, I had to protect her. I reached out and pulled her into a hug. She sat with me on my bed and cried, while Esme circled us meowing, concerned that her two humans seemed to be in distress. 

"There is nothing anyone can do to change this Ginny, but I want you to listen to me. Just listen first, before you say anything. I want you to let me take the Diary to Professor Snape." Ginny started to protest, but I put my hand to her mouth and shushed her. "No, just listen. Let me take it to him, he will know what to do. I will be expelled, but it won't make any difference. The important thing is that Tom Riddle will no longer have the power to hurt you. I can't leave here knowing something could happen to you." 

"No, no.... if you don't get expelled there is always a chance you could come back. If you do that you'll never be allowed to come back, and what will your father do? I won't let you do it Delia, I won't let you ruin any chance you have to come back and I won't be a part of anything that would cause your father to hurt you." I could see she wouldn't be able to let me do what needed to be done. She wouldn't be able to accept this as the right answer to the problem. I knew I couldn't push the issue, the best thing I could do would be to let it go and when the time was right, I would take the book without her knowing and let Uncle Severus deal with it. I wouldn't have to reveal Ginny's part, and whatever Father did to me for it would be temporary, no matter how severe. 


	29. Chapter 29

Time passed quicker than I would have liked after Mothers letter. Draco sent our parents an owl asking them to allow me to stay with him during the Christmas holiday, and they never even acknowledged it. I had to push my fears of what awaited me at The Manor out of my mind so that I could focus on what needed to be done. I had to find a way to get the Diary away from Ginny without her knowing it and bring it to Uncle Severus. I knew I would pay a heavy price, but I couldn't let Tom Riddle hurt Ginny, and there was no more time left to figure it out.

Ginny and Draco both preferred to live under the illusion that I would be back after Christmas, but I knew better. There was no point in me arguing with them, I had accepted my fate and it only caused them both a lot of stress whenever we discussed it. Instead, I continued to act like nothing was wrong. Each day was just another day and not a count down till I was returned to the prison that was Malfoy Manor. I knew I had to make my plans in private and find the opportunity to unburden my friend, to save her from Tom Riddle. She was steadfast in her standing that she would never just let me take the diary and assume responsibility for it. As her friend, I knew I had to take it behind her back. Even if she didn't forgive me, at least she would be safe.

It was easy to distract them both because the castle was bubbling with holiday cheer. Even the teachers had started to back off a little on the work load to allow for more festivities. All the teachers except for Professor Snape of course, he maintained his same level of homework and if anything seemed even more temperamental. He had little patience for anyone and handed out detentions or deducted house points for even the smallest of infractions. He seemed to be giving me a little leeway in the midst of his irritability. He no longer scowled at Ginny and I when we sat together and we were even a minute late for class and he let it slide. I knew that he knew, that I would return to the Manor for good soon. I guess he decided there was no reason to take away what little freedom I had left. I just wished he wasn't being so distant, I assume he is too disappointed in me to even talk about what was happening. 

I decided that the best way for me to retrieve the Diary without Ginny catching me was to cut class. I could tell Ginny I was feeling ill and feign going to Madame Pomfrey, then I would sneak back up to the dorm and take the book. It would all be done before she had a chance to try and stop me and it was for the best.

When I got up on Thursday I started laying the ground work for my plan. "My head is killing me." I said to Ginny, sitting on the edge of my bed rubbing between my eyes.

"Lets hurry down to breakfast, maybe a bit of tea and some food will help." she replied.

"I don't feel like I even want to eat anything." I told her trying to sound convincing.

"Do you think you're getting sick?" she asked.

"I don't know, I haven't been sleeping well. Maybe it's just lack of sleep." I didn't want her to suggest I go to the hospital wing now, because she would surely insist on going with me and there were still too many students around the dorms. "You're probably right, a little food might help." and I slowly went to shower and dress.

At breakfast I make a show of picking at my food and don't say much. By the time we are walking to Herbology I decide to try to make my exit. "I really don't think I can go in there." I tell Ginny as we reach the classroom door. "I just don't feel well, I think I must go to Madame Pomfrey."

"I'll go with you." She says looking worried.

"No, you'll be late for class. I'm fine, I just need something for this headache."

"You can't walk around the castle alone, remember. I'll go with you, I'm sure Professor Sprout won't mind." She insists.

"Go to class, that way if I miss anything important I can copy your notes. Please Ginny, it's not a big deal, I'll be back before the end of class."

"Alright." she says reluctantly and I feel like I have hurt her feelings a little. "Just be careful."

I give her a smile to hide my feelings. I wonder if this is the last time I see her. If I am expelled I might not even have a chance to say goodbye. I can feel tears in my eyes as I turn from her and begin to walk away. The halls are quickly emptying out as students hurry to get to their first classes on time and it's not long before I am completely alone. It gives me a little chill, thinking about all of the attacks makes me quicken my pace and I half run the rest of the way back to Gryffindor Tower.

When I get to our common room there isn't a soul around. Still, I listen carefully for the sound of any one else. I don't want to take the chance of someone seeing me going through Ginny's trunk and reporting me before I have a chance to take the diary to Uncle Severus. After a few seconds of standing in the middle of the common room listening, I am sure I am alone. I run up the stairs to our dorm and quickly pull open Ginny's trunk, digging down to the bottom where I saw her stash it last time. Thankfully I feel its familiar worn leather cover right away and pull it free. Holding it in my hand its hard to imagine something so small and simple can be so powerful, but that's the way with magic. You can never tell just by looking at a magical object what sort of mysteries it contains. 

I go to shove the book in my pocket as I walk towards the door and foolishly take my eyes off of where I am going when it doesn't go instantly into my robe pocket. My distraction causes me to catch my shoe on the leg post of Hatties bed and fall forward hard with the diary still clutched in my right hand. Hitting the stone floor knocks it from my hand and when I turned to look for it I can see that it has fallen open. My first reaction is to scoot backwards to put more distance between myself and the diary, our last meeting still fresh in my mind. 

When nothing happens I slowly start to crawl closer to retrieve it. It’s blank pages still, I reach for it. Suddenly there is movement on the page. At first I am not sure if my eyes are playing tricks on me, but the letters become clearer, darker. “Hello Cordelia Malfoy” is written in meticulous script.

I recoil in fear, my eyes transfixed on the page bearing my name. The words fade away, but seconds later a new line appears. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you both the last time we spoke. I was scared.” 

I can’t move, I am too afraid to even get up and run away. Instead I sit there frozen, staring at the words. “I just wanted a friend, I never had a friend before Ginny.” For a few more minutes I just sit there like a coward until I finally find my voice. 

”I don’t believe you.” I snap, and reach for the book. The second my hand closes on it another small transparent hand appears out of the pages and grabs ahold of mine. 

”Let me show you” appears on the page as I feel myself being pulled inside the book itself. The feeling is frightening, worse than the feeling you get when using a Portkey. To make it even worse, I am terrified as to where I am being drawn to and why. Before my mind even has time to begin to take it all in I find myself suddenly standing at the edge of a playground. It’s filled with children playing games, talking and skipping rope. "One, two...he's coming for you....." the girl chants skipping rope. They are all dressed in the same cheerless grey and black uniforms and I assume it’s a school until I see the sign above the entrance doors, it reads “Wool’s Orphanage”. The more I look around trying to find something familiar the more odd it all seems. I think this place must be a Muggle orphanage and looking at the clothing and surrounding it even appears to be long in the past, reminding me of pictures of my grandparents when they were young. 

I walk closer to the children, thinking of asking them where exactly I am. A young girl of about eight with dark hair in two neat braids bends down to retrieve her doll that has fallen on the ground. I approach her and ask, "Could you please tell me where I am." but she doesn't even seem to see me, let alone hear me. "Excuse me!" I ask a little more desperately, "Why aren't you answering me!" I shout, but nobody even turns to look. They can't hear or see me. I reach for the young girl with the braids, but my hand slips right through her as if she wasn't even there. 

I was starting to panic, but I reminded myself that losing my wits wont help me. I take a deep breath and scan the playground. Tom Riddle said he wanted to show me something and maybe once I had seen it I would be set free. There were so many children playing and running around, how was I supposed to know what I was looking for, but then I heard it. It was a faint at first, almost like a hissing sound. Then I recognized it for what it was, whispers. Lots of whispers coming from different directions, I looked to see where it was coming from. I could see the children whispering to one another and looking in the same direction. I followed their gazes to a small boy sitting all alone under a tree. 

"Get him....get them...make it hurt..." the same hissing voice chides. 

Once more I felt the same drawing, spinning feeling I had felt before. I was now standing in a dinning hall and I could hear the whispers and see the same small boy sitting all alone at a table. He reminded me of myself and all the stares and whispers I had experienced, so many people never even giving me a chance at friendship. Again the spinning and the same boy, over and over again as I watched him get older and always alone, always the whispers. Occasionally the other children would even point and call him names like weirdo and freak. One heavyset boy with close cut red hair seemed to loath him."Who would ever want a freak like you! Your mother probably took one look at you a died from disgust!" the boy taunted. Another spin and I am standing in a sparse and claustrophobic room that looks more like a cell than a child's room. The same boy, maybe ten years old now is seated at a small beat up desk starting out the window at the other children playing outside. A single tear falls down his face and lands on the paper where he has sketched a beautiful dragon. 

I feel the spinning again and I don't think I can take anymore of it, but this time there is a burst of light. I close my eyes tightly against the brightness, my head is pounding now in earnest and the whispers are getting louder and louder, its all I can hear. Eyes clenched tightly shut I press my hands over my ears in an attempts to block out the whispers. "Stop it!" I scream "Just be quiet!" I feel like I'm going insane, the whispers...."Stop! Please stop!" I beg. Then I hear my own name in the whispers. 

"Delia....Delia.." I can hear. 

"Stop! Please leave me alone! Stop!" I scream and then I feel two hands on my shoulders shaking me. I pull my hands from my ears to push away the hands and the whispering stops. 

"Delia! Please look at me! Tell me you're alright!" I hear Ginnys voice. I open my eyes and see my friend kneeling over me looking terrified. I try to sit up but my head is pounding. "What happened, are you alright!" Ginny is shouting through tears, she looks completely beside herself. I look quickly around us, and the diary is gone. Gingerly I am able to sit up and Ginny helps me over to my bed. "Delia, where have you been? I have been looking for you for hours! You missed two classes and you never went to see Madame Pomfrey! I was about to tell Professor McGonagall you were missing, but I came up here first looking for you. You were screaming, it was horrible!" I can't tell Ginny the truth. 

"I...I'm sorry, I was so cold when I left you in the hall that I came up here to get a jumper. I was feeling terrible so I laid down on my bed and I must have fallen asleep and had a nightmare." Thankfully the story came out of my mouth before I could even think it up. Ginny looked concerned, but she seems to believe me. 

"We are going to Madame Pomfrey now, can you walk?" Ginny asks, trying to help me to my feet. My head feels like its going to explode and given I have now missed two classes I agree and carefully stand up fearful I may be unsteady. As Ginny helps me out the door I glance back at the room, eyes searching for the diary, but its nowhere to be seen. 


	30. Chapter 30

Madame Pomfrey said I was to stay in the Hospital wing overnight. Between my pounding headache, the fact I was running a small fever and Ginny telling her that I was delirious when she found me, she decided I needed to stay in bed under watch. Ginny stayed with me for an hour until Madame Pomfrey told her to go to dinner. That left me with a few hours to myself, and I had a lot to think about. I had a week left to figure things out. How was I going to help Ginny? I didn't even know what to think about the boy Tom Riddle showed me and what his motivation was behind it all. Was he really just a lonely boy who needed a friend? That really didn't explain Ginny losing time or why he attacked us and who's to say there was even any truth to what he showed me. 

I couldn't even talk to Ginny about it because I couldn't have her knowing what I had done. If the opportunity presented its self, I would still take the book to Uncle Severus, and I didn't want her to know what I was up to. I just don't know how I am going to do it now. I think Riddle knows I want to turn him in, or at least he knows I want to get rid of him. He could do or say anything, and that doesn't mean it's true. Still, seeing the boy feeling so alone had left a feeling in my heart I couldn't just brush aside. How many times had I been in that situation? How many whispers had I heard from students who just wouldn't give me a chance? I have spent most of my life completely alone, hoping someone would be my friend. How could I not feel something for the boy? My heart was telling me not to jump to conclusions, because I had been hurt too many times by people and their assumptions. However, my head was telling me not to trust him. It was a lot to think about. 

Around nine Draco came up to visit me. "How are you feeling?" he asked me when he arrived, pulling the chair closer to the bed. 

"I'm fine, really. I think I just haven't been sleeping well and it all caught up with me, it's nothing." 

"I spoke to the Weasley girl, she said you went missing for hours Delia and when she found you, you were delirious and screaming." his words were filled with worry, but I bristled at him referring to Ginny as "that Weasley Girl". 

"Her name is Ginny, Draco. Shes my best friend, the least you could do is use her name." I didn't have the energy for is snobbishness right now. I'm just too tired and feeling poorly. Arguing with him is just something I can't do right now. I look away from him and watch the moonlight filtering in through the window behind him. 

"I'm sorry." he said, and I could hear a tinge of shame in his voice. I turn my gaze back to him and he looks so sad. "I know she's your friend, and you're right." Draco almost never apologized. My anger with him receding, I couldn't be mad at him when he looked so dejected. 

"It's ok." I reply, I can't believe I wont see him in another week. I really love my brother, as much as he reminds me of Father, he is still my big brother. He may struggle to show it, I know he loves me too. 

"I wish there was something I could do to help you Delia. I know you're scared about going home. I even tried to talk to Uncle Severus, but he just got angry with me and told me that it's none of my business and not to question our parents. I keep trying to think of something to help you and I just can't come up with anything. I feel like I'm failing you. I'm your older brother, I'm supposed to protect you." Draco has tears in his eyes and I place my hand over his. 

"You can't protect me from our father Draco, nobody can. I love you...." we both sit together in silence for awhile before I realize it's getting late. "You need to back to your common room before curfew, you don't want to get a detention. I'll be out of here tomorrow, maybe we can have dinner together" 

"Try to get some sleep, okay. You can't let yourself get sick like this over worry." he says as he bends down and kisses my forehead. I'm not used to seeing my brother looking so emotional. I feel a pang of guilt, I wish I wasn't always the cause of so much misery. As I watch him leave defeated, I feel like I have let him down. Maybe he will be better off without me here. When I am home, at least I wont be a constant reminder of our Fathers cruelty and my own vulnerability. They both weighed too heavily on him. 

After Draco left me Madame Pomfrey brought me a sleeping draught. "You'll feel much better after a good nights sleep." She said kindly as she handed me the cup. As soon as I had finished it I felt a calmness passing through my body that I had not felt in ages. Within a few seconds I fell into a deep, dreamless slumber. 

When I awoke the next morning I did feel refreshed. It had been a long time since I had a decent nights sleep and I was thankful for it. Madame Pomfrey must have heard me moving around in my bed because she appeared next to me as my eyes were still trying to adjust to being awake. "How do you feel this morning?" she asks putting her wand to my wrist to check my vitals. 

"I really do feel much better Madame Pomfrey, thank you." 

"No more headache?" she asks. 

"No Ma'am." 

"Well then, I suppose after you have had your breakfast you may go. I must ask you, is there something worrying you child? I don't usually see students your age struggling to sleep and I couldn't help but notice how worried your brother seemed last night during your visit." 

"I..... I'm fine, I guess I was just studying too late at night." I wanted to tell her, for some reason I had this overwhelming desire to unburden myself with everything. I wanted to tell her about the diary, Tom Riddle and my Father. I wanted someone to help me, to save me from everything that was threatening to overwhelm me. I felt like my life was threatening to swallow me up, but I didn't say anything. Nobody could help me and Father would only be angry if I foolishly opened my mouth and brought him more shame. 

"Are you sure child? You look like you have more to say.” she said, her face full of compassion. 

"No Ma'am, I'm sure. It is probably just the remnants of the sleeping draught making me feel a little unfocused. If it's alright, I'd really like to make my first class this morning." 

"Very well dear, if you find yourself not feeling well again be sure to come straight here this time, and no walking the halls alone again." 

"Yes, Ma'am." I replied and a house elf suddenly appeared with my breakfast tray. 

While I was eating Madame Pomfrey brought me a clean uniform and told me to use the shower down the hall. "A nice hot shower is the best way to clear the cobwebs in your head leftover from the sleeping draught." she said firmly before depositing the clothes in the chair and leaving me to finish my eggs and toast. I would need to hurry up if I was to make it to Potions on time. I quickly ate my last few bites and scooped up the clothes before running down the hall to the showers. According to the wall clock it was nearly 8:30 and that left me with half an hour to shower, dress, retrieve my books and make it to Potions on time. 

The shower really did do me a wonder of good. Standing in the hot water felt wonderful and I had to fight the urge to stay in there too long. Before I wanted to be done I was already toweling off and throwing on my clothes. I had left my wand on the bedside table and my shoes next to the bed so I ran barefoot back down the hallway back after depositing my nightgown and towel in the hampers. Thankfully I found my my school bag sitting on the chair next to the bed. One of the house elves or Ginny must have brought it down for me. I picked up my wand from the nightstand and quickly waved it over my wet, unbrushed hair. It was quickly dried and in a neat ponytail. I still had 15 minutes, so I decided to start heading Potions hoping I would run into Ginny or Draco on my way. 

It was early, and most of the students were still finishing up their breakfast in the Great Hall. When I arrived at Potions, the room was still empty except for Professor Snape who was seated at his desk. Quietly I weaved my way through the room till I found the table Ginny and I usually sat and took my seat. Snape looked up from his work to see me sitting there alone before returning his attention back to his writing. His indifference hurt, I think I preferred him scolding me over being ignored. "At least in another week you can stop pretending I'm not here." I said, pretending to be looking at the cover of my Potions book. 

"Excuse me." he answered crisply. "Is there something you wish to say to me Miss. Malfoy, or am I to assume you're having a conversation with the contents of your desk." when I look up at him, his dark eyes stare back emotionless and I struggle to contain my hurt and anger. 

"I have nothing to more to say to you ever again Professor." my voice conveying more control than I actually felt. 

Before he had a chance to reply students began to stream into the classroom, Ginny among them. "You will remain after class Miss. Malfoy." he said cooly and went back to his work. 

"What was that about?" Ginny asked me as she took her set. 

"Nothing." 

"If it was nothing why is he making you stay after class." she asked me nervously. 

"Ginny, it's nothing and I have no intention of staying after class." Ginny blanched a little. 

"But, Professor Snape said.." 

"I don't care what he said." I tell her. "Now, did I miss anything yesterday?" 

"No." she said, still looking a little shocked. "We just have an assignment for Professor Sprout to write an essay on the development of the Mandrake. It's due on Monday." 

To say the rest of class was unpleasant would be an understatement. Professor Snape snapped at any student who even made a sound and poor Abel Jenkins looked like he was so nervous he might just cry. The whole room was filled with tension and you could feel the relief when class was finally over. 

I picked up my books and bag and walked out of the room with the rest of the students, never even glancing back at Professor Snape for his reaction. I half expected him to shout at me as I attempted to leave, but he never said a word. 

"


	31. Chapter 31

Knowing I only had a few days of freedom left before I returned to The Manor caused me to become a little more careless than I had ever been before. I didn't do any of my Potions homework, I was late to Transfiguration and when Professor Snape scolded me for not paying attention in class my response was "This class is so boring." the whole class let out a small gasp and became silent. 

Professor Snape and I locked eyes and I smiled back at him defiantly. "5 points will be taken from Gryffindor for your cheek Miss Malfoy."

"Whatever." I said rolling my eyes. I could sense the shock in the classroom as I continued to defy my God Father.

"You will remain after class." he said, returning to his lesson.

"Are you mad!" Ginny whispered. "He is going to kill you!"

"I don't care."

"Don't do this, I know you're upset about Christmas, but what if he writes your parents? Do you want them to find out about how you've been behaving?" she pleaded.

"It won't make a difference Ginny, I'm already in more trouble than you can imagine. I might as well have a little fun before I go." I whisper mischievously. 

Ginny doesn't say another word because she realizes Professor Snape is glaring right at us. We finish up our lesson, clean up our area and bottle our potion. As much as I don't care about my grade, Ginny is my lab partner and I don't want to get her in trouble. As usual my potion is perfection and I take the bottled product up to Professor Snape's desk to turn it in. He looks up at me and then down to my potion without saying a word and returns to his writing. I know he is angry with me, but he senses my recklessness. I expect I will really see how angry he is shortly when class has been dismissed. I return to my seat and look over at Ginny, she looks nervous and I think she had been worried I was going to do something else to anger Professor Snape when I was handing in the potion, she knows me well. 

After a few more minutes class is dismissed. I go to stand up and pick up my bag, because once again I have no intention of remaining after class. Unfortunately I found myself fixed to my seat. Looking up I can see Professor Snape, lips pursed together to hide the look of amusement on his face. "I will escort Miss Malfoy to her next class Miss Weasley, you may go."

"Yes Sir." Ginny looked worriedly between Professor Snape and I before leaving the room. Uncle Severus waved his wand and the doors closed and locked behind her as she left. 

"While I am aware you are upset about your Fathers decision to send you home for the holidays, that does not give you the right to let your grades slip and be disrespectful!" he scolds. "If your Father knew how you were behaving right now...he would be furious Delia! Is that what you want? Do you want me to write him about all of this?"

"Do what you please! I don't care!" I shout at him. I can see him flinch with anger and frustration.

"This is not helping anything Delia! You are going to make things worse for yourself. Lucius will be lethal if he finds out the way his daughter is behaving at Hogwarts. Perhaps you would like it if he showed up here this evening to take you home instead of Friday. Did that ever occur to you?" I hadn't even considered the idea till he said it and suddenly I could see what a dangerous game I was playing.

For a moment there was silence between us and then he spoke again. 

"You owe me two essays and I expect them to be handed in tomorrow. If your behavior does not stop immediately then the next time I ask you to remain after class it will be a painful lesson. I love you Cordelia." his face suddenly softens "I wish it was within my powers to keep you here, but it is not. Please, don't ruin your remaining time at Hogwarts by acting this way." He looks truly heartbroken when he says this and instead the thrashing I was expecting to receive, he hugs me. My anger melts away and is replaced by tears, I can't keep it in anymore.

"Why? Why does Father hate me so?" 

"He doesn't hate you, Lucius is just.."

"He's what Uncle?! You know he hates me, he is always finding a reason to punish me. There is nothing I can do to please him, I have tried and my Mother... My Mother does nothing! She just watches and does nothing. I wish was never born!" I shout through my tears. "I hate them! I Hate them both!" I cry hysterically.

"I'm so sorry child." he says trying to soothe my heartache, hugging me tightly and sounding broken. 

Once I run out of tears he pulls me back from him and his expression changes.

"There is something Lucius, Narcissa and I have kept from you for years. I know Lucius wouldn't approve of me telling you, there are reasons why he wanted it kept from you."

"Kept what from me?" I ask him, desperate to know what he meant.

"Cordelia, when you were a baby you already started to show an amazing ability for wandless magic. More so than any child I had ever seen. At first Lucius was so proud, but as you got older and it developed further, I think he became intimidated by it. By the time you were two you could summons toys from anyplace in the house, you could move things at will and you could direct your magic towards those who upset you. Narcissa became worried you might accidentally hurt Draco and Lucius became angry over how difficult you were to control. If you wanted something, you simply summoned it. If Lucius tried to punish you by taking away a toy, you always retrieved it with magic. Then one day just before your third birthday Lucius was angry with you because you wanted a biscuit and no mater how many times he said "no", you summoned a new one. Finally in frustration he took your doll away as punishment. You summoned it straight out of his hand and laughed. He became so angry with you he snatched the doll from you and tossed it into the fireplace. I was there, Lucius threw it into the fire and the next thing we knew he was gone, vanished. Your Mother and I both panicked and began searching the house. It was about thirty minutes later when he came walking back through the front door. He was livid, you had apparated him out into the woods beyond the Manor. Thankfully he wasn't splinched. A child simply should be able to wield such magic at a young age, it was becoming dangerous. Lucius forced your mother to bind your magic until you were ready to start school. They felt that by then you would be mature enough to handle your gifts."

"But, I don't have wandless magic Uncle." I told him confused by everything he just said.

"It won't just come back all at once. You have magic, you can use your wand and do spells, which mean that it was unbound. It will take a long time for you to be able to control it again, but it will return." he looks at me concerned at how I am processing all of this.

"I don't understand, why would they keep it a secret from me now?" I couldn't understand why my parents didn't tell me now that I was to have this ability back. I could control better if I knew about it.

"You must never tell anyone what I have told you Delia. I believe Lucius worries one day your magic will be far greater than that of his own, he does not want you to be so powerful. Your Mother has her own fear, a more realistic and selfless fear than Lucius. Narcissa is afraid that should the Dark Lord return he would want you for his own, so that he can control and wield your magic to do his bidding. She never even told her own sister about how strong your magic had become. She knew that Bella was too close to the Dark Lord to keep such a secret. So, now you know of our deception, I hope you will not share this secret with anyone, but remember this magic lies within you. You may need it and you must find a way to control it once more." He looks so sad and concerned. I feel overwhelmed by everything he has just told me. It made me wonder if this was why Father was so cruel, perhaps he was trying keep me under his control or maybe he had hoped to just beat it out of me. It was so much, I doubt I would ever understand.


	32. Chapter 32

Ginny was shocked when I told her that Uncle Severus only talked to me after class. I don't think she believed me at first, but when I told her I had two essays to write before tomorrow she cringed. 

"Two! How are you going to write two whole essays before class?" she asked looking sympathetic. 

"I suppose I will be spending my evening writing." I smiled at her. I felt so much better after my conversation with Uncle Severus. Letting out a lot of my anger and hurt made me feel a little more at peace with my situation. Knowing Uncle Severus cared so much made me not feel so alone. I would miss Ginny, Draco and Uncle Severus, but I still had a few more days with them and it would do me no good to waste them being angry or sad.

I didn't have any classes after lunch so I told Ginny I was going to go up to our dorm to work on my essays for Potions. "Do you want me to come up and help you? I've already done mine, so I could help you get it done quicker." she offered.

"Thank you, but no. I think it's best if I do them on my own. If I hadn't procrastinated them away and been so otherwise lately I wouldn't have them hanging over my head to begin with." I told her.

"Alright then, I'm going to stay in the Great Hall for a bit. Fred and George have some special sweets they have been saving for Christmas, and they are going to try some out today. Plus, they are serving biscuits and hot chocolate later on. Ron's asked me to play Wizards chess with him. If you decide to take a break from your essays come back down for a bit of hot chocolate." she said smiling. 

I keep forgetting that Christmas is supposed to be a time of fun and merriment. All it represents to me this year is my fear of going home. I can't let that take away from Ginny's fun. I smile back at her and tell her, "if I have a gap I will come back down, but no promises." I don't want her feeling guilty about me instead of enjoying some time with her brothers.

The Great Hall is pretty busy when I leave, most everyone who is done with their classes for the day seem to be hanging out and enjoying themselves. I am hoping this means that Gryffindor House will empty so I can have some peace and quiet to get work done. I am relieved when the Portrait of the Fat Lady swings open and I find the common room empty. The only sound in the house is the crackling of the fire in the hearth. 

I run up the steps to our dorm and there is my lovely Esme, curled up in her favorite spot on my bed. "I'm going to miss you my cat." I tell her stroking her head. 

I rummage through my bag and pullout my Potions books, parchment, quill and some ink. Esme lets out a little meow of protest when I spread them out on my bed. "Unless you're going to write one of these essays don't complain." she looks at me as if she understood my every word and stretches before making herself comfortable again. 

Thankfully Potions is my strongest subject and once I get my topics outlined the actual essay flows quickly from my quill. After two and a half hours I am nearly done with my second essay. I decided to give myself a little bit of a break and let my thoughts wander. If only I wasn't going home... I couldn't help but wonder what was in store for me at home. Father would no longer have to worry about the interference of school staff and Mother won't say a word. He will have the freedom to inflict whatever punishment he desires without anyone to witness, even though I try to push the thoughts from my mind, they creep back in.

It gets me thinking about what Uncle Severus told me about the wandless magic. I still have such a hard time imagining that I could be capable of magic like that and not even know it. My eyes fall on a stuffed bear on Hatties bed and I decide to try and use wandless magic to move it. I stare at it, willing it to move but nothing happens. I try telling it in my mind to move and still nothing, after twenty minutes of trying to move the bear unsuccessfully I return back to my essay. Perhaps Uncle Severus was wrong and the magic won't return to me on the same level as it was when I was little. 

My essays were both finished earlier than expected and I am quite pleased with myself because I know they are good. I decide to go join Ginny in the Great Hall, maybe Draco will be there too and I can spend some time with him. I reach into my wardrobe and pull out a warmer jumper and my sheep skin boots. Sitting on my bed to pull them on I look up and see Ginnys trunk next to her bed. It reminds me of the diary that lays hidden at the bottom. I had told myself I wouldn't let her be forced to deal with this on her own and I am leaving soon. 

Nobody is expecting me right now, Ginny thinks I will be working on these essays all evening. I easily have an hour or two to try and figure this out before anyone comes looking for me. I go over to her trunk and dig down till I find the diary. When I pull it out I am filled with apprehension, the last time I tried to get rid of it I was sucked into its pages and terrorized by the whispering children. This time I would be more careful to ensure its pages don't come open. I wrap it in a silk scarf Mother had bought for me the day we went to Diagon Alley to keep it closed and hidden from view. The common room is still empty and I walk out of Gryffindor House with the book tucked safely under my arm.

I realize suddenly that I have not thought this through at all. What am I going to do with the Diary? Initially I had planned on taking it to Uncle Severus, but now I don't think I could handle his disappointment to find me in position of such a dark object. He showed so much heartache and compassion for me today, I couldn't have him be ashamed of me right now, there had to be another way. I try to think of something, I should have thrown it in the lake before it froze. Where could I put this book that no one else was going to find it? I wish I was brave enough to bring the book back home with me a hide it there, but if Father found out I brought a Dark object into our home I fear being beaten would be the least of my worries. No, I had to find a place to hide the book here at the school, but where?

I hear the familiar voice of my brother coming down the corridor and panicked, he couldn't find me right now holding this book, if he asked to see it I wouldn't know what to do. I quickly pushed open the door to the girls lavatory and duck inside. It was dark and I had never been inside this particular lavatory before. Then it dawned on me, this was the abandon lavatory that was haunted by Moaning Murtle. Nobody comes in here at all. I could hide it in here, at least it would be far from Ginny. I ran over and threw it into one of the toilets before racing out. I wasn't sure who I was more afraid of seeing right now, Tom Riddle or Moaning Murtle. I ran out so quickly that I nearly ran straight into Draco.

"What were you doing in there Delia? You look like you've had the fright of your life." He asks me and Pansy looks at Crabbe and Goyle with a snicker.

"I... I forgot what bathroom that was! Theres a ghost in there wailing." I tell him, hoping he's buying my story.

He smiles at me amused and I can tell he doesn't suspect anything. 

"Where have you been? Everyones been having fun in the Great Hall all afternoon but you?" He asks.

"I had a lot of Potions work that has to be handed in tomorrow, Professor Snape told me if I didn't hand it in there would be trouble."

"Did you finish it?" he asks seriously.

"Yes." 

"Good, I wouldn't want him sending Father an owl. Why don't you have dinner with us tonight?" I can see Pansy roll her eyes behind Draco when he says this.

"I'm going down to the Great Hall now, do you know if there was still hot chocolate and biscuits?" I ask hopeful.

Should be, but you shouldn't be walking around the halls like this on your own. Crabbe! Goyle! Take my sister down to the Great Hall and then meet us back up in the common room." he demands.

"Draco, I'm fine really!"

"You are not walking there on your own, we won't discuss it! I'll see you at dinner." he say and turns to leave.

Crabbe and Goyle look at me awkwardly and I feel as if I am being escorted by two thug bodyguards. I am relieved to shake them off as soon as we arrive at the Great Hall. I walk over to our house tables and see everyone is having a great time. Ginny is beating Ron at Wizards Chess and Fred and George are having a go at him to rub it in. I notice two first years sitting at the table with bulbous blue noses and purple spots. Before I even ask I see the empty sweets wrappers on the table in front of them and realize its Fred and Georges handiwork. Everyone is laughing and having a good time, when I sit down George hands me a cup of hot chocolate and I join the fun. Knowing the diary is gone makes me feel like I have reason to celebrate a little.


	33. Chapter 33

Friday arrives before I am ready for it too. I woke up extra early to finish my packing. Esme, sensing my anxiety paces around worriedly. When Ginny finally wakes up I nearly burst into tears. I hope we will be able to find some way to keep in touch because I am going to miss her more than anything. The train departs after breakfast so I shower and dress with extra care before going down to the Great Hall. I want to make sure I look impeccable when I return home. It breaks my heart to finally bend down and scoop up my beautiful little tabby cat to say goodbye. 

"You will look after her, won't you Ginny?" I ask cradling the cat in my arms, tears falling down my face.

"You'll be back in three weeks, you'll see. I will keep her safe and loved until you return I promise." Ginny tells me. I don't have the energy to argue with her.

"I'm all set I guess." I say looking around and putting Esme on the bed. She lets out a meow and tried to come back over to me. "I love you Esme." I caress her one last time before grabbing my bag and walking out of the room. 

I carry only my bag and coat, I know the house elves will bring my trunk and things down to the train when the time comes. Ginny and I walk down together to breakfast in silence. When we get to the Great Hall everyone is excitedly talking about their holiday plans. All can think of is how scared I am. This evening I will be at home in Malfoy Manor and I suspect a visit to Fathers office would be a part of that evening.

My stomach was in knots, I couldn't bring myself to eat anything. All I could handle was a cup of tea. Ginny kept trying to encourage me to have some toast, but I couldn't. Draco came over and sat down at the Gryffindor table and everyone just stared at him. He just ignored them and asked me how I was doing. It was a big deal for him to come over here and sit down, I was shocked and flattered. I knew my big brother just wanted to help me through this. He didn't have much of an appetite and when he suggested we take a walk I was grateful to leave the table.

"Stay and eat, I'll meet up with you after." I tell Ginny as we get up to leave. She looks uncertain but agrees. 

"You need to be careful at home Delia, don't give Father any opportunity to find fault in you." 

"Its a little late for that, don't you think Draco? Father has already made up his mind about what he's going to do, I doubt an outspoke word or a hair out of place will make any difference at this point. Please, try and be nice to Ginny. She is the only friendI have ever had Draco, please." he looks incredibly irritated by my request, but I can see he doesn't have the heart to deny me in my moment of anxiety.

"Alright." he says wrapping one arm around me affectionately as we walk down the corridor.

"Miss Malfoy, a word please." I turn and see Uncle Severus standing behind us.

"I'll be right back." I tell Draco and walk towards the Professor.

"I will try and come up to The Manor as often as I can, you must be very careful around Lucius Cordelia." his words a worried warning.

"Yes Uncle." I tell him and then wrap my arms around him and begin to cry. I can feel him stiffen at first, embarrassed by my affection. He relaxes quickly and returns my embrace.

"Go to your brother, he looks besides himself. Don't forget about what I told you." he tells me pulling away and turning back toward the Great Hall.

"What did he say?" Draco asks.

"He said he would try to visit me at The Manor. The train leaves in 30 minutes Draco, come with me to find Ginny." I know he has no desire to spend the remaining half hour i have with Ginny but he comes with me quietly.

Ginny is coming out of the Great Hall when we get there and she sees I have been crying. She reaches out and gives my arm an affectionate squeeze. "I'll send you an owl everyday to let you know how everything is." She tells me.

"No! No you mustn't send her any owls, Father will be angry." Draco warns.

"He's right." I reply, feeling guilty about the look of hurt on her face.

"I'll sneak her your letters when I go home in the spring. She can send you a her reply through me." he offers. I'm grateful for his kindness.

"All students taking the train back to Kings Cross should begin to make their way to the carriages! The Carriages will be leaving in ten minutes!" Professor McGonagall shouts to those of us hanging around the outside of the Great Hall and I can hear Professor Dumbledore telling the student in the Hall the same thing

"Come, we will walk you down." Draco says, taking my bag from me. 

Ginny takes my hand and I can see her eyes are filled with tears. Together the three of us walk down the stairs to that carriages waiting for us.

"Write me if you can and let me know how you are. If I can I will try and send you word from Ginny. I love you Cordelia." my brother tells me looking so sad, he pulls me into hug and kisses me on the top of my head.

"I'm going to miss you Delia! Please try and come back after Christmas, I don't know what I'll do without you." she sobs hugging me. 

Before I am ready I must release them both and climb into the carriage. I sit inside alone drawing a blanket around my legs as the door shuts and begins to move. My sadness is swallowing me up inside, to leave them is one of the worst feeling I have ever experienced. Nothing my Father could do to me would match the pain of being separated from Ginny and Draco.

The train is nearly empty and I am grateful to have a compartment to myself. I have no desire to speak with anyone and I don't want anyone else to see how upset I am. I wrap myself up in a blanket and turn off the light. I spend almost the entire trip staring out the window watching the frozen countryside pass by. Its hours before London comes into view and I take myself to the lavatory to wash my face and tidy my hair. I don't want to get off the train looking like a disheveled mess when it arrives.

I see the station ahead and as the platform comes into view, I scan the crowd searching for my Mother. She stands a distance from most of the families looking round excitedly for their children. She does not share their excitement, she does not search me out. She just stands there, perfectly dressed and beautiful, but not happy. I grab my bag and walk out onto the platform. 

"Hello Mother." I say when I approach her.

"Hello Cordelia. You must go find your trunk so we can be on our way." she says, avoiding my eye contact. 

I quickly find my trunk with all the others that have been unloaded onto the platform. I grab the handle and wheel it over to Mother.

"Is that everything then?" she asks me a little impatiently.

"Yes Ma'am."

"Good, then let us be off. I don't want to keep your Father waiting." she grabs me by the wrist and we sidelong apparate to The Manor, something my mother detests. I think it makes her feel little queasy to apparate someone with her. With a pop we are standing in the foyer of Malfoy Manor.

"Go get yourself ready for dinner, your Father has guests this evening." before I have a chance to ask her who, she apparates again and I am standing in the foyer alone. Welcome home to me.


	34. Chapter 34

When I walk into my room I can't help but remember that the last time I was in this room I was so excited about my future. Now I am back and the world feels like it's come to an end, yet everything here looks exactly as it did when I left. I toss my bag down in the sitting room chair and start to cry again. Mother acted even colder than usual at the station, as if she was picking up paperwork instead of the daughter she hadn't seen in months. She barely even looked and me, let alone showed any sign she was happy to see me. She had to know I was terrified of what Father had in store for me. Would it have been so hard to try and show me a moment of kindness or affection? She was happy for me when I left, how could she just turn her back on me now? I could feel myself getting angrier with her as I thought about it. I am her only daughter and I love her. Why doesn't she love me back? What did I ever do to make them hate me so much? Why! Why couldn't I have been someone else child, someone who would have wanted me and loved me? 

As my anger began to explode inside me I ripped off my coat and threw it on the chair next to my bag. When the coat landed on the large upholstered chair it sent the chair flying halfway across the room. It shouldn't have, there was no way I could have thrown anything on the chair with that much force, but it did. The surprise of it all caused me to stop crying. This was magic of some sort. I hadn't intended to use magic, I had no idea how or why I did it. I didn't even have my wand out, but this was definitely some sort of magic. It made me remember Uncle Severus' words about wandless magic. 

Before I could think much more on it there was a pop behind me, and my sweet house elves stood in the middle of the room with a tray of tea and biscuits. 

"Dobby! Tansy! I've missed you!." I ran to them both, hugging them.

They both returned my embrace enthusiastically. Tansy was even crying and Dobby went over to the lounge table to put down the tea tray.

"We are both so glad to see Miss! We have been missing you! Would Miss care for a cup of tea?" Tansy cried, the words tumbling out of her like rapid fire.

"I am so happy to see you too. I'll have some tea in just a bit, thank you." I told them. Tansy looked so sad though, not like someone who was happy to see a long lost friend. More like someone who had just received rather sad news and didn't know what to say.

Dobby sensing my concern tried to put a very large smile on his face, but being forced it ended up looking more creepy than reassuring.

"Who are Fathers dinner guests? Mother said there would be guests, but she didn't say who." I asked them. I could see my question distressed Tansy even further and Dobby reached up and patted her on the arm.

"Dobby does not know." she says nervously. "Master does not say. Dobby and Tansy must go back to the kitchen to prepare. Welcome home Miss." And with that there was another pop and they both disappeared leaving me to feel even warier about my homecoming. Something was obviously worrying Tansy, something neither of them felt they could tell me about. 

I sat down on the small settee next to the table and poured myself a cup of tea. Looking towards the large arched window, I can see it had started to snow and the sky is dark and foreboding. It was as if it was warning me exactly how grim my night was to become. Dinner was not for another two hours, but I was getting incredibly anxious. 

After I finished my tea I nervously went to my closet and tried to figure out what to wear. I didn't want to go downstairs and do this, my fear is really starting to take over. I can't even think straight. I'm looking at all of clothes and my brain can't focus through the panic I am starting to feel. I feel like I am getting ready for my own execution right now. What does one where for that sort of occasion?

I am certain my Father has plans to make me pay dearly tonight. How, I can only imagine. I expect a terrible beating will play a part of it, but my Father is at a whole new level of angry with me. My heart tells me it will be far worse than just a whipping. Father has proclivity towards cruelty, I have watched him take great pleasure in it. I have no doubt something terrible awaits me. 

My hair is not coming out right no matter what I do and I keep looking at myself in the mirror feeling like a mess. It only makes my panic even more intense and I start thinking about how I could possibly run away instead. It wouldn't do any good. There is nowhere I could go my Father wouldn't be able to find me, still it seems more hopeful than walking into the lions den.

Thirty minutes before dinner Dobby pops in to check on me, only to find me sitting on my bathroom floor crying.

"I can't do it Dobby, I'm scared of Father. Please, Please get me out of here. Take me someplace safe, please. I know you can do it. Apparate me back to Hogwarts please! I know you can!" I am hysterical and Dobby's face is mixed with anguish and heart ache.

"Dobby wants to do anything to help Miss, but Miss knows Dobby cannot defy Master. Dobby is so sorry Miss." he sniffles, trying to put his arms around me. I push him away.

"You could do it, you just won't." I snapped.

"Please Miss, let Dobby help you get ready." he pleads taking a flannel and running it under the tap before attempting to wipe my face.

I take it from him and continue to wipe my face, while he tidies my messy hair and smooths the creases in my skirt and blouse. Looking at myself in the mirror I can see I look much better, but i still feel horrible. Dobby quickly polishes my black flats before handing them to me.

"Miss needs to go down to the dinning room now. Please, Master must not be made angry with Miss." he says coaxing me towards the door. I take a deep breathe and open the door, the time has come and there is nothing I can do but do as I am told.


	35. Chapter 35

The halls of Malfoy Manor seem darker and more intimidating than usual. I know my perception of everything is being tempered by my anxiety, but now more than ever Malfoy Manor feels like my prison. When I reach the large stone staircase leading downstairs I grasp the banister to steady myself. My hand trembles slightly and my legs feel weak. I feel so shaky that I don't trust myself not to fall and I descend the stairs cautiously.

I can see Fathers office door down the long dark hallway at the bottom of the stairs, it causes me to catch my breath and feel even more tense than before. Nigel sits on his perch just outside the office door and lets out an irritated squak when he sees me. It makes me jump because I halfway expect to see Father open his door to see what offended his precious owl. The door thankfully remains closed.

The dinning room is just past the entry hall, across from the landing. I compose myself and cross the last buffer of space between myself and where my fears lie. Letting Father see how intimidated I am would be viewed as a sign of weakness, another failure. I take a calming breath and straighten my posture before entering the dinning room, which is thankfully empty.

The long table has been shrunk down and even though there is still space to sit a dozen people, there are places set for five. Father always sits at the head of the table closest to the entrance and Mother sits at the opposite head. To his right is where his guests are always seated, unless there is more than one. Then the seat is saved for his favored guest. When it is just our family, Draco is seated to Fathers right. I wish Draco was here right now, I know I would feel braver with him near.

The dining room is set elegantly. Our best sterling silver chargers are polished and set at each place setting. Our finest grey silk embroider table cloth and cream coloured French linen serviettes compliment the heavy silver candle holders where dark green candlesticks flicker. Heavy crystal wine and water goblets catch their light. Whoever our guests are they must surely be important. I say a small prayer that this could provide me with another small window of time, for if my Father is more interested in his guests he may choose to attend to me later. It could have the opposite affect however, entertaining can often lead to more wine and a little fire whiskey. A dangerous addition when Father is in the wrong frame of mind. 

My seat is usually to my Mother's right, but tonight there is no place setting in that spot. Instead, there are two place settings to Father's right and one to his left. Mother's place has been set at the end of the table alone. I am not sure what to do and I tense hearing footsteps coming down the stone hallway. Mother appears at the entrance of the dinning room and lets out a heavy sigh as she crosses the room toward her seat.

"Good evening Mother." I say to her in a hesitant voice, I want so much to ask her for help. For some sort of reassurance or sign she feels something for me in my predicament. She avoids my gaze and busies herself adjusting the rings on her right hand.

"You should find your seat Cordiela, I am sure your Father will be joining us shortly." she says curtly, finally glancing up at me. Her face stoney, she gestures to the single place setting directly to Fathers left. I would be right within striking distance in that seat.

I wanted to ask Mother so many questions, but her body language made it clear she wanted distance from me. Her behavior reminded me I was alone in Malfoy Manor, regardless of the affection she may have shown me before I left. She was obviously as disgusted in me as my Father, I wish I could somehow explain to her how sorry I was for the way things had turned out. I knew she wasn't interested in anything I had to say now. She looked nervous sitting uncomfortably in her seat and alone.

I took the seat Mother had gestured too and waited. The clock above the fireplace ticked loudly and the fire roared below, I still felt a chill. I was so lost in my own thoughts, staring into the flickering flames of the candles that I failed to hear my Father until he announced his entrance into the room.

"Good evening Narcissa, Cordeila." he nodded at me with a chilling smile on his lips. "So nice to see the Prodigal Daughter has returned." he says with a mocking little bow before taking his seat.

The house elves instantly appeared, pouring wine for Father and then Mother. Father never took his eyes off of me and wore and expression you might expect to see on a cat, who had just cornered his pray. Unnerved I looked away and stared at the table setting in front of me. None of us spoke, but I could see Father swirling his wine in his glass out of the corner of my eye. Whoever his guests were, I hoped they would show up now before Father snapped. It wouldn't take much to push him over the edge, I could feel it. He was enjoying watching me sit at this enormous table so close to him in fear. He was in total control of the room and he was savoring it.

The intensity of the room was broken slightly by the sounds of hushed voices approaching the dinning room. I turned to to see who would be joining us and I noticed Father never took his eyes off me, not even to see who was entering. I realized why when they entered the room. My Grandmother Ophelia walked in with another woman much younger than her. I was so shocked by her appearance that I sat there frozen with my mouth half open.

"Are you not going to greet your Grandmother Cordelia?" Father taunted, clearly enjoying himself. "How very rude of you my dear, we must really work on your manners." It took me a few more seconds to find my voice, I couldn't take my eyes off of my Grandmother. She was wearing the same conspiratory grin as my Father. It's hard to believe that someone so beautiful could be so frightening. She had blonde hair, not quite as light as ours and stunning turquoise coloured eyes. Her hair was twisted up in the back and held in place by elaborate silver clips and as usual, she was dressed in elegantly in a long black dress that nearly reached the floor. Whenever I have seen her I always had a hard time imagining her as Father's Mother. She barely looks ten years older than Father. Draco used to tease me when we were little by saying she was a vampire because of her youthful look. 

I finally got my wits together and greeted her nervously. "So good to see you Grandmother, I hope you have been well." is all I can come up with and as I hear myself saying it I realize how shaky my voice sounds. She doesn't even acknowledge my greeting. I look over at my Mother and for a fleeting second I think I see a glimmer empathy on her face before she puts her wineglass to her mouth and looks away.

Grandmother takes the seat to Father's right, directly across from me. I see no kindness or affection in this woman eyes, I never have. I am so unnerved by her appearance that I barely notice the woman who accompanies her. She has dark brown hair brushed neatly behind her shoulders, vibrant green eyes and a warm olive complexion. Her clothing is much simpler than Grandmothers, a black fitted jacket and skirt with a white silk blouse, but obviously expensive. Grandmother often traveled with a companion, someone to attend to her needs and schedule. I am assuming that is what this woman's presence is for, especially when Father doesn't acknowledge her.

The house elves reappear and fill wine glasses before serving the starters, I don't know how I am going to eat. My stomach is empty, having not eaten all day, but looking at the prawns on the plate before me makes me want to vomit. Anxiety has taken its toll and I hope I don't get sick at the table on top of it all. Father reaches down into the pocket of his robes and produces a small, flat, green satin box with a matching green ribbon. He places it on the table and the slides it in my direction. I look at him, but I don't touch the box. Father has never given me a gift before and I don't expect him to start now. I look at my Mother questioningly, wondering if I am meant to pass it to her. The look on her face was not what I expected. She looked from me, to the box and I could see sadness in her face.

"Open it Cordelia." Father says. I hear his words but I still don't understand. "Open it. I bought it just for you after all, something special." he grins.

Again I look at my Mother, and this time she looks like she's on the verge of saying something, but she does not. Instead she looks at my Father angrily and takes another sip of her wine. Tentatively I pluck up the courage to take the box. Carefully I pull back the lid and inside sits a small emerald studded platinum bracelet that looks exactly like a snake. It tilts it head up and stares at me with its emerald eyes before flicking out its tongue. I don't know how to even react to Father's gift and I don't trust it. 

"Don't you like it?" he asks, feigning concern.

"Yes Father, it's lovely. It was very generous of you Sir, thank you." I answer him nervously, still holding the box in my hand.

"Well, put it on then and show us. Your Grandmother was so kind to bring it for me all the way from France." 

"Thank you Grandmother." I say, because I am still really not sure how to react to the bracelet. She just smiles at me cooly.

I reach into the box and gingerly take the small snake. It continues to flick its tongue searchingly and begins to slither up my hand and around my wrist. When it's wrapped itself around my right wrist completely it bares its teeth and strikes. I gasp and jump slightly, expecting it to bit me, but it doesn't, instead it bites down on its own tail and the face slowly vanishes, the only evidence it was even there are the two emerald eyes. It no longer resembles a snake, just a simple bracelet. 

"It suits you." Grandmothers says and returns to her starter. I am dumbfounded, I know I am missing something very important and I feel foolish not knowing what it is.

Once everyones attention seems to turn towards conversation and their food I allow myself to relax a little. I am grateful to be ignored for the majority of the meal while Grandmother speaks to Father about her life in Monaco and the comings and goings of French Pureblood society. It's not until desert and aperitifs are being served that the conversation begins to drift uncomfortably closer to home. 

"Your Father tells my you're in Gryffindor Cordeila, thats quite a feat isn't it? How does it feel to be the very first Malfoy in Gryffindor?" she asks pretending it was a genuine question. 

"Your Grandmother asked you a question Cordelia." Father said a little sternly. 

"I...I don't know." was all I could say keeping my eyes down on my plate. 

"You must look at people when the speak to you child." she says, and I could hear a note of irritation in her voice. I could feel myself being baited by my Father and Grandmother. They were leading me somewhere in this conversation and I knew wherever it was going, it wouldn't be good. 

"I'm sorry Grandmother." I answered her meekly, making a point to hold her gaze as I apologized. I glanced back to my Mother again and she looked pained. 

"Yes, well..this is what happens when you don't keep order with your children. Doesn't it Narcissa." she said to my mother as if she were addressing a naughty child. My Mother still said nothing. "You simply cannot raise a young witch without a firm hand, look what happens." gesturing to me. "Your Mother knew better, didn't she Narcissa? Druella made sure you and your sisters had the guidance you needed to be graceful and obedient young ladies." 

"Yes." Mother answered her stiffly, looking pale. 

"Yes, she did." Grandmother toyed with her. "And you Cordelia, you are a very lucky little girl because your Grandmother has brought you a very special gift." she grinned. My left hand reflexively went to my wrist where the bracelet hung. 

"Lucius please." Mother finally spoke up. Father held up his index finger and shot her a warning look that silenced her. 

"Have you met our guest Cordelia?" Grandmother asked, gesturing to the woman sitting next to her. "This is Miss. Vail, she's to be your new Governess." she smiled, so pleased with the look of shock on my face. 

My eyes went to the woman sitting next to my Grandmother and I could see the same cool, emotionless expression. 

"Hello Cordelia, it's nice to finally meet you. Your Grandmother and Father have told me so much about you." she said with a voice as devoid of emotion as her expression. I was still so horrified by the information I had just received that I sat there in silence. "We really are going to have to work on these manners." I looked around the table, both Father and Grandmother had a smug expression on their faces and my Mother looked broken. 

"No..No, please, let me go back to Hogwarts Father, please." I started to cry, reality caving in on me. If Miss. Vale was really my Governess, I would never see Ginny again and I would likely rarely leave Malfoy Manor again. This couldn't happen. I would rather Father beat me half to death than this, but I could see it was all true. 

"Now, is that how we show appreciation for a gift? I think not." Father scolded mockingly. "Take the child from the table Miss Vale, I do not wish for the rest of the evening to be overshadowed by her poor behavior." he told her dismissively . 

"Please.." I whispered, tears still running down my face. "Please Father." I begged, hoping for a thread of compassion where there was none. 

"You're starting an anger me Cordelia. If I have to get up to remove you from this table your Mother will be flooing for a healer." I could see in his eyes he meant it and I slowly got up and walked out of the dinning room towards the stairs, Miss Vale at my side.


	36. Chapter 36

I ran through the entrance hall and up the stairs as fast as I could, I wanted to run away from the world I was just dropped into. I wanted the solace of my room, even if it was fleeting. My feet barely touched a step before reaching for the next. Faster than ever I descend the staircase to the third floor. As soon as I hit the third floor landing I turn right, towards the East wing and the sanctuary of my room. Before I can take a step from the landing towards my room a hand closes tightly around my left wrist, nails digging into my pale skin. I tried to jerk myself free, but in only causes her to tighten her grip and dig her nails deeper into my flesh.

"Let go of me! All I am doing is going to my room." I yelled at her through my tears.

"Your room is this way Cordelia." gesturing left, towards the West wing.

"No it's not." I cried, continuing to struggle against her grip.

My size and strength were no match for her and she half drags me down the corridor till we reached the end. Miss Vale opened the door to the nursery, where Draco and I had spent our early years together with Nanny. She shoved me roughly through the door before entering and closing it behind her, turning the lock and removing the key, before placing it in her pocket. I looked around the room, rubbing my wrist. I could feel where her nails had broken the skin, but I wasn't giving her the satisfaction of looking.

When Draco and I lived in the Nursery it was decorated in cheerful shades of yellow, blue and green. The soft cream carpet was gone, leaving the cold stone floors exposed. Where our play area used to be was now what looked like a small classroom equipped for one student and teacher. A large heavy dark wooden desk with a smaller matching desk facing it. Gone were all of the colorful paintings of gardens and the sea. They were replaced portraits of My Grandmothers Ophelia and Druella.

To the right was still a sitting area, but it too was changed. A dark green settee replaced the once cozy pale blue one and two matching heavy upholstered armchairs sat on opposite sides of dark wooden sitting room table. A fire burned in the large sitting room fireplace and above the mantle stood a recent Malfoy family portrait. Father seated in a dinning room chair holding his walking stick in his right hand, Draco at his side. Mother with her hand on Fathers left shoulder and me standing next to her. Nobody smiled in the portrait, we all looked uncomfortably stiff and unhappy. It was as if the painter was able to capture our feeling as well as our likenesses. Beyond the front room lay two doors, both leading to large bedrooms with ensuite bathrooms. 

"Sit down please." Miss Vale said, gesturing to the couch and taking a seat in one of the armchairs closer to the fire. I stood still, staring at her angrily, still clutching my wrist. "It was not a request." her voice much firmer this time, losing some of its unnatural composure. I cautiously walk over to the the couch and sit down, never taking my eyes off of her. She looks at me appraisingly and I can see her taking pleasure in my compliance. 

"Cordelia, do you understand why your family has entrusted me with your care?" I remain silent, glaring back at her. She looked slightly amused at my defiance and continues. "Your Father and Grandmother have brought me to Malfoy Manor because things are not what they should be. You're lacking in manners, poise and most of all obedience. You're bringing embarrassment to your family and that needs to change. Am I making myself clear." she asks, in a tone you would use with a toddler.

I am too angry and upset to answer and I can see her slowly becoming annoyed. "When I ask you a question you will answer me. You will only be hurting yourself with this defiance. Now, I am going to ask you once more. Am I making myself clear?" she asks sternly. When her question is still met with silence I can see anger flash in her eye.

"Suit yourself." She said standing up and reaching for a dark green glass jar on the mantle and then grabbing me roughly by the upper arm.

"Let go of me!" I yelled, trying to free myself. She didn't say anything till we were standing in the center of the room between the sitting area and class space. She released my arm and I could feel it would be bruised because of her roughness. I stood there as she removed the lid of the glass jar and poured what looked like white sand in a thick line on the stone floor.

"Kneel on the line. When you're ready to behave yourself let me know." she put one hand on my shoulder, pushing me down while her other hand lifted my skirt slightly to ensure my bare knees came in contact with the floor. 

After she seemed satisfied with her work she walked back to her chair next to the fire, picked up a book that was sitting on the end table and began to read. Kneeling on the line is uncomfortable, but not what i would call painful. I am feeling more humiliated than anything. After a few minutes though, I realized this was not going to be as easy as I had thought. The sand slowly started to irritate my knees and when I start to shift my weight a little it only feels like it's grinding it in deeper into my skin. After about fifteen minutes of kneeling in the silent room I start to feel a burning sensation coming from my irritated knees. It's not sand I realize, it's salt and as the skin on my knees starts to open up in small spots it burns. After thirty minutes I am in agony, trying my best not to move at all. The pain has become unbearable, yet I do my best to hide it. I can't control the tears running down my face or the shaking in my hands, but I don't want to give her the satisfaction of begging to be allowed up.

It takes me nearly an hour before I break, my knees feeling as though they were on hot coals. "Please." is all I can get through my tears. I hear her walking across the stone floor before I see her. She stands in from of me, but I cannot make myself look at her.

"Was there something you wished to say?" She asked in an amused tone. It pains me nearly us much to ask to be relived of this punishment then it does to kneel and for a moment I can't find my voice. "No? Nothing to say? It makes not difference to me if you stay there all night." 

"Please....I...I'm sorry." I finally say in surrender, praying now she will allow me to stand.

"Know this Cordeila Malfoy, it is never wise to disobey me. You will only be hurting yourself. As your Governess it is completely within my rights to administer any form of punishment I see fit, whenever I see fit. I will always do what needs to be done and you will learn. Do you understand?" she says harshly while I continue to tremble on my knees.

"Yes." I give her the answer I think she wants, but for a moment she is silent.

"Yes what?" she scolds

"Yes Ma'am, I will do as you ask." I answer her, my voice breaking a little.

"Thats better isn't it?" she smiles. "I think it's time you've gone to bed." she dismisses me, gesturing to the room I used to share with my brother,

Carefully I get up. It's even more painful than I had expected and my whole body aches. I walk carefully past Ms. Vale, who seems to be returning to her book as if nothing had happened. I want to scream, but I keep myself together until I walk into my room and close the door behind me. As soon as it's shut I begin to sob, the pain in my heart matching my knees. I look down at my legs and my knees look burned, glowing bright pink and speckled with blood. All I can think of is I can't live like this for the next seven years, I know I have to find away to save myself because nobody else will.

I draw a hot bath to soak my raw skin and stiff body. I miss Ginny, Draco and Esme. I even miss Uncle Severus. What kind of life will I have now? I can't spend the next seven years of my life like this. When I am finally exhausted from crying and stress, I drag myself out of the bath and wrap myself in a heavy grey bath towel. There is a large closet off the bathroom and I begin opening drawers in search of my pajamas. Everything that is hanging in the closet is new. None of the clothing from my bedroom is in here. There is nothing but simple blouses in various shades of grey, white, green and black and dark wool skirts and cardigans hanging in the closet. The drawers are filled with white cotton nightgowns and pajamas. Grey, black and white knee socks and tights and white under clothes fill another drawer.

I pull out the first nightgown I find and put it on. The wrist twinges a bit when the fabric touches the spot Miss. Vale grabbed me earlier and I can see several crescent shaped marks where her nails have broke the skin. I climb up into the high four poster bed and draw up the dark bedding all around me. Its hard to believe I woke up safe at Hogwarts this morning next to Ginny with my beloved Esme curled up at my feet. So much has happened and it already feels so long ago. I point my wand at the candles in the room, extinguishing them. Placing my wand on the nightstand and hoping sleep will come quickly to take me away from this place. I close my eyes and listen to the sounds of the storm outside, exhaustion thankfully takes hold and I fall into a deep sleep.


	37. Chapter 37

When I wake in the morning for a moment I can’t remember where I am. I have awoken in my dorm near Ginny for the last several months and this is most certainly not our dorm. It is not my bedroom either. It’s only when I sit up in my bed and feel the sting from my knees that the previous night replays in my head. I am not at Hogwarts anymore, Ginny is not here with me and everything has gone terribly wrong.

It’s very early, and the sun has only started to give the sky a subtle orange and pink hue. I am not even sure what is expected of me right now. All I know is that I don’t want to make enough noise to attract the attention of my new Governess. From what little I got to know of her last night, she didn’t seem to be the type you wanted to have long conversations with.

I walked over to the window and tried to look out through the dim light. During the night a frost had formed on the window making it harder to see through. I pushed the heavy ottoman over from the reading chair and stand on it gripping the bottom of the window tightly and pulling it up as hard as I can. Eventually the exterior ice gave way and the window slid upward letting a cold blast of air inside. 

I couldn't believe how cold it was, but the beauty was what took my breath away. Everything as far as I could see was covered in a soft white blanket of new snow. It looked like a fairytale, down to the shimmer of the light catching the snow. I could see my breath in the frigid air. It was so cold and so quiet that I couldn’t help but sit in the window sill in my thin nightgown taking it in. It was as if a peacefulness existed beyond my window that would never exist in our home, I wanted to soak it in to get me through the coming day. 

I sat there for close to ten minutes before the chill became too much, and I quietly pulled the window shut. My heavy grey dressing gown is on the chair next to my bed and I put it on over my nightgown and wander into the bathroom. All I can think to do is begin to prepare myself for the day, there is no point in waiting and being caught off guard. After I wash my face with hot water and brush my teeth, I grab my brush off the bathroom sink and begin running it through my hair and walk towards the closet. 

Nothing in my closet inspires me, it’s all so drab and cheerless. I hastily grab a dark plaid skirt, white blouse and dark grey cardigan and get dressed. Looking at my bear legs I am torn between hiding my damaged knees with tights that might stick to the open wounds or exposing them and preventing myself any additional discomfort. I choose the latter and pull out a pair of dark grey knee socks and a pair of black Mary Jane shoes that seem juvenile to me, but similar to everything else in the closet.

I am sitting at the dressing table finishing my hair when my bedroom door opens. “We will begin our lessons at seven every morning, before breakfast. I will expect you to be in your seat by seven and no later. Tardiness is something I do not tolerate.” And with that she shut the door behind her.

“Good morning to you too, you vapid troll.” I said to myself while finish up my hair. I tie it back in a ponytail with a black ribbon and look at myself. I look very plain, I guess that was the point. I also feel smaller, maybe it’s because I feel like I have no control over anything anymore. Whatever it is, I am not going to cower. I’m not giving Father, or this retched woman the satisfaction.

When I open my bedroom door I find the main room much like it was the night before. The fire is crackling in the fireplace and instead of her seat in the arm chair, Miss Vale is perched at her desk, reading a book. I take my seat at the smaller desk in front of her, but she does not look up from her book. The clock on the bookshelf says it is a little past six forty five and I visually peruse the titles on the shelf. There is a whole series of books entitled “The Noble Witch's Guide to” including names like “The Noble Witch's Guide to Etiquette” and “The Noble Witches Guide to Courtship”. There are a few antiquated looking books on transfiguration, defensive spells and history, most of which revolve around “The Sacred Twenty-Eight” and other pureblood nonsense.

None of my Hogwarts school books are amongst the collection, and most of the subjects I had been studying for the last few months are not here. Even Potions and Herbology, subjects I had learned from Mother and Uncle Severus since I was little are absent. Hopefully I can at least keep myself up on the subjects I am lacking by utilizing our library, because this looks dismal. I know my Father wanted me to be pretty, perfect and obedient, but I didn't think he wanted me growing up an empty headed troll either. 

Miss Vale tapped her wand on her desk to attract my attention, it's seven o'clock. "Take out some parchment, ink and a quill. We are going to begin Etiquette." She says, waving her wand towards the book shelf, summoning the copy of "A Noble Witch's Guide to Etiquette", which lands quietly on my desk and opens up to the first page. The lesson is dry and boring, and she talks to me like a little child. I am relieved when we break for breakfast, but I know this is just the beginning. 

The dinning room is empty when we arrive and I am a little annoyed when I see that I am now going to be sitting with Miss. Vale at meals too. I had heard that a Governess was always with you to correct any faults, but I deeply disliked this woman already and every loss of space feels oppressive, which is probably the desired effect, but still. When My Mother arrives I ignore her, quickly causing Miss. Vale to respond. "Cordelia, you haven't greeted your Mother." 

I bristle a little and then shoot Mother an angry look, "So good to see you Mother." I say, my voice laced with sarcasm. I can see Mis Vale staring at me out of the corner of my eye, but don't acknowledge her. 

"Good morning Delia." my mother answers wearing a complicated expression. It's not one of annoyance like I expected, she looks almost little hurt. 

Father joins us soon after, escorting Grandmother. "Good morning all." Father greets us, seeming unusually happy."Mother and I were just discussing some of the details for the Christmas Ball." he tells us, pulling out Grandmother's chair for her. 

"Yes, Narcissa I was thinking how lovely it would be to have the Mordrek Orchestra play, don't you think?" Grandmother said to Mother even though I could tell she wasn't really asking Mothers opinion. 

The Malfoy Christmas Ball is a major event in Pureblood society, its also Mothers event. She starts planning it over the summer and I know by now she probably has everything planned down to the tiniest detail. She certainly wouldn't still be mulling over who would be playing the music so close to the actual date. I can see Mother stiffen, but Father and Grandmother don't seem to notice. 

Nobody seems to pay any attention to me and I am grateful. I sit there silently eating my bowl of porridge listening to Father fall all over Grandmother. I occasionally look at my Mother because she doesn't say a word and I can see she hurt and annoyed. I wish she would find her voice again. The day at Diagon Alley before school I could see a glimmer of the person she was when I was little. Today I can see her withdrawing, it makes me think how much I don't want to be like her when I grow up. I would rather live in a shack all alone, than live like her. It's like she's barely living at all sometimes. 

"Narcissa, I am afraid I won't be able to accompany you tomorrow to visit your sister. I have urgent business at the Ministry all week. So much needs to be attended to before everything closes for the Holidays. I do hope you understand." I can see that Father knows this is a serious complication his has just dropped on Mother. It is the only time of the year she actually gets to see Aunt Bella. Every year before Christmas most of the prisoners are allowed a visit from there closest relatives. Mother looks forward to these visits even though they take a terrible toll and her and I cannot remember a year when Father didn't accompany her. She looks as if Father had reached out and struck her. 

"But..but Lucius, you know how important this is, we go every year." I can hear the pain in her voice and now I feel a little guilty for the way I was with her earlier. 

"Yes, I know. I do hate to disappoint you my dear, but this is the Ministry we are talking about." Father says to her with in voice that makes it clear he has no intention of changing his plans. 

For a few minutes the room is quiet, except for the clinking of china and silverware, everyone is eating in silence. I avoid my Mothers direction because I don't want to see her cry and I am worried she may. 

"Perhaps Cordelia could accompany me?" She finally asks, in a weak voice. 

"A child at Azkaban Prison, really Narcissa that's absolutely scandalous. Don't you think?" My Grandmother scolds. 

"Why would it be scandalous for her to visit Bella? She is eleven years old and Bella has never even met her. You know how hurt she is going to be when you don't come and I couldn't bear to make the trip alone." I am not used to hearing Mother argue with Father and I am starting to wonder if I have been misjudging her a little. 

"Lucius, surely you're not going to allow this!" Grandmother snaps, looking looking at my Father. 

"Narcissa, can we not discuss this later? The emotional nature of all this is spoiling my breakfast." Father is starting to look angry and I am really wishing I was not sitting so close to him right now. I don't even move because I am afraid of attracting his attention when he's like this. 

"If you're going to abandon me to do this without you, the least you could do is let me take my daughter so I won't be alone." Mother tells him and I am shocked to hear her speak to him like this, especially in front of my Grandmother. I can see Father is also surprised by her display of emotion and it takes him a few seconds to compose himself. I am worried he is going to be very angry with her, but suddenly his face looks calmer and I can tell he is pushing down his anger so that things don't get any worse in front of my Grandmother. 

"Very well, have it your way." he tells her dismissively "Take the child with you to that nut house, but don't be surprised if Bella rubs off on her and then what will we do with her?" he looks at me warningly.

I don't want to go to Azkaban. It never occurred to me Father would say yes, and I find this new twist to be most undesirable. I might be safer in a den of werewolves on a full moon than at Azkaban. The place is crawling with lethal, murderous lunatics and dementors. For once I wanted to agree with my Grandmother, surely this really wasn't a place to take children! Instead I sit there in shock hoping somehow Mother or Father will change their minds. Maybe this is just some crazy dream and I will wake up back in Hogwarts. I don't want to meet my Aunt Bella, did they all forget that she was as mad as a hatter. What was my Mother thinking?


	38. Chapter 38

My mind is spinning when I leave breakfast, I still cannot believe my Mother is taking me to Azkaban with her tomorrow. I think I would honestly prefer staying in my room all day with the Fabulous Miss. Vale, than going with my Mother. I am so preoccupied with the thoughts of all the horrible things that could possible happen to me at Azkaban, that I don't even think that I have anything more pressing to worry about. I couldn't be more wrong. 

I sat down at my desk expecting to begin the next subject for the day when I notice Miss. Vale is eying me peculiarly. After last night I am already feeling the need to be careful around her and there is a warning alarm going off in my brain telling me that this is not good. 

"Do you normally treat your Mother with such blatant disrespect, or was that just for my entertainment?" I am not even entirely sure what she's on about given all the crazy information I have just had to process already this morning.

"I beg your pardon?" I ask, truly feeling a little bit clueless.

"You went out of your way to ignore your Mother at breakfast and then you spoke to her in a tone that was completely unacceptable." she said seriously.

All I could do is stare at her blankly. My Mother just said she was taking me to the place where some of the most dangerous wizards on earth are being housed and all she took away from that conversation was that I had "a tone". I have a hard time believing we are even having this conversation right now. A part of me wants to say. "You know you're right, I shouldn't have spoken to Mother like that. I should be made to spend the whole of tomorrow in my room as punishment." but I know thats not what she has in mind, so I continue to just stare at her like a twit.

"And how do you think I should address this behavior or your's?" she asked me, I wasn't sure if she was really asking me or if she was getting ready to say something else. So, for another few seconds I just stared at her before I realized my silence was going to get me in even more trouble.

"I..I don't know Miss. Vale."

"So, we are in agreement that your behavior this morning was unbefitting a young lady are we not?" She said a little sharper than she had spoken up until now. 

"I guess so." Is all I can say sheepishly, rubbing my arm nervously and avoiding her stare.

"I guess so? Look at me when I speak to you Cordelia!." She snapped, I physically jumped a little when she said it and my eyes met hers. I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach that she might pull out the salt again. "Your Father made it very clear that this defiance of yours was to be quelled immediately, by whatever means need be. You do understand that this sort of behavior is what brought your Grandmother and your Father in search of a Governess, don't you? How shameful it is for such a noble family as the Malfoy's to have a child openly show disrespect towards one of her parents in the presence of guests and staff. Do you realize how that sort of behavior would be perceived by other members of Pureblood society? It would shame your family Cordelia, and it will no longer be tolerated."

I feel like whatever she has in store for me it must be pretty terrible. She wears the same expression my Father wears when he is about to beat me. She has the same cruel look in her eyes too. 

"Take out some parchment, you're going to write some lines." I am totally surprised by this statement. I had expected her to produce a cane or strap like my Father, but instead she opened her desk drawer and pulled out a black quill with a silver tip. "You will be using this quill." I pulled out the parchment and some ink as she walked over. "You won't be needing any ink with this particular quill."

Puzzled I put the ink back in my desk and took the quill from her. It was very beautiful, I don't understand why she wants me to use this one and risk breaking it when I have a drawer full of completely good ones of my own. 

"You're to write, I must respect my Mother." she says, I still can't believe writing lines was worth all this build up. 

"How many times?" I ask. 

"Until I am satisfied you have learned your lesson." she said with a condecending voice. Great, I guess that means I will be doing this for the next ten hours. It's still better what I would have expected from Father.

I carefully lay out my parchment and begin my work, taking care to keep my handwriting neat. It doesn't seem like a difficult task at all, until the back of my left hand starts to sting. At first I think I must have scratched it without knowing, but the pain quickly gets worse and when I look at it I can see the words I have written slowly appearing it red welts on the back of my hand. I am shocked by this. The welts are speckled with blood, its as if someone had scratched the words on my hand with a pin. When I look up at Miss. Vale she looks pleased., sitting behind her desk with a cool smile on her lips. 

"I didn't ask you to stop." she warned, looking smug. "Continue with your work." 

The thought of writing these words again and causing even more damage to my hand is harrowing, but I can tell by the look on her face that she is more than willing to come up with an even more sadistic punishment should I try to resit. Its agonizing, but I continue. After only a few lines the words are carved into the back of my hand and a small drop of blood has dripped on the parchment. I am silently crying and praying this won't continue much longer when I hear a familiar pop. 

I look up see the sad green eyes of our house elf Dobby. He looks at my hand and then up at me and I can see him hold back tear before turning to face Miss. Vale. 

"Mistress Malfoy wishes to take tea with young Miss in her sitting room. She wishes for young Miss to join her now." His words sound like an answer to my prayers because it puts an end to my writing, at least for now. 

"Very well." Miss. Vale tells Dobby waving him off and looking decidedly annoyed at this interruption. "Go clean yourself up and get ready for your Mother." she tells me, and I am dismissed.


	39. Chapter 39

My Mothers sitting room was a place I rarely found myself invited into. It is her private sanctuary where even Father was not permitted without an invitation. It's more feminine than the rest of the house, and there are fresh flowers on the tea table, as well as the end tables. Mother loves orchids, and her favorite is the white and purple Phalaenopsis Orchid. I know Dobby goes to a great deal of trouble to find them for her, and in here they are everywhere. Even the colors in this room are a little different. There are bits of blues, purples and cream mixed in with the normally antiseptic darkness that adorns the rest of The Manor. I wish the rest of the house was like this, it feels so different. It's not as lonely or doleful, I wish we shared this space. It reminds me of who she used to be when I was little, and I see a lot of myself in this room.

"Come sit down." Mother greets me with a warm smile. She confuses me so much lately. She keeps me at arms length, but when it's just the two of us I feel like she wants me to be with her. It's like she wants me to be a part of her life, but she is afraid of how my Father will react, so she pushes me away.

I take a seat in the cream colored arm chair opposite her, keenly aware that Miss. Vale is keeping me close. I really wish I could just have a moment with my Mother, but its obvious that's not one of my options.

"Thank you Miss. Vale, that will be all." Mother tells Miss. Vale dismissively and it's as if she has read my mind.

"It's my pleasure Mrs. Malfoy, however it is my duty to remain with my charge." She tells my mother. I can see a slight note of irritation in Mother's eyes, but she tries again. "I am sure my husband expects a certain amount of privacy between my daughter and myself."

"I will ask Mr. Malfoy about that the next time we speak." She tells my Mother with a look of arrogance and superiority. 

Miss. Vale has no intention of leaving us alone to chat, so Mother changes her tact and begins to speak as if Miss. Vale is not even present.

"I hope you're looking forward to meeting your Aunt Bella tomorrow Delia. I know it's a lot, but she will be so happy to see you!" Mother looks like a child with her excitement, and I don't know how to even put into words how completely freaked out I am about all of tomorrow. 

"Yes, Mother." is all I can manage, and I can see the disappointment on her face.

"I'm sorry Delia...." I hear her say, and I am not even sure what she means. She takes my hands in hers and draws me closer, looking me deep in the eyes. Then she looks at Miss. Vale, and I think I understand a little. "I didn't ever want this for you."

She looks like she's going to cry, and I can see that Miss. Vale does not approve of the direction things are already going. Her body language says a lot, but she remains silent. I don't have an endless well of forgiveness, and when Mother looks at me, I can see that's what she is hoping for, I have to look away because I just can't.

"Cordelia......darling, please look at me."

I bring my eyes to hers, but mostly because I don't want her to start crying.

"Delia, please."

"I don't know what to say Mother." I can't come up with more. I don't want to hurt her, even though she's really hurt me. I just can't put into words how I feel about all of this without flipping out, so that is all I can offer her,

"It's ok, I understand. I know the last few months have been difficult for you. I am sorry." 

"Difficult?! Mother! It has been far more than just difficult!" her choice of words ignites my anger. I can forgive a lot, but don't acknowledge how much I have been subjected to and act like you couldn't do anything about it. 

I can feel Miss. Vale poking at my mind, trying to find a way to shut down my emotional outburst without bringing any attention to it. I quickly focus my anger towards her mental intrusion and shut her out. "Do you know how many times Father came to school! How many times he came, just to show me how much he disproved of me! Do you know what he did!? Why didn't you ever come!?" I shout, my anger directed at my mother.

"I think it's time to return to your room Cordelia." Miss Vale interrupts rigidly, I know it's a warning, but I don't care.

"Please! Do not interrupt my conversation with my daughter Miss. Vale! You may be her Governess! But at the end of the day you answer not just to my husband, but to ME! I have asked you to respect my time with my daughter and if you insist on being here, then you will be quiet!" I have never seen this side of my mother. She is livid, I am both grateful for her standing up to this women and terrified that she just got me into a horrific amount of trouble. I am so shocked by Mothers reaction, that I can't even say anything. I see Miss. Vale bristle, but surprisingly she backs off. I feel an obligation to give my Mother a chance to say something after all of this.

Mother turns to me as if she has suddenly shaken off her frustration towards Miss. Vale as a duck would shake off water from its feathers. 

"I think we should discuss what you should expect tomorrow. You have never been to Azkaban before and I am sure you have some questions." 

"Mother, I'm afraid to go. There are all sorts of dangerous witches and wizards there and..... and there are the Dementors." I tell her and I can see she understands my fears. 

"The security at Azkaban is very tight, you will never be in any danger. You won't even see any of the other prisoners, we will only be permitted to see Bella. As far as the Dementors go, they are required to keep their distance and I have rarely seen them. You will feel their presence, but they cannot come anywhere near you." 

"What do you mean we will feel their presence?" I ask her, feeling terrified by the prospects. 

"It's nothing horrible Delia. You may just find yourself feeling a little gloomy is all, and thats where the chocolate comes in." she smiles. "You get to eat all the chocolate you want tomorrow. It helps with the gloomy feeling. I always have a very light breakfast because I know I will be nibbling on bits of chocolate all day." I can see how excited Mother is about tomorrow, I wish I shared her excitement, but it all still sounded rather worrisome to me. 

"We will have to eat early in the morning because we have to catch the ferry at seven. I will have the house elves bring your breakfast to your room in the morning so you can eat while you're getting ready. Dress warmly, the port and ferry are very chilly. Be sure to put on boots, your heavy wool coat and bring a scarf, hat and gloves. Oh, and you must be careful not to bring anything with you. Especially your wand, leave that at home. I will bring mine, but I will have to check it at the ferry terminal, it's forbidden to bring a wand or any magical objects into Azkaban. That will include the bracelet Miss. Vale." Mother glares at her again. I hadn't really given the bracelet much thought since Father had given it to me but Mothers reference to it now reminds me how upset she seemed about it when Father gave it to me. 

"Mother, why did Father give this to me?" I asked her, running my fingers over the bracelet warily. I can see her struggling with the words and it makes me even more concerned about the bracelet. 

"There is no other way to explain this, without being honest. It's a correction bracelet. Your Father and Miss. Vale both have the pins that go with it. You must never give them reason to use it Delia. Quite honestly I am furious that your Grandmother brought it here. They are cruel and not meant to be used on children. " 

"I knew Father would never just give me a gift like that. I knew there had to be something bad about it, especially the way you both were acting. Mother...why does Father hate me?" I asked her. 

"He doesn't hate you Delia, he loves you! You're his only daughter and he loves both you and Draco dearly." 

"That's not true, and you know it Mother." 

"You will not speak to your Mother this way Cordelia." Miss. Vale snapped. I flinched at her anger and my right hand reflexively touched the bandage on my left, where the words had been carved earlier. My Mother looks like she is ready to curse Miss. Vale. 

"I have already asked you to remain quiet if you insist on being here Miss. Vale! Cordelia, what happened to your hand?" she asked me, giving Miss. Vale an accusing look. I am afraid to tell her the truth because I know I am already going to be in trouble when we leave this room and I have no desire to make things worse for myself. I don't trust my Mother to do anything to help me once we leave this room. 

"It's nothing Mother, just a scratch is all." I tell her in a tone that pleads to leave this alone. Thankfully she seems to understand and lets it go. 

"We have to Floo to the terminal tomorrow and I think it's important that we arrive at six thirty. This will give us time to get through security and for me to check my wand before we board the ferry. Meet me in the drawing room at six twenty five and we will Floo from there." 

I have so many questions I want to ask Mother right now, and not just about going to Azkaban. But, I don't feel like I can with Miss. Vale here. I can tell by the way she is watching me. She is probably sipping her tea and contemplating how she is going to torture me once we leave this room. 

"Oh yes, Miss. Vale, you will have the day to yourself tomorrow. Only relatives are permitted at Azkaban on visiting days." I can see a how much pleasure Mother takes in delivering this news and I can see Miss. Vale is not pleased by this bit of information. 

"I will have to speak to Mr. Malfoy about that." She says to Mother. 

"You're more than welcome to, but he is well aware of the rules." 

The tension in the room is stifling, Mother and Miss. Vale look as thought they both have a lot more to say but neither of them speaks. After a few more minutes of unpleasant silence Mother finally announces she has some last minute shopping to do for Aunt Bella and excuses herself. While I am relieved to be free of the tension, I am dreading returning to my room with Miss. Vale. As soon as we step out of Mothers sitting room she grabs me by the arm and starts walking quickly. Her grip hurts and being much smaller then her I have to practically run to keep up. I can feel my anxiety building as I try to keep up. Her anger with Mother is most likely about to be directed right at me and she is very angry. 

As soon as the door shuts in the nursery I can see I am in serious trouble. She doesn't even say anything at first, she just stares angrily at me. I wish I had someplace to escape her, but I know there isn't one. I am trapped and at her mercy, and she knows it. After a few more seconds of intimidating me with her malice filled stare she crosses the room and goes over to her desk and sits down. 

"So Cordelia, you seemed to have not learned anything from this mornings lesson." she says with a chilling calm that feels like it could vanish at any second. "You need to learn that it is never your place to challenge me or your parents. You will always show respect!" She began to shout and I could see her calm facade was crumbling quickly. "Your Mother may seem to think she has a say in your care at the moment. Let me make something perfectly clear to you, I am employed by your Father. Your Father is the head of your family and he is the one I answer to. I do not answer to your Mother and there is nothing she can do to interfere with how I deal with you. So, how can I make my point with you?" Her voice calming. 

"I didn't mean to be disrespectful, I'm sorry Miss. Vale." I tell her meekly, knowing whatever she is going to do is going to be worse than the salt or the quill. I have a hard time keeping myself from crying already because of how scared I am of her. 

"Your Father gave me some advice regarding discipline Cordelia, do you know what he suggested?" I have a lot of ideas about what Father suggested, but I have no intention of telling her. 

"I don't know Miss. Vale." 

"You don't know? Really, I find that hard to believe. You don't know what your Father would do if he were the one dealing with you and not I? Well... I certainly do." she says with a smirk and opens the drawer of her desk, removing the thick, black leather strap Father normally kept in his office. I feel slightly sick just seeing it and I'm not sure how much longer I can keep myself from crying. 

She comes across the room to where I am standing with the strap looped in her hand. I know what's about to happen and I feel frozen in place. I wish my Mother was here. Grabbing me by the collar of my blouse she takes me over to sitting area and forces me over the armrest of the settee. I lose my will to keep back my tears when she pulls up the back of my skirt. I want to beg her not to, but I know it will do no good. 

"Maybe this will be the incentive you need to remember your place." she says and brings the strap down hard across my backside. It hurts terribly and I can't believe how hard she swings it. The cracking sound when it meets bare skin is horrible and after only two lashes I am already pleading with her to stop. Even Father doesn't usually whip us this hard. By the third I start trying to escape her. I drop myself to the ground and scramble on my hands and knees across the room to the door. I know its locked, but I still stand up and frantically try twisting and turning the nob. 

"Help me! Please Mother! Mother Please!" I scream wrestling with the doorknob tears streaming down my face. 

"She can't hear you, nobody can. The room is charmed to make it sound proof. You can scream all you want, nobody is coming." She says with a laugh, still standing in front of the settee. She looks genuinely amused at my tears and hysteria. "Now, get back over here, we're not finished." she demands pointing the looped strap and the armrest. 

"Please..no." I beg, still trying to open the door. 

"No matter what you do, this doesn't end until I say it does. Now, get over here and bend over or you will just be making it worse on yourself." I can't bring myself to obey her. Even though I know I can't really escape this room and nobody is coming to save me, I can't stop trying. 

"Mother! Mother!" I keep screaming as loud as I can, banging on the door. 

"You did this to yourself you know." is what I hear her say right before I am stuck by a pain worse than anything I have ever experienced in my life. Every nerve in my body feels like it is being assaulted and I can't even see through the pain. I think I hear myself screaming and I can feel myself fall to the ground, kicking and flailing in some hope of finding a way to shut this off. As quickly as it came, it was suddenly over. I lay on the cold stone floor out of breath, and crying, covered in my own tears, snot and drool. I can't stop shaking and I feel as though I may vomit. I don't know what she is going to do next. I think she must have just used the Cruciatus curse on me and I am terrified she is going to do it again. 

"Your Mother told you not to give me a reason to use the bracelet Cordelia, you should have listened to her." I try to pull the bracelet off my wrist but it doesn't give. I hate my Father, how could he allow this women to do this to me. 

"Now, are you going to obey me and come over here or do I need to use the bracelet again?" She looks as if she hopes I choose the latter so she can give the bracelet another go. I don't though, instead I pick myself up off the floor, even when I think my legs are going to give out from shaking, I keep myself moving back in the direction I was ordered. When I finally reach the settee I let out another sob and slowly and obediently bend over the armrest.


	40. Chapter 40

I wake up to the chiming of my clock, telling me it's five-thirty and I need to get ready. I hardly slept at all last night, everything that has happened in the past few days have left me stressed out and battered. My whole body hurts, my hand throbs, the backs of my legs and bum feel bruised and my knees are finally starting to scab over. I feel like I miss Ginny and Esme most in the morning. I am so used to them both being right there when I open my eyes and every morning is like a slap in the face without them. 

My body protests as I climb out of my bed, I wish I could just stay in bed today. Dobby appears in my room with they tray containing my breakfast. The smell is enticing and it brightens me a little bit. I can see Dobby is heartbroken over my situation, but we both know there is nothing that can be done. He sets the tray down on the small desk in my room and pours me a mug of hot chocolate. Tansy has sent up my favorites and it makes me feel a little loved, which is something I hadn't felt since coming home. I wince as I sit down at the desk to eat, I don't want to upset Dobby and I know he is watching.

"Thank you for all of this. You know how much I love scones and hot chocolate." I tell him affectionately.

"Miss is very welcome. Can Dobby help Miss with anything?" He looks so sad, it makes me feel worse.

"I am fine Dobby, I'm just a little nervous about going to Azkaban today with Mother." 

"Dobby thinks anyplace is better for Miss than here with Miss. Vale."

"You may be right." I tell him.

While I finish up my breakfast Dobby disappears into my closet, emerging a few minutes latter with my clothes, boots and cloak. He lays them all out on the bed neatly and asks me again if I need anything before apparating back to the kitchens. I quickly dress and spend time trying to perfect my hair. I want to look nice for Mother, even if we are going to Azkaban. I know it means a lot to her and she is looking forward to introducing me to my Aunt. I am just about finished when I remember the bracelet, I don't know how to take it off. I try pulling on it again and it doesn't budge, I even tried using my wand, but none of the spells I know have any affect. I will have to ask Miss. Vale.

When I am all ready I grab my cloak and things and put my wand on my desk. I feel so nervous, I am afraid to ask Miss. Vale to remove the bracelet and I am a wreck about going to Azkaban. 

She is reading in the sitting area when I come out of my room and I worry I'm not going to have the courage to ask her to remove the bracelet. I walk over to where she's seated and wait for her to look up before finally finding the courage to ask.

"Good morning Miss. Vale, I am ready to go and meet my Mother. Could you please help me with the bracelet, Mother said..."I am so intimidated that I tumble over my words. She just stared at me first, relishing her control and my anxiety. She knows I am afraid of her and it's exactly what she wants.

"I hope you remember yourself Cordelia. I would hate to find out you misbehaved and have to repeat yesterdays lesson." she smiles, grabbing my wrist and twisting it cruelly causing me to yelp out in pain. The tears in my eyes give her a little satisfaction and she pulls out her wand and touches the place between the two emerald eyes. Slowly the bracelet turns back to the small snake and hisses at me, before slithering into Mss. Vales hand. The skin under the bracelet is angry and red, I am guessing it was from yesterday when she used it on me for the first time. I hope that never happens again, but I know it will, she enjoyed it too much.

"I had better go, it's nearly time to meet Mother in the drawing room. I don't want to keep her waiting." I am expecting some sort of assault, I know she is still angry about yesterday, but its doesn't come.

"Well, we wouldn't want to keep Mrs. Malfoy waiting." she says with a note of disdain in her voice before getting up and leading me out of the room.

I am relieved when I see my Mother sitting in the drawing room drinking a cup of tea, I don't want to be alone with Miss. Vale anymore than I need to be. Mother looks beautiful in her long black form fitting cloak and black cashmere balaclava. She has a big smile on her face in anticipation of seeing her sister and she is quick to take my hand when I enter the room.

"Are you already darling? Did you eat?"

"Yes Mother." I tell her, ready to leave here.

"Alright then, I will go before you so that I am on the other side when you arrive." She says smiling before going over to the fireplace, opening the jar of floo powder, taking a handful and powder and entering the fireplace saying "Port of Azkaban" before disappearing in the green flames.

"I'll be here when you get back Cordelia, so don't try and start something foolish, do you understand?" Miss. Vale warns me as I follow Mother, I don't even reply I just drop my floo powder and remind myself that anywhere is better than here, even Azkaban.

The port is full of wizards and witches all dressed in their finest to visit their criminal family members. Mother, true to her word was waiting for me as soon as I stepped out of the fireplace and thank goodness because I could see myself easily getting lost in the sea of people. It was so crowded, wet, cold and dark. The sun had only just started to come up and the sky didn't really light up the port yet. Mother takes my hand and guides me to the port office where we are issued our tickets and go through security. She has to hand in her wand and then we have to allow the witch at the entrance to wave her wand over us to scan for any forbidden items before we are allowed on the dock. It is so busy and hectic that I am relieved when we finally board the ferry and go to find our cabin.

"It's about a two hours journey to Azkaban. We are in the First Class cabins, so you can go anyplace on the ferry you want, you must just stay inside. Remember though, some of the families onboard could be dangerous, so don't wander off." The cabin is fairly rough to be considered First Class in my opinion but I say nothing and take a seat next to the window where I can watch everyone still waiting to board, while Mother is busy faffing with her packages.

"Take these." She tells me, handing me a small pink paper bag from Honeydukes, filled with various chocolates. "Remember to eat them if you start to feel unhappy, it's not real so just be sure to eat the chocolate and it will go away" I take the bag and put it in my cloak pocket and continue watching the people below the window.

A few minutes before seven the Captain blows the last call boarding whistle and everyone down below on the dock begins to scurry around for the last minute boarding and to prepare for departure. My Mother looks like a child on Christmas Day and I don't share her giddy joy. I am nervous about going to Azkaban and I am carrying the strain of life with Miss. Vale, there is no joy in my life right now and it makes it hard for me to connect with her when she's like this.

"It's a bit rough at first, but don't be frightened. It will come right once we reach deep water." I am surprised that she sits next to me instead of taking the seat across from me. We are not an affectionate family and this sudden lack of physical boundaries is confusing. When she takes my hand I am even more confused. I have always wanted a warmer relationship with my Mother, but she has abandon me on so many occasions that I treat her affection with mistrust.

There is a sudden vibration as the ferry starts to pull away from the dock. As soon as we leave the harbour the ferry begins to pitch and roll. The North Sea is restless in winter and the swells pick the boat up and drop it between the troughs. Sounds of the old metal ship groaning as it rolls amplifies my anxiety and I can hear things falling in the cabin behind us. 

"It's ok darling, in a few more minutes we will be in deep water and it will be calm." Mother said, pulling me closer to her. I was too frightened at this point to do anything but welcome her comfort. The waves send heavy spray up against the windows and even though the sun has come up, the sky looks grey. My stomach is rolling all around with the boat and I can feel myself quickly becoming queasy from lurching back and forth, I wonder if I am going to slide right out of my seat. Then there is the ringing of a loud bell, and I look to my Mother questioningly wondering what its for. She just looked at me and smile. "You see, it will be all better in a few seconds." I can't imagine how because its only getting rougher. I feel boat shudder heavily and I am struck with terror as I feel the boat begin to sink. 

"Mother!" I gasped and cling to her, terrified we are going to drowned in these unforgiving seas. I can hear a few shouts coming from other parts of the ferry and I think we are all on our way to a water grave below. Quicker than I expected I can see the water reaching our window and I recoil from it, holding my mother even tighter, burying my face in her chest. 

"It's Okay Cordelia! We're okay, honestly. The ferry travels under the sea. We only stay on the surface in the shallows. The whole rest of the trip will be calm and you can sometimes see the most interesting things down here." Mother says soothingly rubbing my back. "Look, see there, not a drop of water can come inside. You mustn't worry, I should have warned you about this. I have been going on this trip for ten years with your Father, forgive me for forgetting to warn you about this. I imagine it is very frightening if you're not expecting it." 

I finally find the courage to let go of her a little and survey my surroundings, still feeling a little wary. I had read about ships traveling under water but I had never actually been on one, and I certainly had not been expecting to today. I don't really want to let go of Mother, she hasn't let me this close to her in years and I don't even remember the last time she comforted me like this. Reluctantly I sit up and look at her thinking she is probably anxious for me to let go. She's not though, I hadn't realized I was crying until she reached up and wiped the tears of my cheeks with a handkerchief. In her face I can only see affection and I didn't know what to do. I had desperately wanted my Mother's love for the last few years and yet she had behaved so indifferent. What could have changed that suddenly? I still couldn't help to be wary, so I reluctantly pull away from her a little and pretend to be interested in the window again, all the while my mind is struggling to understand my Mother. 

"Are you ok Delia?" 

"Yes Mother." I answer her without looking away from the window. I am too confused to look at her without getting emotional. Thankfully there is a rapping on the compartment door and Mother gets up to answer it. 

"Would you care for anything off the trolly ma'am?" a young witch in a grey uniform asks Mother from outside the door. 

"We will take a pot of tea please, and perhaps some shortbread biscuits. Cordelia, would you care for anything?" 

"Tea is plenty Mother, thank you." 

I feel awkward with her while we are sipping our tea, I don't know how to talk to her and after a few minutes I ask her permission to walk around the boat a little. 

"I suppose it will be alright, but do be careful about who you talk to and where you go Cordelia. Do not leave the First Class deck, there are all sorts of undesirables onboard this boat. 

"Yes Mother." I answer and quickly head for the door. I can see a bit of disappointment in her face, but I need a little space from her and the emotions that seem to come to the surface when I am in her presence lately. I feel a little guilty, but it doesn't slow my departure from the cabin. I am relieved when I shut the door that she didn't insist on coming with me, but I have no idea where I am going. 

I follow the hallway we took when we first boarded the boat until I pass by a lounge where I see a few witches and wizards have gathered to pass the time. Some are talking, and others like myself just seem to be trying to escape their claustrophobic cabins. It's only seven thirty in the morning but quite a few of them seem to be sipping glasses of fire whiskey already. It looks like a pretty good place to people watch and avoid my Mother for a few minutes, so I take a seat in a corner out of the way and try to relax a little. There is a witch a few seats away from me looking very anxious and talking to another witch a few years older than herself. They both keep scanning the room and keeping their conversation hushed suspiciously. Looking around the room I realize a lot of the people in the room seem to share their mistrust in each other, or perhaps its just anxiety and embarrassment. What ever it is, it's obvious not everyone shares Mothers jubilation about traveling to Azkaban. It must be hard to deal with having a spouse or parent in Azkaban. Not only would you miss them terribly, many of them, like my Aunt were imprisoned for horrible crimes. I wonder how many of these people are actually Death Eaters like my Father and Aunt Bella. 

It made me wonder what my own life would have been like if my Father had been sent to Azkaban after the War. He was after all a Death Eater, and while I am not privy to my Father's personal life, it wouldn't surprise me in the least bit if he still was. A life without Lucius Malfoy would certainly be a blessing compared to the life I have now. I wouldn't feel so despised and terrified in my own home. I would be allowed to lead a much more normal existence than the one I have now, and I can't imagine my Mother ever whipping my brother or I no matter how badly we behaved. She didn't share my Father's lust for cruelty. It made her sad knowing Father treated so harshly, she just lacked the strength to stand up to him to save us. 

Yes, the Malfoy family would be much better off with him in Azkaban, but at this point the likelihood of that happening was slim to nil. He worked for the Ministry of Magic now and he is a Governor at Hogwarts. He has too many friends in high places and the Malfoy family name commands too much power for him to ever be sent away. Not unless he suddenly did something horrible, or worse, if there was another war. I wouldn't be upset like any of these people if he were, and I wouldn't be on this ferry to visit him either. It was just a fantasy though, no point in wishing for the impossible. 

I didn't really see anyone I recognized here, but I was never really introduced to my parents associations. I had met a few of their closer friends when they were invited for tea or dinner, but nothing beyond that. For all I know many of these people are friends of my Mother and Father's. There are hardly any children around and those I see are all older than myself and none of them familiar. I kind of wished I had someone to talk to, but another hour and a half with my Mother seemed like a little too much. Thankfully there is a discarded copy of the Daily Prophet on the sitting table next to me and I picked it up to occupy my thoughts. 

The headline read "Raids Increase as End of Year Draws Near". I suspect my Father finds this news disquieting, and it makes me wonder if that had anything to do with his absence today. Draco has told me that Father has all sorts of Dark objects hidden around the Manor. I've seen the books in the library, and I have never been allowed near the cellar. My Father is one of those who believe the Dark Lord will one day return and I think if he does Father will want to be sure to have plenty to offer in order to show his continued allegiance. I wonder how many other families on this boat are doing the same, biding their time till they can continue his work as his loyal Death Eaters. It makes a cold feeling run down my spine. My Father is a vicious man now, I can't imagine what he would be like if the Dark Lord were still in power. 

I am so lost in the article that I don't notice I have company until he interrupts my reading. When I look up there is a familiar boy with jet black hair and crystal blue eyes standing in front of me. I recognize him from school, he is a third year Ravenclaw, but I don't know his name. 

"Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here? There are not many more places to sit, and I don't think I can handle my Grandparents much longer. My Grandfather is already on his second Fire Whiskey. If I have to hear one more time about how much injustice there is at the Ministry right now I think I will have to give them a reason to keep me at Azkaban, just to avoid the ferry trip back." He asks with a sheepish smile. 

"You're welcome to sit if you want." 

"Thanks, you're Draco Malfoy's little sister aren't you? I'm Elias Rookwood, you can just call me Eli.' 

"I.. uh.. I'm Cordelia, Cordelia Malfoy." 

"I've seen you at school. You're friends with Fred and George's little sister Ginny aren't you? " hearing him mention Ginny's name reminds me I won't be seeing her at the end of Christmas break, but I try to hide my feelings. 

"Yes, Ginny's my best friend." 

"The Weasley's are great fun, the whole lot of them. Well, Percy is a bit of a git, but they are a great family. You're in Gryffindor aren't you? " 

”Yes.” 

”How did your family handle it?” He asked. 

”Excuse me?” 

” Your family, how did they handle you not being a Slytherin? Mine threatened to send me off to Durmstrang, I think if my Father didn’t hate Igor Karkaroff the Headmaster, they might have actually done it too. First family member in two centuries to be sorted outside of Slytherin!" he says proudly smiling, I’m struggling to decide if he’s serious or having a go at me, but his surname is familiar so I play along. 

“They were disappointed to say the least.” 

”I was glad my Father was in here that year, I think he would have skinned me alive. Took them about two years to finally get over the shock. They still don’t like it, but there’s no changing it. Personally, I’m glad I’m in Ravenclaw, best house there is!” He says with a wry smile. 

I can’t help but smile back at him, he seems so genuine and he’s the first person who seems to want to have a nearly normal conversation with me since I left Hogwarts. 

”Gryffindor is a pretty great house too!” I say with mock competitiveness. 

”Who are you going to visit? Like I said, my Father is in there.” 

”I am visiting my Aunt, Bellatrix Lastrange. I’ve never met her before, she’s been here since I was a baby.” I knew she had a notorious reputation, but I figured nobody in Azkaban was here for their charitable works. 

”She was good friends with my Father, they were..... you know, they were Death Eaters together.” His impish smile had faded away for a second and he looks so regretful, it makes me feel sorry for him. Before I had a chance to even think about it, I blurted out. 

”So was my Father.” I instantly wished I hadn’t said it. I knew how angry my Father would be if he knew I had said something like that to someone I barely knew. I can feel the heat on my face as I blush with shame. 

”Don’t be embarrassed, you do realize that every one on the first floor deck is probably family of former Death Eaters, heck I bet half of them were Death Eaters themselves. This is the last place your gonna find witches and wizard that are going to look down on you because your parents were Death Eaters.” 

”My Father...” 

”I’m sorry?” He looks a little confused. 

”My Father was a Death Eater, my Aunt too I guess, but not my Mother. She never took....she never took the you know, the mark. She wasn’t one of them.” 

”I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insinuate...” 

”No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to seem annoyed. My Mother is just so different from my Father.” 

”I understand, my Mother has softened a lot since my Father was sent away. I wish I could say the same thing about my Grandfather. He is an angry Pureblood purist who is besides himself that the future of the Rookwood Family is left up to me. If he could find a way to have my Father sire another heir I’m sure he would.” It made me think about my own Fathers loathing for me and grateful that he had Draco to keep him somewhat appeased that the family name could continue unsullied, regardless of my failures. Had I been the only Malfoy child I think Father would have seen to it that I met with a tragic accident or illness rather than have me carry on the Malfoy name. 

"Do you play Quidditch? Your brother is the Slytherin house seeker, what position do you think you'll go out for." His enthusiasm for quidditch is charming and I am thankful for the change of subject. 

"I don't play, but Draco loves it. I like to watch though." 

"If you like to watch, why not play? You'd probably make a good seeker too, your....petite." he said, rubbing his hand over his hair a little nervously. I think he was afraid he might have offended me with his mention of my size, but he hadn't. On the contrary, I found him to be incredibly friendly and it was such a welcome exchange. 

"My Father doesn't approve of girls playing sports." 

"I understand, I'm sorry. I know a lot of the old families are pretty set in their ways. If I ever have children, I am going to let them be whoever they are and love them for just being themselves." I don't think anyone has ever said anything I could relate to more than this. This boy seems to understand my life more than anyone else I have ever met. 

"Me too, if I ever do get married." 

"Why wouldn't you want to ever get married? At least then you can have your own family instead of just the one you were born into. The idea of that gives me something to look forward to." I could feel a tightening in my chest, what a wonderful thought. It's not likely Father will ever let that happen to me though. I won't be allowed to marry for love. If, and that's a big if. If Father were ever to find a suitable husband for me, it would be to further the families power and strengthen their name. Love was not a motive behind anything in my future as far as he was concerned. 

"My Father seems to think I ruined any chances at a decent match when I got sorted into Gryffindor." 

"Is that what you had hoped for, a decent match?" 

"I don't think I ever really thought about it till now. I have always been taught that my parents would find me an appropriate husband when the time came. It's what their parents did, and their parents too." 

"Yes, I get it. More of those antiquated Pureblood ideas. My parents were the same. You think I didn't get the lecture of how I had destroyed the family name by being a Ravenclaw? It's like they completely forgot my Father is serving a life sentence in Azkaban for betraying the Ministry of Magic and murder. Somehow my offense was more detrimental than even that. I am not growing up to be my parents thats for sure." 

"You have a lot more chance of doing what you hope for than I do. I'm a girl, I have no control over anything where my Father is concerned." 

"It may seem like that now, but there will be a day, somewhere in the future where your parents no longer control your life. Try to look forward to that day when you feel like you have nothing to look forward to, it will come." How can this boy I barely even know have so much insight about my own life. I realize its because his own is so similar and it brings me a little comfort to know I am not the only one who's going through this. 

"Cordelia!" shouted my Mother and I nearly jumped out of my seat. She looked very flustered and I realized that I had been sitting here with Eli for nearly an hour. 

"I'm sorry, I have to go." I told him, disappointed that our time together was up. I hadn't enjoyed someone else's company this much in a long time, and I was sorry to have to end it. 

"Okay, maybe I'll see you on the trip back." 

"Maybe." I told him and hastily got up to follow my Mother back to our cabin. 

"Where have you been! I have been so worried, you've been gone for an hour. I was afraid you had possibly wandered down to the third class deck and something horrible had happened to you." I was concerned she was angry with me at first, but I can quickly see she was just genuinely worried. 

"I'm so sorry Mother, I was just talking and lost track of time. I did mean to make you worry." 

"Who was that boy you were sitting with?" she asked, and I can feel all the blood drain from my face. Father would be livid if he found out I was associating with someone he didn't approve of, especially a boy. I have no idea how my Father felt about the Rookwoods, but if it was not positive, there would be consequences. 

"Just a boy from school, I've never really met him until now. His Name is Elias Rookwood." Mothers expression changed, but I couldn't read it. 

"Come back in the cabin with me, I have a little more to discuss with you before we arrive. I'm not angry darling, I was just so worried. I won't say anything to your Father." It must have been written all over my face because I was incredibly relieved when she mentioned not telling Father. He would be furious. 

I follow Mother back into the cabin and shut the door behind me, curious as to what else Mother had yet to mention about our trip. 

"Sit down Delia." She says, patting the seat next to her. Obediently I sit down and wait to hear what else she has to say. She looks like she's struggling to put it into words and it makes me a little nervous. 

"As you know, your Aunt Bella is my older sister. When we were children she was almost like a mother to me. Our own Mother..... she was not the motherly type. She had children out of obligation, she had no interest in us unless it was to show off our talents or beauty. She was very harsh with us, harsher even then your Father. When we were old enough, we were handed off to a governess who was even less merciful than our Mother. Miss. Hawthorne was her name and she never found anything but fault in everything we did. Bella was always the rebellious one.......... Miss. Hawthorne.... Delia, she was brutal. On top of it all, Bella tried to protect me from her, she took a lot of punishments that were rightfully mine because she couldn't bear to think of my being hurt, it was terrible. Over the years it took a toll on her, she became more rebellious and she suffered greatly because of it. When she met the Dark Lord, she was wild, angry and desperate to be free of our family. Our Father had wanted to marry her of to the Lastrages but Bella didn't want to leave me behind. It tore at her when they were married and she had to leave me. She would sneak back to see me, and I could see she was coming unhinged. The Dark Lord used her anger and hurt to create a vicious servant. Her pain made her magic stronger and her thirst for bloodshed created by our Mother and Governess made her lethal. I'm telling you all of this Delia because I want you to understand that even though your Aunt has done some truly horrible things she was, at her core a good person once, before the people in her life turned her into this. She will always be the sister who loves and protects me in my eyes, no matter what she has done Delia, please try and give her a chance." My mother has never shared anything as personal as this and she looks so vulnerable with her pleading. It makes me understand her a little more, even though it makes it even harder to accept that she would allow Father to force me to live like this. I guess my Mother has been a terrible victim of circumstance sometimes too. I just wished she would feel more inclined to protect me from this after her own experience. I don't know what to say to her, but thankfully I don't have to think too much about it. The Captain announces we are about to emerge inside the breakwater of Azkaban. 


	41. Chapter 41

Before we even begin to surface you can feel the change. It feels like when you're reading a story and you know something tragic is about to happen, but you're helpless to stop it and have no other choice but to watch it play out. It creeps up slowly, but it's as if the hopelessness in my life is swallowing me up.

"Here, take a bit of chocolate, it will help." Mother encourages. It does help, but I am astonished at how intense the feeling is when we haven't even set foot on Azkaban yet. I can't imagine what it's like for the prisoners to live out their lives with this as their constant. The old ferry groans and shutters as we reach the surface and from the window I can see we are on the inside a large stone wall that surrounds this side of the prison. It creates a barrier against the violent sea on the other side. 

Another bell rings and this time the Captain announces it is now safe to disembark. Mother starts collecting her things and I feel nothing but dread about going ashore. I want to keep it together, but just looking outside the window is enough to shake my fortitude. The dark stone walls of the prison and break wall are anything but welcoming and the wind whips through the tiny little harbour. The sky is a dark grey and looks about as grim as I feel. 

"Come Cordelia, it's time to go ashore. We can't waste time here on the boat." Mother scolds. She looks annoyed at my hesitation, but I know it's just because she is just anxious to see her sister an I am slowing her down.

With a lump in my throat, I follow Mother off the ferry and through the entrance of the prison. The morose feeling inside of me growing by the second, I slip another chocolate in my mouth and survey my surroundings. We are all escorted inside and down a long dark hall, the only light comes from the blue flamed torches hung on the walls, cold fire, I suspect. The walk is chilly and damp, I hope wherever we are going is warmer than this. It smells of dead things from the sea and wet boots. I grab Mother's hand when I begin to feel that horrible feeling again. It's cold and dismal here and I have to remind myself to push down the feeling of hopelessness that keeps creeping around the edge of my mind.

It seems like an eternity before we reach the end of the long hall. We are rewarded with an antiseptic looking waiting room made up of grey stone walls, metal chairs that look bolted in place and a sour faced old matron sitting at a battered old desk. Behind her are several sets of doors for what I can only assume are the visiting rooms. Hardly anyone says a word, as all take our seats. 

"They will call us when it's time. Are you doing ok?" Mother asks me looking me over and smoothing back my hair where it has gone all wild from the damp. 

"Yes Mother."

I hear the old matron call out the first name. "Snyde!" in a gruff voice. An old man and his wife follow her to one of the large wooden doors. She takes an enormous key ring filled with brass keys and uses one of them to unlock the door, before ushering the couple inside and locking it behind them. I had hoped to get a peak inside when she opened the door, but from where I was seated I couldn't see a thing.

"Archibald!" came the matrons voice again and another family got up to follow her to different door. This time I tried to lean a little more to see when she opened the door, but Mother grabbed my cloak and yanked me back upright. I flushed with embarrassment and the man next to me scowled disapprovingly. 

"Don't stare at these people Cordelia!" she hissed in my ear. I could feel the heat from my face and my vision blurred as tears welled up in my eyes, but I refused to blink so they wouldn't fall down my face. I was embarrassed, but I was also ashamed that I had upset my mother after she had been so much more affectionate today. She hadn't shown me any warmth in ages, and I had ruined it.

"I'm sorry Mother." I said horsely, trying not to cry. I can see her turn to look at me out of the corner of my eye, but I keep staring straight ahead, holding back my tears.

"It's okay darling, I'm sorry. I'm just so anxious, I didn't me to snap at you." she said in a teary voice and pulled me into a hug. Feeling her arms around me, smelling her perfume and feeling her love was more than I could take and silently the tears flowed heavily from my eyes. I heard the matron continue to call names but I kept on crying in my mothers arms. After a few minutes I was able to sit up and Mother tried to dry my face and straighten my hair. I knew looked pitiful by the sympathetic look on her face. She tried to smile, but I could see she was filled with guilt looking at me. 

We were both trying to prepare ourselves for our name to be called when there was a tap on Mother's shoulder. We turned to look and were greeted by the kindly eyes of a petite elderly witch holding out two gold wrapped chocolates compassionately. She has seen our exchange and knew we needed reminding not to let the sadness get to us. I smiled at her appreciatively as Mother took the chocolates and thanked her. 

I was just unwrapping my chocolate when the matron called out "Lestrange!".

"Come, that's us!" Mother said, taking me by the hand and half dragging me with her towards the door. I could feel myself full of resistance, but I still allowed my mother to propel me towards the door. Every ounce of my being was filled with apprehension, but I couldn't make myself resist.

The old matron turned the key in the lock and when the door swung open I had to squint a little to allow my eyes to adjust to the light. The room was flooded with light and in the center stood a large metal table. I can't quite figure out what i am seeing as my Mother pushes me forward into the room so the matron can shut the door behind us. Panic hits me as soon as I hear the lock turn and I turn around and try to open the door. I don't want to be locked in here, I'm not even sure that thing at the table is even my Aunt. All I can see in a mass of black curls spilling all over the table. Whoever is sitting in front of me has their head resting on the table and all I can see it their hair, like tendrils of creeping vines weaving over the edges of the table. I can make out a thin pale arm and I realized this person is shacked to a ring at one end of the table connected to an oppressively heavy chain.

"Bella..." Mother says in a soothing voice. "Bella, it's me Bella, it's Cissy.... Please Bella, look at me. I've brought your favorites, a whole box of Vaderheltz chocolates just for you." I watch my mother push back this women's hair and put the posh box of chocolates on the table in front of her. She is caressing her sisters face and trying to hold back her tears, it pains her to see her like this. My own heart hurts a little watching, it makes me understand how much Mother loves her sister and how horrible it is for her to live with the knowledge she is captive like this.

"Cissy?" Aunt Bella whispers.

"Yes Bella, it's me! I've come to visit you! It's nearly Christmas, look at me. Have some of the chocolates, it will help you focus love." Mother tells her trying to gently slip on of the sweets between her lips. "Come Bella, have one please."

I want to help my mother, but can't bring myself to move. I just stare at her and my aunt as she tries to bring her around. I was expecting a murderous lunatic, but this woman in front of me could barely string two words together. 

"Cissy..." my Aunt says, making an effort to try and keep her head upright. Her eyes are empty and glazed over, I doubt she's even aware of my presence, while Mother continues to try and coax chocolates into her mouth. 

"That's it Bella, I'm here..." 

It took probably a good ten minutes before Aunt Bella could be considered coherent. Once she started eating the sweets on her own she quickly became much more lucid and Mother seemed to relax a little. I watched the two of them settle into a conversation from the door because I was still too shaken. My aunt had a very strange manner, she seemed to drift in and out of the conversation at times, getting lost in her own thoughts. Mother was so focused on keeping her sister engaged that for a long time she seemed to have forgotten I was even there and I didn't mind. While not appearing as dangerous as I was expecting, my aunt had a what appeared to be a rather unpredictable nature. She wavered between childish giddy and irritation so quickly, I struggled to even follow the conversation. 

It wasn't till she realized my Father wasn't here that she became aware I was even in the room. She suddenly looked around, scanning the room for Father. When her gaze finally fell on me she looked confused and turned to Mother. 

"Where is Lucius? Why has he not come, Cissy has something happened to him?!" a manic energy seemed to take hold of her as she looked around the room again and I could hear in the tone of her voice it was ready to escalate. I kept thinking back to all the stories I had heard about how mad she was and seeing her becoming distressed made me back closer to the door. 

"Lucius is fine Bella, and he was terribly upset to miss our visit, but he was called away by the Ministry suddenly." 

"Is that..... Cissy is that Cordelia? Shes the spitting image of Lucius." 

"Delia, come meet your Aunt properly." Mother smiles, motioning me to join them at the table. I feel a lump in my throat again, but I walk slowly towards them intending to keep Mother between myself and Aunt Bella. The closer I get to the table the more alarming she appears. Her eyes are the darkest black and unfocused, her nails are long and jagged and her hair is wild. Her skin is ashen white and she has heavy dark circles around her eyes. She smells like antiseptic cleaner and I assume that they must have bathed her right before our visit. She looks like like she belonged in St. Mungo's mental health ward more than she belonged here. 

I was reminded of what Mother said on the ferry about how she had been damaged by the people in her life, and that she was once my Mother's protector. That she was once a loving and kind person and Mother still saw her as such. I wanted to have the courage to be more affable and share in their moment. But, I was rendered comply silent by my Aunt's presence. 

Mother pushed me out from behind her until I was standing directly in front of my Aunt. I was thankful she was not able to get up from her seat due to the shackles, but I flinched when she brought her hand up to my face. Her hands were shackled to a chain that was bolted to a loop in the table, but she could still reach me. She was so cold that she reminded me of marble with her pale skin. I tried not to look as horrified as I felt as she pulled me closer. 

"Yes, so much like her Father.....but she's... Cissy, why's she so small?" Aunt Bella asked, now really looking at me. 

"She's just a little on the petite side that's all." 

"Petite? Cissy, she's.....tiny. Are you well child?" she asks me with a frown. I can feel my irritation with her insinuating my size made me some how inconsequential. 

"I'm just fine thank you!" I snap a little jerking myself out of her grip and taking a step back to ensure I am out of her reach. She looks astonished at my tone and I am afraid of what she will do if I remain within her grasp. I am bracing myself for my Mother's reprimand when my aunt throws back her head and starts to laugh. 

"You may look like Lucius, but I venture there may just be a little bit of me in there too." She continues laughing and now even Mother is smiling, maybe Mother's gone mad too in this place. I reach in my pocket and shove another chocolate in my mouth. 

"It's okay Delia, no one is angry. Come sit with me, I want Bella to get to know you." 

The two of them look completely amused by my apprehension and it makes me even more defensive. I can't sift through my feelings and sort out what is real and what is from being in such close proximity of the dementors and its frustrating. 

"You're not afraid of me now, are you?" Aunt Bella said teasingly, a coy smile on her face. 

"No." I answered in a voice that didn't sound as convincing as I had hoped it would. 

"Delia, please do come sit down, we don't have a lot of time and I don't want to waste it coaxing you away from the door." Mother pleaded. Warily I moved back towards them keeping myself just out of Aunt Bella's reach. 

I sat listening to them talk about people I didn't really know and events that were long before my time. I was just grateful to be ignored while they spoke. Sometimes Aunt Bella would begin to say things and Mother would have to stop her, reminding her I was there. Curiosity kept me paying close attention to their words, but they never said anything I could understand. My Aunt kept whispering and looking around like she was afraid someone was listening, but she wasn't even saying anything that made any sense. 

"How do you like Hogwarts?" Aunt Bella asked, and I was shaken to suddenly be noticed again. I looked nervously at my mother before answering. 

"It's.....it's okay."I tell her, but the way she's watching me I can tell she is suspicious of my answer. To avoid looking at her I play with the hem of my skirt. I was afraid she could read my mind if I was not careful. I knew she was once very good at Legilimency and I didn't want to find out right now if she still was. If she found out I was in Gryffindor I doubted very much she would be interested in me anymore. My Aunt was known for her extreme pure blood ideals, even more so than my father. It was what got her in this place, and I was worried that if she found out her own blood was in Gryffindor, she might turn into the lethal lunatic I was expecting. 

"When I was a first year, I was happy to finally be away from home. I missed your Mother horribly though, when she started I was thrilled. It was so good to have my baby sister close again. I'm sure Draco looks after you at school, doesn't he?" 

"Yes ma'am." I answered still feeling vulnerable by her questioning. 

"I'm sure you're very popular with the other children too. You come from the best families and you're lovely. You're probably the Slytherin house princess, I'm bet all the girls want to be you." 

I couldn't even look at her anymore, I just stared at the floor waiting for her to find out. 

"Cissy, what is this all about? Why is the child acting so... odd?" 

"Well Bella....... Cordelia didn't exactly get sorted into Slytherin." Mother told her uneasily. 

"What do you mean she didn't get sorted into Slytherin? Where else would they put her? She's a pure blood! She's a Malfoy and a Black! Where did they sort you?" she scowled at me leaving me very wary of my next words. 

"Gryffindor." I answered her quietly feeling myself bracing for her reaction. 

"Gryffindor! Like that traitorous cousin of ours, he's here too you know. You're not a little blood traitor like him, are you?" she asked accusingly. 

"No Aunt Bella." I said in a whisper, feeling both ashamed and afraid. 

"Dare I ask how Lucius reacted to this news?" 

"Quite badly I'm afraid." Mother replied. 

"I suspect so, how humiliating. Did he go to the school and tell them this was unacceptable?" she demanded. 

"He did, but that ridiculous old fool Dumbledore refused to change it, Lucius was furious." 

"You should be glad Druella and Walburga are dead child, or you'd of been scorched off the family tree for that." Aunt Bella said looking disgusted. 

"Grandmother Ophelia hasn't been shy about how she feels about it." I told her. 

"Merlins beard, that old cow is still alive! Miserable woman, you would be wise to stay clear of that one." she told me, rolling her eyes. 

"Cissy, why didn't you bring Draco too?" 

"Draco is still at school." I answered catching a warning eye from my mother. 

"Draco wanted to stay at school this Christmas. Some of his friends were staying and he wanted to join them." I couldn't believe my Mother was lying to her like this and it made me turn away from her. My aunt was no fool however, she seemed to realize there was much more to the story. 

"I'm surprised Lucius would allow that." she said to my mother in a tone that was calling her out on her deception. 

"Yes, well...the boy is growing up." 

"And you Delia, did you want to stay at school with your friends too?" before Mother could deflect her question I answered it. 

"Yes." Mother shot me a look that told me I was treading in dangerous waters now. Aunt Bella just looked at us appraisingly. 

"Yes, but Ophelia was joining us for holidays and Lucius felt it would be inappropriate for both of the children to be away for her visit." 

There was just silence between us for a few minutes. Aunt Bella knew there was deception in my mother'e words and was trying to figure out why. Mother looked as if she might become ill under her scrutinizing stare and I was doing my best to keep my mouth shut before anything else slipped out that might send my aunt into a furry. I ate my chocolates, awkwardly avoiding my aunts gaze. 

"Come here child." Aunt Bella suddenly ordered. I looked at my mother, who's expression looked about as wary as my own, but she nodded for me to obey my aunt. 

The tone in her voice filled me with dread. What was she going to do? Was she going to punish me for being in Gryffindor too? Was she going to use Ligilimency to search my mind for the answers to Mother's deception? Maybe she had just planned to beat the answers out of me. Whatever she was thinking, her face never betrayed her. She was calm, but it was unnatural calm that threatened to give way under the slightest provocation. When I was finally within her reach she took my hand and pulled me closer to her till she had me seated on her lap. It felt awkward to be treated like a baby, but it was even more distressing to realize that this was not an act of affection, it was an act of control and intimidation. I looked to my mother, silently pleading with her to help me, but it was clear she was powerless where her sister was concerned. Aunt Bella turned my face away from my mother and stared deeply into my eyes. 

"Are you going to explain to me what it is you and your mother are trying so desperately to conceal, or do I have to find more imaginative ways to get it out of you?" Aunt Bella said in a slow warning tone. She took my hand again and pushed up my sleeve, exposing the angry red welt around my wrist, holding it out for Mother to see but never taking her eyes from mine. "Did you think I wouldn't recognize this Narcissa?". 

"I...I...I didn't do that to her." Mother stammered. 

"Then you let Lucius do it? Is that why the coward isn't here?" she said, ripping the bandage off my hand. The words had faded some, but they were still there. "And this! I suppose you didn't have anything to do with this either!" I could feel myself shaking, my Aunt is terrifyingly livid at the moment and her grip on my wrist hurts. 

"I didn't know...oh Delia, I didn't know..." Mother said, tears filling her eyes. 

"Please Cissy, if you didn't know its because you chose not to." Aunt Bella turned on Mother with ice in her voice. "You tell my dear brother in-law that one day in the very near future he will find himself in a very sticky predicament for this." 

"Lucius would never....." it was too late though, she had already let slip more of the secret she was trying so desperately to keep. I hadn't really understood until now exactly what it was. I only knew Mother didn't want her knowing what was going on in our home, now I realized why. 

"If Mummy and Daddy didn't do this then who?" she demanded with that same unstable calm as before. I would have felt safer if she had just been screaming, this unsteadiness of hers was a reminder that she walked a fine line with madness, and the fury that burned in her eyes warned it was close to boiling over. 

"It was Miss. Vale." I answered her, feeling I had just betrayed my mother. I had no control over myself though, Aunt Bella had me cornered, and my fear of her was going to maintain control. 

"And who may I ask is this Miss. Vale?" 

"She's...she's my governess." 

I could feel my Aunt's body tense at my words and her grip on my wrist tightened. She slowly turned her attention to my mother who was now ashen faced and looking panicked. 

"Narcissa, does this child have a governess?" she hissed. 

"It was Ophelia, Bella. You have to understand, Lucius was raging when Delia was sorted into Gryffindor. He wanted to bring her home right then, but Severus was able to talk him down from it. There have been incidents at the school since then. She's aligned herself with the Weasley's and she has even had conflict with her own brother over a mud blood. I never wanted to do this Bella, but Lucius felt we had no choice. She was causing him shame and he said it could damage Draco's future too. I was trying to think of both of my children and then Ophelia, she wouldn't stop! She blamed it on me, said I was too soft with the child. She said it was because I refused to allow Lucius to employ a governess that Delia was becoming wayward. I knew Lucius had been going to Hogwarts when he was angry with her. He was already out of control, I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry, I never meant for this to happen." as angry as I had been with my mother, it was evident this had been causing her a tremendous amount of pain and regret. Unfortunately for her, my aunt did not share in my sympathy. 

"So because you couldn't stand up to your own husband and that beast of a mother in-law of yours you allowed your own child to befall the same horrors we both suffered! We swore as children to never allow our own daughters to suffer this and here your daughter sits in front of us both with what clearly shows evidence of the contrary! I can't help wonder how much more damage the child has sustained that is simply covered up my her clothing. You did this Cissy! Not Lucius! Not Ophelia! You! Maybe if I had let you take more of Miss. Hawthornes beatings it would have driven it a little closer to your heart." 

My mother looked defeated. Aunt Bella couldn't have hurt her worse if she had beaten her with her fists. I had no intention of causing this rift between them and I felt responsible for all of it. If I hadn't gotten sorted into the wrong house, if I hadn't angered my Father, if I had just kept my mouth shut, none of this would have happened. Whatever endearment I had felt from my mother earlier I was sure was long gone, and whatever happened to me when I got home, I most certainly deserved. I ruined everything, no matter what I did or where I went I ruined everything. 

"You're right.....I should never have let him." Mother said looking heartbroken. 

"She's your daughter Cissy, she's your responsibility. I'm not suggesting you let her carry on like this, I would have beaten my own child for things she's been doing. But it's your responsibility! Save the torture for the mud bloods and the muggles. Don't let some servant come into your house and let her jealous hatred of nobility be taken out on your offspring and put that husband of yours in his place. Remind him that bloody mother of his does not rule your home. And stop crying!" 


End file.
